The Interview

[BananaE29]

Turn it around.
"How long have you owned the inn?"
"Seems like yesterday! (smile) Do you have children?".

Turn it around.
"How long have you owned the inn?"
"Seems like yesterday! (smile) Do you have children?"

I'm hearing a few of you offering this suggestion of turning the questions around. I believe I'm going to try this, although faking the enthusiasm when I really don't care about their children or their lives (I'm sorry! I just don't right now!) will be a challenge. But I think I can do this.

So..."Is this a family home?"...."No, it's a business venture." I like this because it takes it off the personal path right away. I can then flip that into "And what do y'all do?"...YES, I am trying this today. I shall report back!

 

[BananaE29]

Turn it around.
"How long have you owned the inn?"
"Seems like yesterday! (smile) Do you have children?".

Turn it around.
"How long have you owned the inn?"
"Seems like yesterday! (smile) Do you have children?"

I agree with this totally.
I just don't want for them to launch into their stories.

Unless they are short.
I say that as we all know someone who does this, asks you a question only so you can ask them and then they launch. I had a guest here this way a month or so ago, I heard her asking every person that same question so she could tell them for 30 minutes about her kids. I had to laugh, it was like a teacher being let out of kindergarten for the summer! This was a couple who both spoke at the same time to one person.
At the table one person said something and they both sat across and talked over each other in reply, to the one person. It was quite comical. I have relatives who do this, we have always considered it chaos. Not everyone talking at once, but over each other on the same topic to the same person.
.

I just don't want for them to launch into their stories.

Unless they are short.

Haha I think you must be a long lost sister!

 

[JBloggs]

Not more of this b.s.!
Banana, do they KNOW you are single? Put a pair of work boots by the front door.
"But this isn't chatting - it's intrusive, nosy, and just...exhausting! Is it because there is only one of me? Is it different for those that answer the door with your partner? Is it different for male innkeepers?"
I recall asking an innkeeper where her husband was like 23 years ago, I think about that now and feel bad about it. Why did I do that? Yeah I did it, and now I think what the heck!! (He was away on business, so then she told me her personal stuff on how hard it is when he is away and she has to fend for herself, but I am female and she was so I hope she was not offended by it) boo hoo I am really bad.
AND If you recall my situation this month with the drop kick and the building and health dept being called. He had to be the "big man" and as described by another here, A BULLY.
I know FOR A F A C T he would never have behaved that way with a guy. That was what made me even madder.
I am very sorry you are going through this. You are approachable and friendly this is the reason I bet they are doing this. I guess you can change and not be so friendly, what a shame that would be. But time to close up. My advice "Act like you don't hear them" or continue onto the check in schpeal.
I need to come and see you and have a cuppa with you. I will slap them around for you!

.

It happens constantly - it always bothers me, but I don't usually get this upset about it. I know I have suggested to someone else on here, when struggling with how to say something without coming off rude, that it gets easier the more you do it, and I need to take my own advice. One problem I have is that the questions may start off in a business fashion..for example, "How long have you been doing this?"...the next will be "Is this a family home?"...then that leads into "Do you have family here?"...which leads into "Oh, you do this yourself? You are single?"...which..yes, believe it or not, sometimes will go further "You have NEVER been married? Do you have children?" I mean, at what point do I put up the wall? If I'm direct right way, then I'm not personable. If I decide willy-nilly when the questions start bothering me, I don't really have a standard answer. The response will come out with emotion, because I've let them push me to a point where I'm uncomfortable.

Again, I think people are just trying to make conversation - maybe they're nervous, maybe they think it's expected when in someone else's home to do small talk. I'm not a small talker. I'm a worker. I am a caregiver. I like making people feel special. What I don't like is my personal space invaded. We get no personal time as it is, so stay out of my head at least!

Ugh...just so tired. Yes...please come and have a cuppa with me...with some Bailey's thrown in. Then let's sit by the pool and have a few "harder" drinks. Then let's go on a cruise and let someone else pamper us!
.

We've never been asked if this is a family home. I know Joey gets that one, too!
I hear your misery.
I get they are crossing boundaries they have no business crossing.
Is there a sequence that seems to bring this up more often? As you said, it starts off with asking if this is a family home.
Can you then cut it short saying, 'no this is a business venture.' Without pronouns like 'my' or 'our'.
You CAN use the royal 'we' in these circumstances if you think it helps altho, by golly you are darn proud of doing this yourself!
I'm not a small talker either. Not good at it. But, apparently, the best way to seem incredibly friendly and brilliant if to get the guests talking about themselves.
Perhaps even turning the same questions on them. How long have you lived in (look at rez form for town name )? Do you like it there? I've always wanted to go there, have a cousin there, think the xyz is great there.
Just keep batting the questions back at them.
If they ask about your family ask about theirs. Are you here to visit family?
I pretty much start taking the minute they walk in and keep going right to the room where I part with how they can find me and do they need help with the bags.
It is odd that guests do think we should tell them everything about ourselves like it's a play they've walked in on.
I feel like you do in August. Right now it's so dang slow I'm talking to everyone.
Yes it's hard when you have no down time. I really don't know how you do it. I'd go nuts if I had to do it all myself!
.

Its because they think they rented you with the room.
this is the heart of the issue, i know it well. It pushes you from owner to object, they own.
.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

That's what we like to hear!
Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!

Speaking of southern...do you have any "Cookouts" there? I know they are not orig there as based in NC. They have like 300 varieties of shakes. So anything you order will have chunks of whatever you choose, reeses, cheesecake, etc People kill over the peach cobbler (not my thang, I prefer the chunks like you do of peanut butter etc) and real ice cream (not a machine made soft serve thingy). When you order a combo you can get shake, vs a soda.
Here is the short list from their website:
Banana
Banana Berry
Banana Nut
Banana Fudge
Banana Pineapple
Banana Pudding
Blueberry
Blueberry Cheesecake
Caramel
Caramel Cheesecake
Caramel Fudge
Cappuccino
Cheesecake Chocolate Chip
Chocolate (Hershey's)
Chocolate Cherry
Chocolate Nut
Cherry
Cherry Cobbler
Chocolate Malt
Heath Toffee
Hi-C Punch
Mint Chocolate Chip
Mocha
M&M
Oreo
Oreo Mint
Orange Push Up
Peanut Butter
Peanut Butter Banana
Peanut Butter Fudge
Pineapple
Peach
Peach Cobbler
Reese Cups
Snickers
Strawberry
Strawberry Cheesecake
Vanilla

 

[BananaE29]

Not more of this b.s.!
Banana, do they KNOW you are single? Put a pair of work boots by the front door.
"But this isn't chatting - it's intrusive, nosy, and just...exhausting! Is it because there is only one of me? Is it different for those that answer the door with your partner? Is it different for male innkeepers?"
I recall asking an innkeeper where her husband was like 23 years ago, I think about that now and feel bad about it. Why did I do that? Yeah I did it, and now I think what the heck!! (He was away on business, so then she told me her personal stuff on how hard it is when he is away and she has to fend for herself, but I am female and she was so I hope she was not offended by it) boo hoo I am really bad.
AND If you recall my situation this month with the drop kick and the building and health dept being called. He had to be the "big man" and as described by another here, A BULLY.
I know FOR A F A C T he would never have behaved that way with a guy. That was what made me even madder.
I am very sorry you are going through this. You are approachable and friendly this is the reason I bet they are doing this. I guess you can change and not be so friendly, what a shame that would be. But time to close up. My advice "Act like you don't hear them" or continue onto the check in schpeal.
I need to come and see you and have a cuppa with you. I will slap them around for you!

.

It happens constantly - it always bothers me, but I don't usually get this upset about it. I know I have suggested to someone else on here, when struggling with how to say something without coming off rude, that it gets easier the more you do it, and I need to take my own advice. One problem I have is that the questions may start off in a business fashion..for example, "How long have you been doing this?"...the next will be "Is this a family home?"...then that leads into "Do you have family here?"...which leads into "Oh, you do this yourself? You are single?"...which..yes, believe it or not, sometimes will go further "You have NEVER been married? Do you have children?" I mean, at what point do I put up the wall? If I'm direct right way, then I'm not personable. If I decide willy-nilly when the questions start bothering me, I don't really have a standard answer. The response will come out with emotion, because I've let them push me to a point where I'm uncomfortable.

Again, I think people are just trying to make conversation - maybe they're nervous, maybe they think it's expected when in someone else's home to do small talk. I'm not a small talker. I'm a worker. I am a caregiver. I like making people feel special. What I don't like is my personal space invaded. We get no personal time as it is, so stay out of my head at least!

Ugh...just so tired. Yes...please come and have a cuppa with me...with some Bailey's thrown in. Then let's sit by the pool and have a few "harder" drinks. Then let's go on a cruise and let someone else pamper us!
.

We've never been asked if this is a family home. I know Joey gets that one, too!
I hear your misery.
I get they are crossing boundaries they have no business crossing.
Is there a sequence that seems to bring this up more often? As you said, it starts off with asking if this is a family home.
Can you then cut it short saying, 'no this is a business venture.' Without pronouns like 'my' or 'our'.
You CAN use the royal 'we' in these circumstances if you think it helps altho, by golly you are darn proud of doing this yourself!
I'm not a small talker either. Not good at it. But, apparently, the best way to seem incredibly friendly and brilliant if to get the guests talking about themselves.
Perhaps even turning the same questions on them. How long have you lived in (look at rez form for town name )? Do you like it there? I've always wanted to go there, have a cousin there, think the xyz is great there.
Just keep batting the questions back at them.
If they ask about your family ask about theirs. Are you here to visit family?
I pretty much start taking the minute they walk in and keep going right to the room where I part with how they can find me and do they need help with the bags.
It is odd that guests do think we should tell them everything about ourselves like it's a play they've walked in on.
I feel like you do in August. Right now it's so dang slow I'm talking to everyone.
Yes it's hard when you have no down time. I really don't know how you do it. I'd go nuts if I had to do it all myself!
.

Its because they think they rented you with the room.
this is the heart of the issue, i know it well. It pushes you from owner to object, they own.
.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

That's what we like to hear!
Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!

Speaking of southern...do you have any "Cookouts" there? I know they are not orig there as based in NC. They have like 300 varieties of shakes. So anything you order will have chunks of whatever you choose, reeses, cheesecake, etc People kill over the peach cobbler (not my thang, I prefer the chunks like you do of peanut butter etc) and real ice cream (not a machine made soft serve thingy). When you order a combo you can get shake, vs a soda.
Here is the short list from their website:
Banana
Banana Berry
Banana Nut
Banana Fudge
Banana Pineapple
Banana Pudding
Blueberry
Blueberry Cheesecake
Caramel
Caramel Cheesecake
Caramel Fudge
Cappuccino
Cheesecake Chocolate Chip
Chocolate (Hershey's)
Chocolate Cherry
Chocolate Nut
Cherry
Cherry Cobbler
Chocolate Malt
Heath Toffee
Hi-C Punch
Mint Chocolate Chip
Mocha
M&M
Oreo
Oreo Mint
Orange Push Up
Peanut Butter
Peanut Butter Banana
Peanut Butter Fudge
Pineapple
Peach
Peach Cobbler
Reese Cups
Snickers
Strawberry
Strawberry Cheesecake
Vanilla
.

Really?!? You do this to me when I'm starving and have no hopes of eating for at least a couple hours. Shame on you!
I do not believe we have anything of this nature. But how would I know, unless it's inside my house somewhere!

 

[JBloggs]

Not more of this b.s.!
Banana, do they KNOW you are single? Put a pair of work boots by the front door.
"But this isn't chatting - it's intrusive, nosy, and just...exhausting! Is it because there is only one of me? Is it different for those that answer the door with your partner? Is it different for male innkeepers?"
I recall asking an innkeeper where her husband was like 23 years ago, I think about that now and feel bad about it. Why did I do that? Yeah I did it, and now I think what the heck!! (He was away on business, so then she told me her personal stuff on how hard it is when he is away and she has to fend for herself, but I am female and she was so I hope she was not offended by it) boo hoo I am really bad.
AND If you recall my situation this month with the drop kick and the building and health dept being called. He had to be the "big man" and as described by another here, A BULLY.
I know FOR A F A C T he would never have behaved that way with a guy. That was what made me even madder.
I am very sorry you are going through this. You are approachable and friendly this is the reason I bet they are doing this. I guess you can change and not be so friendly, what a shame that would be. But time to close up. My advice "Act like you don't hear them" or continue onto the check in schpeal.
I need to come and see you and have a cuppa with you. I will slap them around for you!

.

It happens constantly - it always bothers me, but I don't usually get this upset about it. I know I have suggested to someone else on here, when struggling with how to say something without coming off rude, that it gets easier the more you do it, and I need to take my own advice. One problem I have is that the questions may start off in a business fashion..for example, "How long have you been doing this?"...the next will be "Is this a family home?"...then that leads into "Do you have family here?"...which leads into "Oh, you do this yourself? You are single?"...which..yes, believe it or not, sometimes will go further "You have NEVER been married? Do you have children?" I mean, at what point do I put up the wall? If I'm direct right way, then I'm not personable. If I decide willy-nilly when the questions start bothering me, I don't really have a standard answer. The response will come out with emotion, because I've let them push me to a point where I'm uncomfortable.

Again, I think people are just trying to make conversation - maybe they're nervous, maybe they think it's expected when in someone else's home to do small talk. I'm not a small talker. I'm a worker. I am a caregiver. I like making people feel special. What I don't like is my personal space invaded. We get no personal time as it is, so stay out of my head at least!

Ugh...just so tired. Yes...please come and have a cuppa with me...with some Bailey's thrown in. Then let's sit by the pool and have a few "harder" drinks. Then let's go on a cruise and let someone else pamper us!
.

We've never been asked if this is a family home. I know Joey gets that one, too!
I hear your misery.
I get they are crossing boundaries they have no business crossing.
Is there a sequence that seems to bring this up more often? As you said, it starts off with asking if this is a family home.
Can you then cut it short saying, 'no this is a business venture.' Without pronouns like 'my' or 'our'.
You CAN use the royal 'we' in these circumstances if you think it helps altho, by golly you are darn proud of doing this yourself!
I'm not a small talker either. Not good at it. But, apparently, the best way to seem incredibly friendly and brilliant if to get the guests talking about themselves.
Perhaps even turning the same questions on them. How long have you lived in (look at rez form for town name )? Do you like it there? I've always wanted to go there, have a cousin there, think the xyz is great there.
Just keep batting the questions back at them.
If they ask about your family ask about theirs. Are you here to visit family?
I pretty much start taking the minute they walk in and keep going right to the room where I part with how they can find me and do they need help with the bags.
It is odd that guests do think we should tell them everything about ourselves like it's a play they've walked in on.
I feel like you do in August. Right now it's so dang slow I'm talking to everyone.
Yes it's hard when you have no down time. I really don't know how you do it. I'd go nuts if I had to do it all myself!
.

Its because they think they rented you with the room.
this is the heart of the issue, i know it well. It pushes you from owner to object, they own.
.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

That's what we like to hear!
Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!

Speaking of southern...do you have any "Cookouts" there? I know they are not orig there as based in NC. They have like 300 varieties of shakes. So anything you order will have chunks of whatever you choose, reeses, cheesecake, etc People kill over the peach cobbler (not my thang, I prefer the chunks like you do of peanut butter etc) and real ice cream (not a machine made soft serve thingy). When you order a combo you can get shake, vs a soda.
Here is the short list from their website:
Banana
Banana Berry
Banana Nut
Banana Fudge
Banana Pineapple
Banana Pudding
Blueberry
Blueberry Cheesecake
Caramel
Caramel Cheesecake
Caramel Fudge
Cappuccino
Cheesecake Chocolate Chip
Chocolate (Hershey's)
Chocolate Cherry
Chocolate Nut
Cherry
Cherry Cobbler
Chocolate Malt
Heath Toffee
Hi-C Punch
Mint Chocolate Chip
Mocha
M&M
Oreo
Oreo Mint
Orange Push Up
Peanut Butter
Peanut Butter Banana
Peanut Butter Fudge
Pineapple
Peach
Peach Cobbler
Reese Cups
Snickers
Strawberry
Strawberry Cheesecake
Vanilla
.

Really?!? You do this to me when I'm starving and have no hopes of eating for at least a couple hours. Shame on you!
I do not believe we have anything of this nature. But how would I know, unless it's inside my house somewhere!
.

Really?!? You do this to me when I'm starving and have no hopes of eating for at least a couple hours. Shame on you!
I do not believe we have anything of this nature. But how would I know, unless it's inside my house somewhere!

I think I am beginning to pencil you in on my next road trip.

 

[user 26]

ugh, banana. i remember it well. probing, intrusive questions. deflect and distract or ignore them. what i answered depended on my mood and how much i felt like sharing. i did wonder if it was because they felt like they were coming into my home and should chat ... like 'company'.

 

[BananaE29]

Not more of this b.s.!
Banana, do they KNOW you are single? Put a pair of work boots by the front door.
"But this isn't chatting - it's intrusive, nosy, and just...exhausting! Is it because there is only one of me? Is it different for those that answer the door with your partner? Is it different for male innkeepers?"
I recall asking an innkeeper where her husband was like 23 years ago, I think about that now and feel bad about it. Why did I do that? Yeah I did it, and now I think what the heck!! (He was away on business, so then she told me her personal stuff on how hard it is when he is away and she has to fend for herself, but I am female and she was so I hope she was not offended by it) boo hoo I am really bad.
AND If you recall my situation this month with the drop kick and the building and health dept being called. He had to be the "big man" and as described by another here, A BULLY.
I know FOR A F A C T he would never have behaved that way with a guy. That was what made me even madder.
I am very sorry you are going through this. You are approachable and friendly this is the reason I bet they are doing this. I guess you can change and not be so friendly, what a shame that would be. But time to close up. My advice "Act like you don't hear them" or continue onto the check in schpeal.
I need to come and see you and have a cuppa with you. I will slap them around for you!

.

It happens constantly - it always bothers me, but I don't usually get this upset about it. I know I have suggested to someone else on here, when struggling with how to say something without coming off rude, that it gets easier the more you do it, and I need to take my own advice. One problem I have is that the questions may start off in a business fashion..for example, "How long have you been doing this?"...the next will be "Is this a family home?"...then that leads into "Do you have family here?"...which leads into "Oh, you do this yourself? You are single?"...which..yes, believe it or not, sometimes will go further "You have NEVER been married? Do you have children?" I mean, at what point do I put up the wall? If I'm direct right way, then I'm not personable. If I decide willy-nilly when the questions start bothering me, I don't really have a standard answer. The response will come out with emotion, because I've let them push me to a point where I'm uncomfortable.

Again, I think people are just trying to make conversation - maybe they're nervous, maybe they think it's expected when in someone else's home to do small talk. I'm not a small talker. I'm a worker. I am a caregiver. I like making people feel special. What I don't like is my personal space invaded. We get no personal time as it is, so stay out of my head at least!

Ugh...just so tired. Yes...please come and have a cuppa with me...with some Bailey's thrown in. Then let's sit by the pool and have a few "harder" drinks. Then let's go on a cruise and let someone else pamper us!
.

We've never been asked if this is a family home. I know Joey gets that one, too!
I hear your misery.
I get they are crossing boundaries they have no business crossing.
Is there a sequence that seems to bring this up more often? As you said, it starts off with asking if this is a family home.
Can you then cut it short saying, 'no this is a business venture.' Without pronouns like 'my' or 'our'.
You CAN use the royal 'we' in these circumstances if you think it helps altho, by golly you are darn proud of doing this yourself!
I'm not a small talker either. Not good at it. But, apparently, the best way to seem incredibly friendly and brilliant if to get the guests talking about themselves.
Perhaps even turning the same questions on them. How long have you lived in (look at rez form for town name )? Do you like it there? I've always wanted to go there, have a cousin there, think the xyz is great there.
Just keep batting the questions back at them.
If they ask about your family ask about theirs. Are you here to visit family?
I pretty much start taking the minute they walk in and keep going right to the room where I part with how they can find me and do they need help with the bags.
It is odd that guests do think we should tell them everything about ourselves like it's a play they've walked in on.
I feel like you do in August. Right now it's so dang slow I'm talking to everyone.
Yes it's hard when you have no down time. I really don't know how you do it. I'd go nuts if I had to do it all myself!
.

Its because they think they rented you with the room.
this is the heart of the issue, i know it well. It pushes you from owner to object, they own.
.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

.

I feel this way with groups, I've never felt this way with individuals. This insight may help me to be a little more firm in my responses because nobody owns me! Except ice cream...ice cream owns me

That's what we like to hear!
Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!
.

Well if it is butter pecan, I mean.

One of us is a Southern girl, apparently I just live here - give me something with peanut butter or chunks of brownies in it. YUM!

Speaking of southern...do you have any "Cookouts" there? I know they are not orig there as based in NC. They have like 300 varieties of shakes. So anything you order will have chunks of whatever you choose, reeses, cheesecake, etc People kill over the peach cobbler (not my thang, I prefer the chunks like you do of peanut butter etc) and real ice cream (not a machine made soft serve thingy). When you order a combo you can get shake, vs a soda.
Here is the short list from their website:
Banana
Banana Berry
Banana Nut
Banana Fudge
Banana Pineapple
Banana Pudding
Blueberry
Blueberry Cheesecake
Caramel
Caramel Cheesecake
Caramel Fudge
Cappuccino
Cheesecake Chocolate Chip
Chocolate (Hershey's)
Chocolate Cherry
Chocolate Nut
Cherry
Cherry Cobbler
Chocolate Malt
Heath Toffee
Hi-C Punch
Mint Chocolate Chip
Mocha
M&M
Oreo
Oreo Mint
Orange Push Up
Peanut Butter
Peanut Butter Banana
Peanut Butter Fudge
Pineapple
Peach
Peach Cobbler
Reese Cups
Snickers
Strawberry
Strawberry Cheesecake
Vanilla
.

Really?!? You do this to me when I'm starving and have no hopes of eating for at least a couple hours. Shame on you!
I do not believe we have anything of this nature. But how would I know, unless it's inside my house somewhere!
.

Really?!? You do this to me when I'm starving and have no hopes of eating for at least a couple hours. Shame on you!
I do not believe we have anything of this nature. But how would I know, unless it's inside my house somewhere!

I think I am beginning to pencil you in on my next road trip.
.

I know a great place for you to stay. The new owners will love you!

 

[Madeleine]

Not more of this b.s.!
Banana, do they KNOW you are single? Put a pair of work boots by the front door.
"But this isn't chatting - it's intrusive, nosy, and just...exhausting! Is it because there is only one of me? Is it different for those that answer the door with your partner? Is it different for male innkeepers?"
I recall asking an innkeeper where her husband was like 23 years ago, I think about that now and feel bad about it. Why did I do that? Yeah I did it, and now I think what the heck!! (He was away on business, so then she told me her personal stuff on how hard it is when he is away and she has to fend for herself, but I am female and she was so I hope she was not offended by it) boo hoo I am really bad.
AND If you recall my situation this month with the drop kick and the building and health dept being called. He had to be the "big man" and as described by another here, A BULLY.
I know FOR A F A C T he would never have behaved that way with a guy. That was what made me even madder.
I am very sorry you are going through this. You are approachable and friendly this is the reason I bet they are doing this. I guess you can change and not be so friendly, what a shame that would be. But time to close up. My advice "Act like you don't hear them" or continue onto the check in schpeal.
I need to come and see you and have a cuppa with you. I will slap them around for you!

.

It happens constantly - it always bothers me, but I don't usually get this upset about it. I know I have suggested to someone else on here, when struggling with how to say something without coming off rude, that it gets easier the more you do it, and I need to take my own advice. One problem I have is that the questions may start off in a business fashion..for example, "How long have you been doing this?"...the next will be "Is this a family home?"...then that leads into "Do you have family here?"...which leads into "Oh, you do this yourself? You are single?"...which..yes, believe it or not, sometimes will go further "You have NEVER been married? Do you have children?" I mean, at what point do I put up the wall? If I'm direct right way, then I'm not personable. If I decide willy-nilly when the questions start bothering me, I don't really have a standard answer. The response will come out with emotion, because I've let them push me to a point where I'm uncomfortable.

Again, I think people are just trying to make conversation - maybe they're nervous, maybe they think it's expected when in someone else's home to do small talk. I'm not a small talker. I'm a worker. I am a caregiver. I like making people feel special. What I don't like is my personal space invaded. We get no personal time as it is, so stay out of my head at least!

Ugh...just so tired. Yes...please come and have a cuppa with me...with some Bailey's thrown in. Then let's sit by the pool and have a few "harder" drinks. Then let's go on a cruise and let someone else pamper us!
.

In spite of my saying I don't do small talk this is my patter...
Hi! Come on in! I'm Madeleine. (Pause for them to realize they need to tell me who they are.)
Tell them I'll be right back I have to get their keys. (This has worked remarkably well for them to orient themselves before I come back and ask for payment and signatures.)
If you would offer a drink at this point go for it.
I then review their rez form, go over the number of days, the room they chose and show then the balance and ask for the cc.
While they are rooting around I ask how was the drive, where else have they been, where are they going, would they like a map, have they been in town before, do they need help with dinner reservations, etc. Review dietary stuff.
After payment I explain the keys and the entry door and say I'll now show them around the house. Which I do.
Show them the high points, mention breakfast time, coffee time, etc. Show them the brochures of things to do, ask if they have plans.
If they have mentioned seeing or doing something I'll ask how they liked it, would they recommend it, etc. Ask if they need directions to anything.
By now we're at the room. I open the door, turn on the lights, Point out the a/c, heat, bathroom. Tell them where to find me, thank them again, give them my name again and say I'll see them around the house or in the morning for breakfast.
5 minutes tops.
Not to say it has not taken 45 minutes to do a check-in if someone wants to talk. If I'm in the mood I'll talk, if not I excuse myself and say I'm the only one here right now (excellent reference for you, "right now") and I have to check on something in the oven.
But I get the total tedium of constant chatter. It hurts my head. I'm not a social butterfly.
.

Our check in process is almost identical. I do the tour downstairs, show them brochures, how to work the front door, the dining room, how to get to the pool, etc...then I say "Let's get the registration out of the way before I show you to the room". If they haven't started with the questions by then (and that's a big IF), they'll start at this point. While I'm running their card, actually using my brain, instead of spouting off the same words I've said ten gazillion times...THIS is when they'll choose to start. Now at this point, I have no problem saying "I'm sorry...I'm not a good multi-tasker and I don't think you want me to over charge you" (I say it with humor), and they get the hint. That will actually shut them up for the entire time until we get to the room - most people, by this point, are happy to be in THEIR room, and could give a hoot less about me. Glory Day! So I always try to get to that point quickly.

I am really thankful for the replies, if for no other reason to realize I'm not just a grumpy burned out innkeeper and others feel the same. I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one that doesn't like the small talk.
.

Side track here... We have guests from your state here who love going to your town, I gave them your name. They're not the least bit nosy.

 

[BananaE29]

Not more of this b.s.!
Banana, do they KNOW you are single? Put a pair of work boots by the front door.
"But this isn't chatting - it's intrusive, nosy, and just...exhausting! Is it because there is only one of me? Is it different for those that answer the door with your partner? Is it different for male innkeepers?"
I recall asking an innkeeper where her husband was like 23 years ago, I think about that now and feel bad about it. Why did I do that? Yeah I did it, and now I think what the heck!! (He was away on business, so then she told me her personal stuff on how hard it is when he is away and she has to fend for herself, but I am female and she was so I hope she was not offended by it) boo hoo I am really bad.
AND If you recall my situation this month with the drop kick and the building and health dept being called. He had to be the "big man" and as described by another here, A BULLY.
I know FOR A F A C T he would never have behaved that way with a guy. That was what made me even madder.
I am very sorry you are going through this. You are approachable and friendly this is the reason I bet they are doing this. I guess you can change and not be so friendly, what a shame that would be. But time to close up. My advice "Act like you don't hear them" or continue onto the check in schpeal.
I need to come and see you and have a cuppa with you. I will slap them around for you!

.

It happens constantly - it always bothers me, but I don't usually get this upset about it. I know I have suggested to someone else on here, when struggling with how to say something without coming off rude, that it gets easier the more you do it, and I need to take my own advice. One problem I have is that the questions may start off in a business fashion..for example, "How long have you been doing this?"...the next will be "Is this a family home?"...then that leads into "Do you have family here?"...which leads into "Oh, you do this yourself? You are single?"...which..yes, believe it or not, sometimes will go further "You have NEVER been married? Do you have children?" I mean, at what point do I put up the wall? If I'm direct right way, then I'm not personable. If I decide willy-nilly when the questions start bothering me, I don't really have a standard answer. The response will come out with emotion, because I've let them push me to a point where I'm uncomfortable.

Again, I think people are just trying to make conversation - maybe they're nervous, maybe they think it's expected when in someone else's home to do small talk. I'm not a small talker. I'm a worker. I am a caregiver. I like making people feel special. What I don't like is my personal space invaded. We get no personal time as it is, so stay out of my head at least!

Ugh...just so tired. Yes...please come and have a cuppa with me...with some Bailey's thrown in. Then let's sit by the pool and have a few "harder" drinks. Then let's go on a cruise and let someone else pamper us!
.

In spite of my saying I don't do small talk this is my patter...
Hi! Come on in! I'm Madeleine. (Pause for them to realize they need to tell me who they are.)
Tell them I'll be right back I have to get their keys. (This has worked remarkably well for them to orient themselves before I come back and ask for payment and signatures.)
If you would offer a drink at this point go for it.
I then review their rez form, go over the number of days, the room they chose and show then the balance and ask for the cc.
While they are rooting around I ask how was the drive, where else have they been, where are they going, would they like a map, have they been in town before, do they need help with dinner reservations, etc. Review dietary stuff.
After payment I explain the keys and the entry door and say I'll now show them around the house. Which I do.
Show them the high points, mention breakfast time, coffee time, etc. Show them the brochures of things to do, ask if they have plans.
If they have mentioned seeing or doing something I'll ask how they liked it, would they recommend it, etc. Ask if they need directions to anything.
By now we're at the room. I open the door, turn on the lights, Point out the a/c, heat, bathroom. Tell them where to find me, thank them again, give them my name again and say I'll see them around the house or in the morning for breakfast.
5 minutes tops.
Not to say it has not taken 45 minutes to do a check-in if someone wants to talk. If I'm in the mood I'll talk, if not I excuse myself and say I'm the only one here right now (excellent reference for you, "right now") and I have to check on something in the oven.
But I get the total tedium of constant chatter. It hurts my head. I'm not a social butterfly.
.

Our check in process is almost identical. I do the tour downstairs, show them brochures, how to work the front door, the dining room, how to get to the pool, etc...then I say "Let's get the registration out of the way before I show you to the room". If they haven't started with the questions by then (and that's a big IF), they'll start at this point. While I'm running their card, actually using my brain, instead of spouting off the same words I've said ten gazillion times...THIS is when they'll choose to start. Now at this point, I have no problem saying "I'm sorry...I'm not a good multi-tasker and I don't think you want me to over charge you" (I say it with humor), and they get the hint. That will actually shut them up for the entire time until we get to the room - most people, by this point, are happy to be in THEIR room, and could give a hoot less about me. Glory Day! So I always try to get to that point quickly.

I am really thankful for the replies, if for no other reason to realize I'm not just a grumpy burned out innkeeper and others feel the same. I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one that doesn't like the small talk.
.

Side track here... We have guests from your state here who love going to your town, I gave them your name. They're not the least bit nosy.
.

Side track here... We have guests from your state here who love going to your town, I gave them your name. They're not the least bit nosy.

Thanks Madeleine! Why is it I never know who owns what on this forum? I guess I'm not consistently on here enough. I know JB's place. And Empty Nest helped me a lot with my website. But I can't ever make the connection with names and places.

 

[Madeleine]

Not more of this b.s.!
Banana, do they KNOW you are single? Put a pair of work boots by the front door.
"But this isn't chatting - it's intrusive, nosy, and just...exhausting! Is it because there is only one of me? Is it different for those that answer the door with your partner? Is it different for male innkeepers?"
I recall asking an innkeeper where her husband was like 23 years ago, I think about that now and feel bad about it. Why did I do that? Yeah I did it, and now I think what the heck!! (He was away on business, so then she told me her personal stuff on how hard it is when he is away and she has to fend for herself, but I am female and she was so I hope she was not offended by it) boo hoo I am really bad.
AND If you recall my situation this month with the drop kick and the building and health dept being called. He had to be the "big man" and as described by another here, A BULLY.
I know FOR A F A C T he would never have behaved that way with a guy. That was what made me even madder.
I am very sorry you are going through this. You are approachable and friendly this is the reason I bet they are doing this. I guess you can change and not be so friendly, what a shame that would be. But time to close up. My advice "Act like you don't hear them" or continue onto the check in schpeal.
I need to come and see you and have a cuppa with you. I will slap them around for you!

.

It happens constantly - it always bothers me, but I don't usually get this upset about it. I know I have suggested to someone else on here, when struggling with how to say something without coming off rude, that it gets easier the more you do it, and I need to take my own advice. One problem I have is that the questions may start off in a business fashion..for example, "How long have you been doing this?"...the next will be "Is this a family home?"...then that leads into "Do you have family here?"...which leads into "Oh, you do this yourself? You are single?"...which..yes, believe it or not, sometimes will go further "You have NEVER been married? Do you have children?" I mean, at what point do I put up the wall? If I'm direct right way, then I'm not personable. If I decide willy-nilly when the questions start bothering me, I don't really have a standard answer. The response will come out with emotion, because I've let them push me to a point where I'm uncomfortable.

Again, I think people are just trying to make conversation - maybe they're nervous, maybe they think it's expected when in someone else's home to do small talk. I'm not a small talker. I'm a worker. I am a caregiver. I like making people feel special. What I don't like is my personal space invaded. We get no personal time as it is, so stay out of my head at least!

Ugh...just so tired. Yes...please come and have a cuppa with me...with some Bailey's thrown in. Then let's sit by the pool and have a few "harder" drinks. Then let's go on a cruise and let someone else pamper us!
.

In spite of my saying I don't do small talk this is my patter...
Hi! Come on in! I'm Madeleine. (Pause for them to realize they need to tell me who they are.)
Tell them I'll be right back I have to get their keys. (This has worked remarkably well for them to orient themselves before I come back and ask for payment and signatures.)
If you would offer a drink at this point go for it.
I then review their rez form, go over the number of days, the room they chose and show then the balance and ask for the cc.
While they are rooting around I ask how was the drive, where else have they been, where are they going, would they like a map, have they been in town before, do they need help with dinner reservations, etc. Review dietary stuff.
After payment I explain the keys and the entry door and say I'll now show them around the house. Which I do.
Show them the high points, mention breakfast time, coffee time, etc. Show them the brochures of things to do, ask if they have plans.
If they have mentioned seeing or doing something I'll ask how they liked it, would they recommend it, etc. Ask if they need directions to anything.
By now we're at the room. I open the door, turn on the lights, Point out the a/c, heat, bathroom. Tell them where to find me, thank them again, give them my name again and say I'll see them around the house or in the morning for breakfast.
5 minutes tops.
Not to say it has not taken 45 minutes to do a check-in if someone wants to talk. If I'm in the mood I'll talk, if not I excuse myself and say I'm the only one here right now (excellent reference for you, "right now") and I have to check on something in the oven.
But I get the total tedium of constant chatter. It hurts my head. I'm not a social butterfly.
.

Our check in process is almost identical. I do the tour downstairs, show them brochures, how to work the front door, the dining room, how to get to the pool, etc...then I say "Let's get the registration out of the way before I show you to the room". If they haven't started with the questions by then (and that's a big IF), they'll start at this point. While I'm running their card, actually using my brain, instead of spouting off the same words I've said ten gazillion times...THIS is when they'll choose to start. Now at this point, I have no problem saying "I'm sorry...I'm not a good multi-tasker and I don't think you want me to over charge you" (I say it with humor), and they get the hint. That will actually shut them up for the entire time until we get to the room - most people, by this point, are happy to be in THEIR room, and could give a hoot less about me. Glory Day! So I always try to get to that point quickly.

I am really thankful for the replies, if for no other reason to realize I'm not just a grumpy burned out innkeeper and others feel the same. I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one that doesn't like the small talk.
.

Side track here... We have guests from your state here who love going to your town, I gave them your name. They're not the least bit nosy.
.

Side track here... We have guests from your state here who love going to your town, I gave them your name. They're not the least bit nosy.

Thanks Madeleine! Why is it I never know who owns what on this forum? I guess I'm not consistently on here enough. I know JB's place. And Empty Nest helped me a lot with my website. But I can't ever make the connection with names and places.
.

Mostly because I don't mention much about where I am.
I think you've mentioned some things that were very specific. Maybe when you were redoing your website?
But, there are a lot of people on here I don't know either.

 

[happyjacks]

I'm not single, but I do solo check-ins most of the time and am often peppered with these same kinds of questions. I don't actually mind the curiosity of guests, but I often don't have the time to answer, especially with the rapid-fire guests.
Sometimes I use a delay tactic on them. When they ask "How did you end up here?", I reply "I'll have to tell you about that at breakfast or I won't be ready for the next guests". Not really a solution for you since you don't want to tell them later, but if you're taken off guard, you can use it to buy some time. Some people won't pick the question back up later but if they do, you can have another tactic ready.
The other thing you can do is deflect, not just back at them (because maybe you don't want to hand them the convo ball), but to non-personal aspects of the topic.
For instance, if they ask "Is this your family home?" Make the answer about origins of the building and not about your family. "No actually, this house was built by the first doctor of the town" or "Most of the homes in this neighbourhood were built in the boom of the 80's when there was a big influx of martians...". You're staying in control of the conversation and you're still answering their question, just from a different angle.
The other thing you can do is answer like a politician. Give an answer that could be tied to their question by the thinnest string and don't worry if it is at all relevant.
Q: "Do you have family in the area?"
A: "This is a great, family-oriented community, whether you have family or not. You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Everyone here watches out for each other, but still lets everyone march to the beat of their own drummer. Friends and community are like the family you choose."
Good luck and hang in there!

 

[Madeleine]

I'm not single, but I do solo check-ins most of the time and am often peppered with these same kinds of questions. I don't actually mind the curiosity of guests, but I often don't have the time to answer, especially with the rapid-fire guests.
Sometimes I use a delay tactic on them. When they ask "How did you end up here?", I reply "I'll have to tell you about that at breakfast or I won't be ready for the next guests". Not really a solution for you since you don't want to tell them later, but if you're taken off guard, you can use it to buy some time. Some people won't pick the question back up later but if they do, you can have another tactic ready.
The other thing you can do is deflect, not just back at them (because maybe you don't want to hand them the convo ball), but to non-personal aspects of the topic.
For instance, if they ask "Is this your family home?" Make the answer about origins of the building and not about your family. "No actually, this house was built by the first doctor of the town" or "Most of the homes in this neighbourhood were built in the boom of the 80's when there was a big influx of martians...". You're staying in control of the conversation and you're still answering their question, just from a different angle.
The other thing you can do is answer like a politician. Give an answer that could be tied to their question by the thinnest string and don't worry if it is at all relevant.
Q: "Do you have family in the area?"
A: "This is a great, family-oriented community, whether you have family or not. You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Everyone here watches out for each other, but still lets everyone march to the beat of their own drummer. Friends and community are like the family you choose."
Good luck and hang in there!.

Wow, you are good!

 

[BananaE29]

I'm not single, but I do solo check-ins most of the time and am often peppered with these same kinds of questions. I don't actually mind the curiosity of guests, but I often don't have the time to answer, especially with the rapid-fire guests.
Sometimes I use a delay tactic on them. When they ask "How did you end up here?", I reply "I'll have to tell you about that at breakfast or I won't be ready for the next guests". Not really a solution for you since you don't want to tell them later, but if you're taken off guard, you can use it to buy some time. Some people won't pick the question back up later but if they do, you can have another tactic ready.
The other thing you can do is deflect, not just back at them (because maybe you don't want to hand them the convo ball), but to non-personal aspects of the topic.
For instance, if they ask "Is this your family home?" Make the answer about origins of the building and not about your family. "No actually, this house was built by the first doctor of the town" or "Most of the homes in this neighbourhood were built in the boom of the 80's when there was a big influx of martians...". You're staying in control of the conversation and you're still answering their question, just from a different angle.
The other thing you can do is answer like a politician. Give an answer that could be tied to their question by the thinnest string and don't worry if it is at all relevant.
Q: "Do you have family in the area?"
A: "This is a great, family-oriented community, whether you have family or not. You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Everyone here watches out for each other, but still lets everyone march to the beat of their own drummer. Friends and community are like the family you choose."
Good luck and hang in there!.

Those are all excellent responses. I need little cue cards to carry around with me, or maybe I'll write it on my arm like I did for tests in high school First check ins are here - I was completely prepared, and they did not ask one single question. Not about me, the town, the house...nothing! Good grief! So I'm back here, reading responses over again because I have such a crap memory, and I'll be prepared with some of these answers for the next ones to get here!

 

[Copperhead]

I'm not single, but I do solo check-ins most of the time and am often peppered with these same kinds of questions. I don't actually mind the curiosity of guests, but I often don't have the time to answer, especially with the rapid-fire guests.
Sometimes I use a delay tactic on them. When they ask "How did you end up here?", I reply "I'll have to tell you about that at breakfast or I won't be ready for the next guests". Not really a solution for you since you don't want to tell them later, but if you're taken off guard, you can use it to buy some time. Some people won't pick the question back up later but if they do, you can have another tactic ready.
The other thing you can do is deflect, not just back at them (because maybe you don't want to hand them the convo ball), but to non-personal aspects of the topic.
For instance, if they ask "Is this your family home?" Make the answer about origins of the building and not about your family. "No actually, this house was built by the first doctor of the town" or "Most of the homes in this neighbourhood were built in the boom of the 80's when there was a big influx of martians...". You're staying in control of the conversation and you're still answering their question, just from a different angle.
The other thing you can do is answer like a politician. Give an answer that could be tied to their question by the thinnest string and don't worry if it is at all relevant.
Q: "Do you have family in the area?"
A: "This is a great, family-oriented community, whether you have family or not. You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Everyone here watches out for each other, but still lets everyone march to the beat of their own drummer. Friends and community are like the family you choose."
Good luck and hang in there!.

The other thing you can do is answer like a politician. Give an answer that could be tied to their question by the thinnest string and don't worry if it is at all relevant.
Q: "Do you have family in the area?"
A: "This is a great, family-oriented community, whether you have family or not. You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Everyone here watches out for each other, but still lets everyone march to the beat of their own drummer. Friends and community are like the family you choose."
Good luck and hang in there!

GEE, that is almost creepy good!

Anyone asking a 2nd question after that answer deserves a 30 min rattle on about nothing remotely on the topic.

 

[BananaE29]

Success! "Is this a family home?" was the second question, mixed right in with my spiel. I think I was on "Help yourself to maps & brochures" when it came flying out of their mouth. I mean, really? Obviously not listening to me or they wouldn't have asked that question. So my response was "This is an investment property for me" (I couldn't remember the exact words to use!), then I went right back to what I was saying.

I got back to my speech and "Do you live here?" came next. I realize that's not really a personal question - some people do care that the owner lives on site. So I answered "Yes, we do, but the best way to reach us is by cell phone. I'll give you that number in just a moment." I think I came across personable, but more business like than I usually do. I also showed more of an interest in them and why they were visiting here, and asked more questions than I normally would.

So.....Avoid, Deflect, and Reflect (it back to them) is my new motto. I'm anxious to practice it more and get even better! LOL

 

[Madeleine]

Success! "Is this a family home?" was the second question, mixed right in with my spiel. I think I was on "Help yourself to maps & brochures" when it came flying out of their mouth. I mean, really? Obviously not listening to me or they wouldn't have asked that question. So my response was "This is an investment property for me" (I couldn't remember the exact words to use!), then I went right back to what I was saying.

I got back to my speech and "Do you live here?" came next. I realize that's not really a personal question - some people do care that the owner lives on site. So I answered "Yes, we do, but the best way to reach us is by cell phone. I'll give you that number in just a moment." I think I came across personable, but more business like than I usually do. I also showed more of an interest in them and why they were visiting here, and asked more questions than I normally would.

So.....Avoid, Deflect, and Reflect (it back to them) is my new motto. I'm anxious to practice it more and get even better! LOL.

Yes. The do you live here question is to make sure someone is around.
The royal 'we' came in handy!
Good for you!
Usually we get the 20 questions during breakfast. Mostly about if we're local, if not where'd we come from, what did we do before, why did we change jobs.
We spent 20 minutes today showing guests pix of our old house. It's odd where the conversation goes.

 

[Innkeep]

Success! "Is this a family home?" was the second question, mixed right in with my spiel. I think I was on "Help yourself to maps & brochures" when it came flying out of their mouth. I mean, really? Obviously not listening to me or they wouldn't have asked that question. So my response was "This is an investment property for me" (I couldn't remember the exact words to use!), then I went right back to what I was saying.

I got back to my speech and "Do you live here?" came next. I realize that's not really a personal question - some people do care that the owner lives on site. So I answered "Yes, we do, but the best way to reach us is by cell phone. I'll give you that number in just a moment." I think I came across personable, but more business like than I usually do. I also showed more of an interest in them and why they were visiting here, and asked more questions than I normally would.

So.....Avoid, Deflect, and Reflect (it back to them) is my new motto. I'm anxious to practice it more and get even better! LOL.

Success! "Is this a family home?" was the second question, mixed right in with my spiel. I think I was on "Help yourself to maps & brochures" when it came flying out of their mouth. I mean, really? Obviously not listening to me or they wouldn't have asked that question. So my response was "This is an investment property for me" (I couldn't remember the exact words to use!), then I went right back to what I was saying.

I got back to my speech and "Do you live here?" came next. I realize that's not really a personal question - some people do care that the owner lives on site. So I answered "Yes, we do, but the best way to reach us is by cell phone. I'll give you that number in just a moment." I think I came across personable, but more business like than I usually do. I also showed more of an interest in them and why they were visiting here, and asked more questions than I normally would.

So.....Avoid, Deflect, and Reflect (it back to them) is my new motto. I'm anxious to practice it more and get even better! LOL

 

[Joey Camb]

I'm not single, but I do solo check-ins most of the time and am often peppered with these same kinds of questions. I don't actually mind the curiosity of guests, but I often don't have the time to answer, especially with the rapid-fire guests.
Sometimes I use a delay tactic on them. When they ask "How did you end up here?", I reply "I'll have to tell you about that at breakfast or I won't be ready for the next guests". Not really a solution for you since you don't want to tell them later, but if you're taken off guard, you can use it to buy some time. Some people won't pick the question back up later but if they do, you can have another tactic ready.
The other thing you can do is deflect, not just back at them (because maybe you don't want to hand them the convo ball), but to non-personal aspects of the topic.
For instance, if they ask "Is this your family home?" Make the answer about origins of the building and not about your family. "No actually, this house was built by the first doctor of the town" or "Most of the homes in this neighbourhood were built in the boom of the 80's when there was a big influx of martians...". You're staying in control of the conversation and you're still answering their question, just from a different angle.
The other thing you can do is answer like a politician. Give an answer that could be tied to their question by the thinnest string and don't worry if it is at all relevant.
Q: "Do you have family in the area?"
A: "This is a great, family-oriented community, whether you have family or not. You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Everyone here watches out for each other, but still lets everyone march to the beat of their own drummer. Friends and community are like the family you choose."
Good luck and hang in there!.

The other thing you can do is answer like a politician. Give an answer that could be tied to their question by the thinnest string and don't worry if it is at all relevant.
Q: "Do you have family in the area?"
A: "This is a great, family-oriented community, whether you have family or not. You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? Everyone here watches out for each other, but still lets everyone march to the beat of their own drummer. Friends and community are like the family you choose."
Good luck and hang in there!

GEE, that is almost creepy good!

Anyone asking a 2nd question after that answer deserves a 30 min rattle on about nothing remotely on the topic.

.

we get _ how long have you been here - a lot!
I answer with "4 1/2 years its a big renovation project and start listing things we have done! that gets rid of the rest of the questions!

 

[JBloggs]

Success! "Is this a family home?" was the second question, mixed right in with my spiel. I think I was on "Help yourself to maps & brochures" when it came flying out of their mouth. I mean, really? Obviously not listening to me or they wouldn't have asked that question. So my response was "This is an investment property for me" (I couldn't remember the exact words to use!), then I went right back to what I was saying.

I got back to my speech and "Do you live here?" came next. I realize that's not really a personal question - some people do care that the owner lives on site. So I answered "Yes, we do, but the best way to reach us is by cell phone. I'll give you that number in just a moment." I think I came across personable, but more business like than I usually do. I also showed more of an interest in them and why they were visiting here, and asked more questions than I normally would.

So.....Avoid, Deflect, and Reflect (it back to them) is my new motto. I'm anxious to practice it more and get even better! LOL.

So.....Avoid, Deflect, and Reflect (it back to them) is my new motto. I'm anxious to practice it more and get even better! LOL

After all this discussion guests checked in walked into the room talking and sat down. One on the sofa and one of the bed and kept talking! I am my own worst enemy. I had to laugh (inside) as they held me captive AND I was still outside the door trying to put this into action!
I actually felt guilty trying to escape them. They are really nice people and were being friendly.
So all that say, do what you have to do when you feel the way you feel. I walked back down the stairs shaking my head saying "So much for that!" and laughing. Now I know what their son does, how their dog died and more!
Thanks a lot for the deflect advice innmates!

 

[JBloggs]

Success! "Is this a family home?" was the second question, mixed right in with my spiel. I think I was on "Help yourself to maps & brochures" when it came flying out of their mouth. I mean, really? Obviously not listening to me or they wouldn't have asked that question. So my response was "This is an investment property for me" (I couldn't remember the exact words to use!), then I went right back to what I was saying.

I got back to my speech and "Do you live here?" came next. I realize that's not really a personal question - some people do care that the owner lives on site. So I answered "Yes, we do, but the best way to reach us is by cell phone. I'll give you that number in just a moment." I think I came across personable, but more business like than I usually do. I also showed more of an interest in them and why they were visiting here, and asked more questions than I normally would.

So.....Avoid, Deflect, and Reflect (it back to them) is my new motto. I'm anxious to practice it more and get even better! LOL.

I got back to my speech and "Do you live here?" came next. I realize that's not really a personal question - some people do care that the owner lives on site. So I answered "Yes, we do, but the best way to reach us is by cell phone.

Do you have a pet? I think you do. So the WE is not a lie.
See how it works. So on your blogging say "Happy first day of summer to our guests!" use OUR vs MY. and bobsyeruncle in that aspect.