Boor at the table

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agoodman

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I have a very "boorish guest; they are repeaters and the wife is very nice but the husband is a boor, an ex preacher probably in his late 60's early 70's.
He hogs every conversation, I had a Chinese guest at the table and he probed her, I had a black guest at the table and he literally ignored her after he made an inappropriate comment. They have a B&B.com GC and had asked for a discount, I (nicely) said sorry no, I have to pay a hefty comm on that so it's one or the other
They asked me to do a $10 dinner (I said I would do a light soup/salad or similar) but last night they had a full dinner for same price because I was serving others. I told them don't mention what a bargain you are getting over dinner please. This morning at the table they mentioned how they did not like to stay anywhere else (sigh) but then he mentioned "but I wish you would give us a discount". I think he saw the look on my face
when I had to state that sadly I am not a charity, that I was already paying a 30% comm on his gift card .... it takes a lot for me to get to that stage .. one more night ... one more night ....
 

Copperhead

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One word in your first sentance and I knew what was coming. Sorry but the clergy are typically this way as they are 'given' things for so many years for being men of the cloth.
 

Pollyanna

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One word in your first sentance and I knew what was coming. Sorry but the clergy are typically this way as they are 'given' things for so many years for being men of the cloth..
Now now, boors and narcissists exist in every profession and religion. My husband is a retired pastor and half our guests are retired or active pastors or missionaries and they are, for the most part, the most delightful, interesting and interested, guests. There is lively conversation at the table and plenty of laughter.
The biggest boors I've ever had here were from a New Age conference, and that's ALL they could talk about it, one upping each other throughout the entire breakfast with each one's esoteric experiences. Not one of them seemed to listen to the other. And the worst guest I've ever booked was a director of a Buddhist retreat center.
And as for being "given" things? Can't relate. But I do know what my husband gave. 24 hours / 7 days a week on call, low salary, lots of sacrifice, prayer and practical help. He makes friends wherever he goes, is funny and fun, and definitely not boring.
I'm not really offended, just think its sad that such a stereotype exists. Not sure if it's derived from media portrayals or real people.
 

Don Draper

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One word in your first sentance and I knew what was coming. Sorry but the clergy are typically this way as they are 'given' things for so many years for being men of the cloth..
Now now, boors and narcissists exist in every profession and religion. My husband is a retired pastor and half our guests are retired or active pastors or missionaries and they are, for the most part, the most delightful, interesting and interested, guests. There is lively conversation at the table and plenty of laughter.
The biggest boors I've ever had here were from a New Age conference, and that's ALL they could talk about it, one upping each other throughout the entire breakfast with each one's esoteric experiences. Not one of them seemed to listen to the other. And the worst guest I've ever booked was a director of a Buddhist retreat center.
And as for being "given" things? Can't relate. But I do know what my husband gave. 24 hours / 7 days a week on call, low salary, lots of sacrifice, prayer and practical help. He makes friends wherever he goes, is funny and fun, and definitely not boring.
I'm not really offended, just think its sad that such a stereotype exists. Not sure if it's derived from media portrayals or real people.
.
I don't think it really IS a stereotype (that I knew of anyway), which is why it has been such a shock to us when a pastor or minister gets here and acts that way, which is unfortunately what we've experienced. Looking for any type of discount, usually staying on a gift certificate to begin with, and just completely monopolizing the entire breakfast table. It's happened about 4 times in 4.5 years. The worst ever were the married husband and wife pastors...OY! They just wouldn't stop talking...about themselves, their travels, their work. It was uncomfortable.
 

Alibi Ike

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One word in your first sentance and I knew what was coming. Sorry but the clergy are typically this way as they are 'given' things for so many years for being men of the cloth..
Now now, boors and narcissists exist in every profession and religion. My husband is a retired pastor and half our guests are retired or active pastors or missionaries and they are, for the most part, the most delightful, interesting and interested, guests. There is lively conversation at the table and plenty of laughter.
The biggest boors I've ever had here were from a New Age conference, and that's ALL they could talk about it, one upping each other throughout the entire breakfast with each one's esoteric experiences. Not one of them seemed to listen to the other. And the worst guest I've ever booked was a director of a Buddhist retreat center.
And as for being "given" things? Can't relate. But I do know what my husband gave. 24 hours / 7 days a week on call, low salary, lots of sacrifice, prayer and practical help. He makes friends wherever he goes, is funny and fun, and definitely not boring.
I'm not really offended, just think its sad that such a stereotype exists. Not sure if it's derived from media portrayals or real people.
.
I don't think it really IS a stereotype (that I knew of anyway), which is why it has been such a shock to us when a pastor or minister gets here and acts that way, which is unfortunately what we've experienced. Looking for any type of discount, usually staying on a gift certificate to begin with, and just completely monopolizing the entire breakfast table. It's happened about 4 times in 4.5 years. The worst ever were the married husband and wife pastors...OY! They just wouldn't stop talking...about themselves, their travels, their work. It was uncomfortable.
.
Our experience has mostly been that we didn't know they were 'clergy' unless they told us. Mostly very quiet. One 'couple' shocked me when they came for breakfast because they both had on the Roman Catholic collars and it wasn't until then that I realized they weren't a 'couple' but were priests!
We have had the stentorious, tho. Monopolizing everything, knowing everything, can't beat them at anything. They find themselves quickly alone.
 

JBloggs

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The Athiests are always the worst here.
(Just kidding. I would never highlight any religion or group or affiliation and finger point, I think this forum actually prohibits speaking about religion according to the forum rules and offending others here.) All are welcome, no matter what belief system.
 

gillumhouse

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One word in your first sentance and I knew what was coming. Sorry but the clergy are typically this way as they are 'given' things for so many years for being men of the cloth..
Now now, boors and narcissists exist in every profession and religion. My husband is a retired pastor and half our guests are retired or active pastors or missionaries and they are, for the most part, the most delightful, interesting and interested, guests. There is lively conversation at the table and plenty of laughter.
The biggest boors I've ever had here were from a New Age conference, and that's ALL they could talk about it, one upping each other throughout the entire breakfast with each one's esoteric experiences. Not one of them seemed to listen to the other. And the worst guest I've ever booked was a director of a Buddhist retreat center.
And as for being "given" things? Can't relate. But I do know what my husband gave. 24 hours / 7 days a week on call, low salary, lots of sacrifice, prayer and practical help. He makes friends wherever he goes, is funny and fun, and definitely not boring.
I'm not really offended, just think its sad that such a stereotype exists. Not sure if it's derived from media portrayals or real people.
.
My favorite preacher story is the one that the pastor goes to the local pet store and orders 200 mice and 300 cockroaches. When asked why such an unusual order, the pastor replied, we are leaving for our next assignment and the President of the Ladies Parsonage Committee informed my wife that she expects to find the parsonage in the same condition it was in when we arrived!
I guess most congregations expect "the Lord will provide".
 

Joey Camb

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My worst are the ones that assume what ever they are you are to and that you agree with them on whatever they happen to be banging on about at the time which is usually really rude ie so and so group should be banned etc. The people who make me the most cross are the ones who bang on about how charitable/amazing etc they are.
 

Aussie Innkeeper

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We were in large church ministry for almost 20 years. Sundays are still busy, but much different than they used to be. I used to get to meet a lot of new people, but they were pretty much just like me. Now, we get to meet people from all different walks of life (even occasionally those 'hotel' types
). Met our first Hasidic Jewish couple a few years ago. Wouldn't have got to meet those folks otherwise.
Boorish guests?? Yep, we've had those, too. You sort of wonder why they bring themselves to a B&B if it's so obvious that they don't have a clue how to act.
 

Alibi Ike

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My worst are the ones that assume what ever they are you are to and that you agree with them on whatever they happen to be banging on about at the time which is usually really rude ie so and so group should be banned etc. The people who make me the most cross are the ones who bang on about how charitable/amazing etc they are..
The people who make me the most cross are the ones who bang on about how charitable/amazing etc they are.
Or the ones telling you how easy they are to please as they grimace again and again when you tell them you don't have celery juice, guava jelly or rice milk.
 

agoodman

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Well they bought TWO I Love Inns books with the free night certs and they plan on coming back and using them ...........here
YAY?
 

Joey Camb

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My worst are the ones that assume what ever they are you are to and that you agree with them on whatever they happen to be banging on about at the time which is usually really rude ie so and so group should be banned etc. The people who make me the most cross are the ones who bang on about how charitable/amazing etc they are..
The people who make me the most cross are the ones who bang on about how charitable/amazing etc they are.
Or the ones telling you how easy they are to please as they grimace again and again when you tell them you don't have celery juice, guava jelly or rice milk.
.
exactly and they usually punctuate this with gosh you don't have unicorn milk? **** place did Oh well never mind (sigh) It doesn't really matter (sigh)
 

Alibi Ike

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My worst are the ones that assume what ever they are you are to and that you agree with them on whatever they happen to be banging on about at the time which is usually really rude ie so and so group should be banned etc. The people who make me the most cross are the ones who bang on about how charitable/amazing etc they are..
The people who make me the most cross are the ones who bang on about how charitable/amazing etc they are.
Or the ones telling you how easy they are to please as they grimace again and again when you tell them you don't have celery juice, guava jelly or rice milk.
.
exactly and they usually punctuate this with gosh you don't have unicorn milk? **** place did Oh well never mind (sigh) It doesn't really matter (sigh)
.
exactly and they usually punctuate this with gosh you don't have unicorn milk? **** place did Oh well never mind (sigh) It doesn't really matter (sigh)
Wow, tough crowd you get! Unicorn milk!
 

TinaC

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What you might try next time this couple books is to break up your tables into two tops for couples or four tops for larger parties and place their names at the settings. This way couple will be sitting by themselves, talking to each other rather than to the whole group.
 

agoodman

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Tina thanks but this man takes over the ROOM!! and since I have one big table for 6-8, and the 2 little ones for overflow ....if there are less than 6 and I split them up it looks like "apartheid!!"
 

TinaC

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How about having everyone else come down an hour earlier and serve the other an hour later or do in reverse. lol
I know, I'm some help but I do feel for you. If anything, this all will make me strive to be a much better guest next time I go inn-ing.
P.S. - When I visit a fave inn, I bring innkeepers a host gift.
 

TinaC

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One word in your first sentance and I knew what was coming. Sorry but the clergy are typically this way as they are 'given' things for so many years for being men of the cloth..
Or tell him you had a drawing and he won 1st prize: Innkeeper For A Day! It starts with making breakfast (special orders don't upset us) dishes, then it moves on to linens and then cleaning rooms. Or cleaning rooms then linen. He can pick. Meantime, there's checking in, out, handling complaints, sweeping front and back porch. Don't forget to smile! Phone inquiries, the books, Marketing...
 
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