What should we do?

[JBloggs]

All your suggestions were great! Thank you all for your help. We did prepare a nice meal for everyone. It was a really long day but all was great and everyone was happy. I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again. I think I might just suggest people bring some extra supplies before the weather gets bad. Or maybe we should just offer a pot of soup like GH suggested. Oh well.... all I can say is this.
JB.... I was glad they came by so I could get a "Hot Meal!" .

 

[gillumhouse]

All your suggestions were great! Thank you all for your help. We did prepare a nice meal for everyone. It was a really long day but all was great and everyone was happy. I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again. I think I might just suggest people bring some extra supplies before the weather gets bad. Or maybe we should just offer a pot of soup like GH suggested. Oh well.... all I can say is this.
JB.... I was glad they came by so I could get a "Hot Meal!" .

I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again.
It was great, but you did too much. The soup and bread or biscuits would have felt like a thrown together, "we are all in this together" meal. In my NVHO the full 3-course probably made them feel like "if he could get out to get these supplies, we should have been able to leave". And to leave $5 for a meal like that would be embarrassingly cheap. There is also the possibility (and I HAVE been there to be able to say this - the smallest bill they had was $100 and more than once my smallest was a $20 but in this case I WOULD have left the $20 unless it was my last getting home money (which has also happened to me more than once). Did you remember to "seed the basket" with a $10 or $5? Did you put the basket in an obvious place?
I am so sorry you were stiffed. Perhaps they forgot to tip and were embarrassed to go back to do it. Regardless of the gauche behavior of the guests, YOU did the right thing and THAT is what really counts. YOU and your family can look yourselves in the mirror and know you did the tight thing. THAT should count for a lot.

 

[JBloggs]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

 

[EmptyNest]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

.

Can you use it as a "business meal" deduction? Sounds viable to me

 

[Kay Nein]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

.

Can you use it as a "business meal" deduction? Sounds viable to me
.

He should just include that in the regular operating food expenses. He fed guests, no reason they should question him over the legitimacy of that expense.

 

[gillumhouse]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

.

Can you use it as a "business meal" deduction? Sounds viable to me
.

He should just include that in the regular operating food expenses. He fed guests, no reason they should question him over the legitimacy of that expense.
.

Exactly - it was a cost of doing business. No 'splanation of the deduction required.

 

[JBloggs]

It absolutely is a food cost! I agree.

 

[Madeleine]

All your suggestions were great! Thank you all for your help. We did prepare a nice meal for everyone. It was a really long day but all was great and everyone was happy. I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again. I think I might just suggest people bring some extra supplies before the weather gets bad. Or maybe we should just offer a pot of soup like GH suggested. Oh well.... all I can say is this.
JB.... I was glad they came by so I could get a "Hot Meal!" .

All your suggestions were great! Thank you all for your help. We did prepare a nice meal for everyone. It was a really long day but all was great and everyone was happy. I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again. I think I might just suggest people bring some extra supplies before the weather gets bad. Or maybe we should just offer a pot of soup like GH suggested. Oh well.... all I can say is this. JB.... I was glad they came by so I could get a "Hot Meal!"

Some people don't 'get' the idea that you provided something for them out of pocket. They assumed that of course you would feed them, where else would they get food. That was partly why I recommended letting them know this was not SOP.
We've had guests offer to pay for extras.
This is also why 'pot luck' should be just that. Chili or baked ziti or something that runs in the $10-$20 range for a herd of people.

 

[Silverspoon]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

.

Live and learn. I've gotten a bit calloused over the years, sometimes feeling like a real patsy....going WAY out of my way for guests and barely getting a thank you. Now I don't do more than I feel like doing, knowing that extra kindness to guests is like loaning money to family....it should be given with the expectation that it is a gift that will not be repaid. If I start to feel put-upon, I stop giving with a smile.

 

[Breakfast Diva]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

.

Live and learn. I've gotten a bit calloused over the years, sometimes feeling like a real patsy....going WAY out of my way for guests and barely getting a thank you. Now I don't do more than I feel like doing, knowing that extra kindness to guests is like loaning money to family....it should be given with the expectation that it is a gift that will not be repaid. If I start to feel put-upon, I stop giving with a smile.
.

Live and learn. I've gotten a bit calloused over the years, sometimes feeling like a real patsy....going WAY out of my way for guests and barely getting a thank you. Now I don't do more than I feel like doing, knowing that extra kindness to guests is like loaning money to family....it should be given with the expectation that it is a gift that will not be repaid. If I start to feel put-upon, I stop giving with a smile.

Very wise words!

 

[Copperhead]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

.

Live and learn. I've gotten a bit calloused over the years, sometimes feeling like a real patsy....going WAY out of my way for guests and barely getting a thank you. Now I don't do more than I feel like doing, knowing that extra kindness to guests is like loaning money to family....it should be given with the expectation that it is a gift that will not be repaid. If I start to feel put-upon, I stop giving with a smile.
.

Live and learn. I've gotten a bit calloused over the years, sometimes feeling like a real patsy....going WAY out of my way for guests and barely getting a thank you. Now I don't do more than I feel like doing, knowing that extra kindness to guests is like loaning money to family....it should be given with the expectation that it is a gift that will not be repaid. If I start to feel put-upon, I stop giving with a smile.

Sadly this is true. I could NOT have said it better myself.

Bob, all I can say is that you will be repaid in some way down the road. You did a very nice deed when it was not expected, this will be returned when you least expect it!

 

[Arks]

All your suggestions were great! Thank you all for your help. We did prepare a nice meal for everyone. It was a really long day but all was great and everyone was happy. I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again. I think I might just suggest people bring some extra supplies before the weather gets bad. Or maybe we should just offer a pot of soup like GH suggested. Oh well.... all I can say is this.
JB.... I was glad they came by so I could get a "Hot Meal!" .

I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again.

Today's post by Jim Connolly is right down this alley. (Thanks Joey Bloggs for putting us on to him.)
Excerpt:
Now, sometimes you will help someone and they will ignore it. They won’t even say thanks. That’s all about them… not you. You cannot allow people with no class, to stop you from shining. You can’t allow the ignorant minority to knock you off route. You need to understand that some people are just like that, then when it happens, accept it and move on. You can’t use the mindset of that thankless minority as an excuse not to lead the way, through your contribution.
Think of it like this:

• The process of giving and receiving starts with the giving part.
• The process of sowing and reaping, starts with the sowing part.
• The process of cause and effect, starts with the cause part.

By consistently looking for opportunities to help your clients and your prospective clients, you put a series of processes into play, which improves how people feel about you.

 

[JBloggs]

You should listen to your innmates
Baddie Bob wrote "I just can't believe we did not get one single tip for preparing a really nice full 3 course meal for them. We spent over $100 on this meal and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth to offer this again."
Why did you go to all that trouble? So you GAVE them a free meal? Bob do we need to come back there and harass you some more! We can you know...

.

Live and learn. I've gotten a bit calloused over the years, sometimes feeling like a real patsy....going WAY out of my way for guests and barely getting a thank you. Now I don't do more than I feel like doing, knowing that extra kindness to guests is like loaning money to family....it should be given with the expectation that it is a gift that will not be repaid. If I start to feel put-upon, I stop giving with a smile.
.

Live and learn. I've gotten a bit calloused over the years, sometimes feeling like a real patsy....going WAY out of my way for guests and barely getting a thank you. Now I don't do more than I feel like doing, knowing that extra kindness to guests is like loaning money to family....it should be given with the expectation that it is a gift that will not be repaid. If I start to feel put-upon, I stop giving with a smile.

You know when I feel real bad Silvers, is when people think we did so much and we did less than we normally do, then I feel bad, real bad. Then those who take never stop taking...and never appreciate. it is a conundrum that I suppose is there to make us better people, if we had it all worked out then we could easily give to the ones we adore and hold back from the fiesty bratty pitas...

but in the end we really don't know their hearts, we think we can tell, but maybe we can't. Like I have said about the royal pitas we have had (on this forum)... Perhaps that was THEM BEING HAPPY! Maybe they are actually 10 times worse normally! Ya never know!