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Aging - some humour for today

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JBloggs

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(The waiting in line at Disneyworld thread made me think of this)
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 'I'm wondering then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.'
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. 'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and
live with you and your wife....'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
<><><><><><><><><>
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
<><><><><><><><><>
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down..
---------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
The first old guy says to the second guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'
The second old guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'
The first old guy says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her.. What does she look like?'
' The second old guy says, 'Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours.'
 

Proud Texan

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A guy says, "I'm so old that I forgot how old I am." An old woman says, "I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over." The man does this. The woman says, "You're seventy four." The man says, "How can you tell?" The woman says, "You told me yesterday."
 

YellowSocks

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One day the hearing in Ethel's right ear went completely out so she went to see her doctor. He looked in her ear and yelled, "Ethel! You have a suppository in your ear!"
"Hmmm," said Ethel. "I wonder where I put my hearing aid?"
=)
Kk.
 

gillumhouse

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Two couples who were dear friends bought a house with 2 living quarters joined by a common entryway. They did this for their retirement so they could meet new people each morning.
 

Country Girl

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My family physician had this posted on his receptionist's window:
"Old age is a state of mind. Do not regret growing older; it is a privilege denied many".
When I was 25 and pregnant with my first child I thought that was interesting. Now, 24 years later, after losing enough family and friends, I think it's profound.
 

Proud Texan

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My family physician had this posted on his receptionist's window:
"Old age is a state of mind. Do not regret growing older; it is a privilege denied many".
When I was 25 and pregnant with my first child I thought that was interesting. Now, 24 years later, after losing enough family and friends, I think it's profound..
Country Girl said:
My family physician had this posted on his receptionist's window:
"Old age is a state of mind. Do not regret growing older; it is a privilege denied many".
When I was 25 and pregnant with my first child I thought that was interesting. Now, 24 years later, after losing enough family and friends, I think it's profound.
What's this? Profundity invading this thread?

 

gillumhouse

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DH was 69 today. It certainly beats the alternative. As decrepit as he is now (he still gets around on 2 crutches but he GETS around) looking down at the grass is much preferred to looking up at it. He got his requested chocolate pudding tonight (actually almost FORGOT the butter - kept it to minimum).
 

Country Girl

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My family physician had this posted on his receptionist's window:
"Old age is a state of mind. Do not regret growing older; it is a privilege denied many".
When I was 25 and pregnant with my first child I thought that was interesting. Now, 24 years later, after losing enough family and friends, I think it's profound..
Country Girl said:
My family physician had this posted on his receptionist's window:
"Old age is a state of mind. Do not regret growing older; it is a privilege denied many".
When I was 25 and pregnant with my first child I thought that was interesting. Now, 24 years later, after losing enough family and friends, I think it's profound.
What's this? Profundity invading this thread?

.
Proud Texan said:
Country Girl said:
My family physician had this posted on his receptionist's window:
"Old age is a state of mind. Do not regret growing older; it is a privilege denied many".
When I was 25 and pregnant with my first child I thought that was interesting. Now, 24 years later, after losing enough family and friends, I think it's profound.
What's this? Profundity invading this thread?
From moi? Never!

 
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