Quantcast

Anonymity on Innspiring

INNspiring.com | Innkeeper Forum & Innkeeping Resources

Help Support INNspiring.com | Innkeeper Forum & Innkeeping Resources:

muirford

Administrator
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
2,491
Reaction score
11
The idea that some of us don't reveal our B&Bs in this forum seems to make some posters uncomfortable and question our motives for doing so. It has been suggested on the PAII forum that this anonymity loosens our tongues, sometimes to the point of rudeness. Rather than stewing in silence over what could be considered an insult, I thought I would share my reasons for being 'anonymous'.
I have a six-room B&B with pretty good occupancy, so I book over 1000 room-nights per year, meaning I meet 1500 to 2000 guests per year. I do get my fair share of PITAs, although after 7 years I don't get annoyed as much as I used to. Still - this forum is OPEN TO THE PUBLIC (unlike the PAII forum). Meaning any of those 10,000 people could find innspiring and read about themselves. Pshaw, you say - that's unlikely to happen! Yet, it has happened to one of the forum members when a group of us were all on another forum. So, I'm not making it easy for a guest to figure out who I am.
I have and would in general share my information privately with other innkeepers. I've been lucky enough to 'meet' several forum members in person or through emails, and consider them friends and colleagues. Still, other forum members have been sent threatening emails from innkeepers, received unwelcome phone calls, and one was threatened with physical violence after being falsely accused of posting a fraudulent TA review. By another innkeeper. Those things have not happened to me, but I don't feel the need to publicize my identity to any one who wanders on this site.
I personally haven't found rudeness, over the course of my 7 years of participating in this forum and the previous one, to be the sole domain of those who are anonymous. Not when this forum first started, and not now. Like any established work group, everyone here, newbie and old-timer, has their own personality with idiosyncracies not always obvious in an electronic media. There are some regular established posters on here with whom I disagree on almost every point of running a B&B. Live and let live.
 

Morticia

Administrator
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
17,281
Reaction score
147
Hey, I resemble a lot of those remarks!
Yes, I had a guest find the old forum and recognize herself in it. NOT pleasant. Neither was she when she was here but that's beside the point. Yes, I have received demeaning phone calls from innkeepers unhappy with the way they felt I treated them here. Altho I wasn't actually threatened with physical violence (just had to deal with the craziness) during that TA debacle, someone else was threatened. Yes, I've met some of the other folks on this forum, and not just the innkeepers.
No, I don't need to know who everyone is to get a great deal out of this forum. 90% of the time I don't even bother trying to figure out who anybody is. I've actually spoken with some innkeepers 'in real life' and not realized they were 'innmates' from the forum!
Have my feelings ever been hurt here? Darn tootin'. Do I care? Not usually. I'm here for the info and the camraderie. I can ignore anyone who bothers me too much and have done so.
 

EmptyNest

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
8,741
Reaction score
1
Well so much for anonymity:-(
I think we who do know one another personally should refrain from using our "Real" names and locations in postings as well.
Some could easily be outed with out much trouble.
 

Morticia

Administrator
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
17,281
Reaction score
147
Well so much for anonymity:-(
I think we who do know one another personally should refrain from using our "Real" names and locations in postings as well.
Some could easily be outed with out much trouble..
Jeanne uses her name in her signature line...we ALL know her name from that!
 

Penelope

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
1,716
Reaction score
0
Well so much for anonymity:-(
I think we who do know one another personally should refrain from using our "Real" names and locations in postings as well.
Some could easily be outed with out much trouble..
It's in HER own post. She signs her posts with her name in grey.
I'll change my post, though. Sorry :(
 

Penelope

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
1,716
Reaction score
0
Very well said. I admire you and the way you express yourself.
Edited to protect one of the O Wise Ones
 

EmptyNest

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
8,741
Reaction score
1
Well so much for anonymity:-(
I think we who do know one another personally should refrain from using our "Real" names and locations in postings as well.
Some could easily be outed with out much trouble..
It's in HER own post. She signs her posts with her name in grey.
I'll change my post, though. Sorry :(
.
OOOPS I APOLOGIZE... see shows you how well I read:-(
 

SweetiePie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
614
Reaction score
0
Diversity is the spice of life. How boring would it be if we all thought alike?
 

muirford

Administrator
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
2,491
Reaction score
11
Well so much for anonymity:-(
I think we who do know one another personally should refrain from using our "Real" names and locations in postings as well.
Some could easily be outed with out much trouble..
It's in HER own post. She signs her posts with her name in grey.
I'll change my post, though. Sorry :(
.
No apology necessary or need to change. I don't mind people knowing my first name, or calling me by it (obviously) - just don't need to give them the link to my B&B.
I can always use a super-secret-stealth identity with no signature if I want to be completely anonymous.
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,893
Reaction score
0
I hate having to defend everything we do, but apparently we have to. I am anon on this forum for the reasons stated above. Everyone knows who I am here, I do not HIDE from innkeepers, or forum members, at all.
I am good mates with most of you! I do however, on ocassion enjoy posting funny guest stories and do not wish to be sued or taken down some other way. I cannot do that with my B&B name thrown out there next to my post. It is called common sense! This forum is wide open on the internet. No one is hiding, we are just taking precautions.
I have had people follow me on twitter, they search, they find me. If I have posts associated with my B&B they can easily find that in google.
Of course for those who never open up, who never share guest stories (which is sad, because we all really enjoy those stories!!!) it is no big deal. As of late, with the criticism on this forum I don't think anyone wants to share anything personal every again. No one wants their personality, their way of doing business attacked.
I never understand the harshness of those calling everyone else harsh. It boggles the mind. This is a great group here - like in any family there is always an annoying twit, we all do what we do to get along.
I am one who had a wack job after me - I have two kids, I do not need wack jobs stalking me, thank you very much. It was from another open B&B forum and he was a psycho who portrayed himself as a non psycho for a while then began to slip and let his craziness show. Ain't that the way with the crazy ones...
Hang in there everyone, this too shall pass.
 

swirt

Forum founder. Former Owner.
Joined
May 17, 2008
Messages
3,210
Reaction score
0
Well said Muirford. Thank you for taking the time to spell it out so clearly.
There are many here who when they first arrived (either here or on the old forum) were very happy to be "out in the open" and then after participating a while realized it was hard to undo that without starting over, and had to start over.
The only concerns I usually have related to anonimity are when a vendor comes in and tries to represent their product but not as a vendor. Thankfully such people usually stick out like a sore thumb and are easy to spot and reveal.
 

gillumhouse

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Supporting Member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
15,520
Reaction score
84
As has been said, we are like an extended family here. And who has not ever been royally ticked off at a sibling - onlies exempt? I don't know about anyone else but I usually just fume, take a day off and come back for more. Just as I did with my family.
Believe it or not - I know it is hard to believe, but I am NOT ALWAYS right! Astonishing isn't it! I do try to be respectful in my replies and as long as we are respectful in our terminology all will be well. As in the famous apology - I am sorry you are so ugly......
What makes this Forum so popular is the diverse ideas and opinions and the often funny replies - sometimes unintentional such as the time I meant to say sign and actually typed sin - and before anyone gets their shorts in a knot, they should give pause to the fact that that reply may be tongue in cheek.
 

GeorgiaGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2008
Messages
808
Reaction score
0
As I'm sitting here reading this thread I am wondering what I missed?? I really appreciate everyone's honesty in their replies no matter if they are anonymous or not! If I was an Innkeeper I probably wouldn't want to be open with my Inn's name either.
 

happykeeper

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2008
Messages
1,758
Reaction score
0
We jumped in openly so that we didn't have to worry about what we say and to keep us from saying things we shouldn't.
Those are just our reasons.
I haven't given it much thought regarding what someone else might choose, but I can say that having a mix is very helpful. I learn a lot from the candid cut to chase comments and can't imagine anyone on the forum sounding rude.

Mostly I wish I could be more diplomatic or sound a little less like I know it all, and being "the guys in Hawaii" encourages me to temper my behavior.
 

YellowSocks

Well-known member
Supporting Member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
2,179
Reaction score
13
I was explaining to someone about the necessity of being cautious with what I post on the forum because I have chosen not to be anonymous. They were incredulous... why on earth would anyone read an innkeeping forum if they are not innkeepers? But as I explained to them, we're only a Google search away. One day someone with some spare time pops online and does some odd search and there we are, with lots of interesting details about their behavior when they stayed here.
I personally enjoy the mix of anon and not. (Of course, as a long-time regular I know who many of us are.) But I enjoy the perspective of all members, both new and old, ones that I know and those that I don't, as well.
When I saw the title of this thread I thought it was about the importance of respecting others' anonymity. I am not the only member who knows the identities of many of the anonymous folk here, and it's easy (as illustrated above) to let something slip now and then. But I have appreciated the willingness of members to respect the anonymity of others, to edit posts as necessary, and to provide a "safe" place for venting and sharing "in the open" yet privately.
Personally, I think it's the best of both worlds.
=)
Kk.
 

EmptyNest

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
8,741
Reaction score
1
I was explaining to someone about the necessity of being cautious with what I post on the forum because I have chosen not to be anonymous. They were incredulous... why on earth would anyone read an innkeeping forum if they are not innkeepers? But as I explained to them, we're only a Google search away. One day someone with some spare time pops online and does some odd search and there we are, with lots of interesting details about their behavior when they stayed here.
I personally enjoy the mix of anon and not. (Of course, as a long-time regular I know who many of us are.) But I enjoy the perspective of all members, both new and old, ones that I know and those that I don't, as well.
When I saw the title of this thread I thought it was about the importance of respecting others' anonymity. I am not the only member who knows the identities of many of the anonymous folk here, and it's easy (as illustrated above) to let something slip now and then. But I have appreciated the willingness of members to respect the anonymity of others, to edit posts as necessary, and to provide a "safe" place for venting and sharing "in the open" yet privately.
Personally, I think it's the best of both worlds.
=)
Kk..
Others who might drop in here who may be guests "aspiring" to be innkeepers. So you just never know who shows up here.
I always told folks when I did Internet training..."anything you put on line is like posting a sign at the office water cooler for any and all to read"...so compose and post emails/messages carefully" You just never know. And... how many of you have ever clicked SEND...when you didn't mean to:-(
 

NW BB

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2009
Messages
309
Reaction score
0
I think this forum is a breath of fresh air. If it's anonimity that helps, then I'm all for it! My experience on the "other forum" that is only for paying members is that folks who have a differing opinion often don't express it on the forum. A few times I have chimed into a conversation and had a differing opinion, and instead of members posting on the board that they agreed with me, I would instead get private e-mails from them in support of my position. They were reluctant to post their opinion because everyone knew who they were.
After an incident that occurred a little over a month ago on this forum, I removed all identifying information about myself. A lot of members here know who and where I am, but in the future I don't want to be threatened again with a lawsuit by someone who doesn't like my opinion.
Keep the topics and different opinions flowing, it's just personal slams we should all be careful to stay away from.
 

Country Girl

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
1,244
Reaction score
1
I just joined this forum a few months ago. It is the only forum I've ever been on so this is still somewhat new to me. Some of you know where I am but most don't and vice versa. Personally, I have found that in a world that is so politically correct, it is so nice to have a place to vent without fear of reprisals or judgment. Most people have no idea what it is like to live and work in the same environment everyday while having one stranger after another come through their door. You folks do know. This has been a true godsend for me. I've learned something new every single time I've been on this site. And I like hearing the varying opinions everyone shares. I don't mind the strong disagreements (though I never understand it when someone is rude) and I think we all learn from each other. Anonymity gives me a "silent" voice that I desperately need when things are horrible and when they are wonderful.
 

Copperhead

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 24, 2008
Messages
5,969
Reaction score
0
I also choose to be incongnito, was not on the other forum but did not post often anyway. I rarely state anything that would offen guests, but you never know when I may let my guard down and say something about a guest. I usually let things roll off my back but sometimes I need a day or to to really get over it.
I like GH's family analogy. The regulars on this forum are like a family and we tend to tell it like it is, families very rarely sugar coat anything that they feel needs to be said. Sometimes it is said to boldly for some but we all have different personalities and ways to express ourselves. It is a good idea to get a feel for someone before jumping to the conclusion that they are being rude. It may just be their way. And if someone can not deal with that personalitiy, there is always the Ignore user button, then you do not need to be bothered. There will always be people that we would rather NOT be around, Swit created the online version of avoiding someone.
I hope that the PAII posters will understand our reasonings for our individual actions. There are a number of b&b forums that are private and they can say what they want because no one will read it except them, they are usually bound to a privacy agreement too. That is fine - I have no problems with that, and they should have no problems with this forum. If they do not want to be a member of this group because of this option, that is fine also... but I hope we never change this format.
 

JBloggs

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
Oct 7, 2008
Messages
17,743
Reaction score
0
I think this forum is a breath of fresh air. If it's anonimity that helps, then I'm all for it! My experience on the "other forum" that is only for paying members is that folks who have a differing opinion often don't express it on the forum. A few times I have chimed into a conversation and had a differing opinion, and instead of members posting on the board that they agreed with me, I would instead get private e-mails from them in support of my position. They were reluctant to post their opinion because everyone knew who they were.
After an incident that occurred a little over a month ago on this forum, I removed all identifying information about myself. A lot of members here know who and where I am, but in the future I don't want to be threatened again with a lawsuit by someone who doesn't like my opinion.
Keep the topics and different opinions flowing, it's just personal slams we should all be careful to stay away from..
NW BB said:
I think this forum is a breath of fresh air. If it's anonimity that helps, then I'm all for it! My experience on the "other forum" that is only for paying members is that folks who have a differing opinion often don't express it on the forum. A few times I have chimed into a conversation and had a differing opinion, and instead of members posting on the board that they agreed with me, I would instead get private e-mails from them in support of my position. They were reluctant to post their opinion because everyone knew who they were.
After an incident that occurred a little over a month ago on this forum, I removed all identifying information about myself. A lot of members here know who and where I am, but in the future I don't want to be threatened again with a lawsuit by someone who doesn't like my opinion.
Keep the topics and different opinions flowing, it's just personal slams we should all be careful to stay away from.
NWBB Hmmmmm, you forgot something. (Avatar) line drawing if it is on your website or other materials. Or is that only pictured here?
Don't forget everyone some on this forum are genteel southerners, some Canadians ey and some from the BRONX! We all have different venaculars and way of speaking and add to that electronic medium and BOOM! A bomb has gone off.
 
Top