Breakfast Etiquette: Praying at the table.

[happyjacks]

You don't discuss politics or religion at your BnB? Really? People talk about that and more here all the time, especially when they encounter people from all different walks of life. More power to them. Our Brits who are tight lipped on most issues bring up politics immediately upon sitting down.
I, however do not join in, as it is not my place, same reason I do not put placards for political parties in my yard. If I stayed at a B&B with a cross or a statuary of Mary in their yard it would not worry me. If they took my hand to pray, like mentioned HAS HAPPENED TO ME I would not like it.
You started by saying: There is one practice that makes us a little uncomfortable [for our guests] and that is the practice of saying a blessing at the breakfast table. You mentioned it has come to someone even taking hands, you did not say THIS was what bothered you but added it to the first comment and then several times interrupting an ongoing conversation. So which is it that bothers you? Someone saying a blessing or the latter or both?
If you do not want to attract people of faith put that on your website, that you are non religious, anti religious or whatever you would like it to be coined.

Just like that place - I can't recall where it was that had policies "Married couples only" on her website. Not sure how that pans out in the real world, but she had it on there, I think it was in Georgia?.

It's not the praying I'm opposed to. It's the imposition of their religious beliefs on my other guests that I deem inappropriate. Pray all you want. Just don't force it on innocent bystanders.
I have never seen anything good from discussing religion or politics at the breakfast table. Most of my guests come here for peace and quiet. I will not have some zealot or bully at the table taking advantage of a captive audience and ruining the other guests' stay.
.

It's not the praying I'm opposed to. It's the imposition of their religious beliefs on my other guests that I deem inappropriate. Pray all you want. Just don't force it on innocent bystanders.

I'm with you on this one PT. We had a minister and his wife at breakfast with another younger couple. The young couple were probably half-way through their brekkie when the rev & wife came in for theirs. When the rev said his prayer, it was neither quiet nor brief.
The other guests were clearly uncomfortable and didn't know if they should stop eating or ignore it. We have one big table for guests, not separate tables (but I can see why some travellers prefer them!).
Other pray-ers we've had have been with groups, where they're all participating, so no problem. Or people who just pause and close their eyes and say a silent thanks.

 

[Proud Texan]

You don't discuss politics or religion at your BnB? Really? People talk about that and more here all the time, especially when they encounter people from all different walks of life. More power to them. Our Brits who are tight lipped on most issues bring up politics immediately upon sitting down.
I, however do not join in, as it is not my place, same reason I do not put placards for political parties in my yard. If I stayed at a B&B with a cross or a statuary of Mary in their yard it would not worry me. If they took my hand to pray, like mentioned HAS HAPPENED TO ME I would not like it.
You started by saying: There is one practice that makes us a little uncomfortable [for our guests] and that is the practice of saying a blessing at the breakfast table. You mentioned it has come to someone even taking hands, you did not say THIS was what bothered you but added it to the first comment and then several times interrupting an ongoing conversation. So which is it that bothers you? Someone saying a blessing or the latter or both?
If you do not want to attract people of faith put that on your website, that you are non religious, anti religious or whatever you would like it to be coined.

Just like that place - I can't recall where it was that had policies "Married couples only" on her website. Not sure how that pans out in the real world, but she had it on there, I think it was in Georgia?.

It's not the praying I'm opposed to. It's the imposition of their religious beliefs on my other guests that I deem inappropriate. Pray all you want. Just don't force it on innocent bystanders.
I have never seen anything good from discussing religion or politics at the breakfast table. Most of my guests come here for peace and quiet. I will not have some zealot or bully at the table taking advantage of a captive audience and ruining the other guests' stay.
.

It's not the praying I'm opposed to. It's the imposition of their religious beliefs on my other guests that I deem inappropriate. Pray all you want. Just don't force it on innocent bystanders.

I'm with you on this one PT. We had a minister and his wife at breakfast with another younger couple. The young couple were probably half-way through their brekkie when the rev & wife came in for theirs. When the rev said his prayer, it was neither quiet nor brief.
The other guests were clearly uncomfortable and didn't know if they should stop eating or ignore it. We have one big table for guests, not separate tables (but I can see why some travellers prefer them!).
Other pray-ers we've had have been with groups, where they're all participating, so no problem. Or people who just pause and close their eyes and say a silent thanks.
.

It's not the praying I'm opposed to. It's the imposition of their religious beliefs on my other guests that I deem inappropriate. Pray all you want. Just don't force it on innocent bystanders.

I'm with you on this one PT. We had a minister and his wife at breakfast with another younger couple. The young couple were probably half-way through their brekkie when the rev & wife came in for theirs. When the rev said his prayer, it was neither quiet nor brief.
The other guests were clearly uncomfortable and didn't know if they should stop eating or ignore it. We have one big table for guests, not separate tables (but I can see why some travellers prefer them!).
Other pray-ers we've had have been with groups, where they're all participating, so no problem. Or people who just pause and close their eyes and say a silent thanks.

Thank You!

 

[egoodell]

I don't know what you can do about it but I don't like it and would not like it if I were eating breakfast. I feel that is forcing your beliefs on others. Truly religious people will sit down and pray before dining in a very quiet and private way so that nobody else will really notice - I've seen it done and quite liked the way they did it.
Riki

 

[YellowSocks]

I'm with HappyJacks, only the reverend hasn't come here yet. All of our pray-ers have either been quick and silent, or (more often) all four rooms are here for the same religious seminar and they happily pray together (since breakfast starts at the same time for all of them), sometimes even doing another prayer at the end for some issue they discussed over breakfast.
But if the reverend came in while someone else was in the middle of their breakfast, and was long and strong, I would not be pleased. We pray before we eat in our family, but we would never want to impose that on someone else. If we were the ones coming in half-way, we'd probably have one of the ds5x2 do it... they're short and sweet, and very cute ["Thank you God for all these blessings, Amen!"] and unlikely to offend others at the table.
But the issue isn't us, or when we have a houseful of guests that all pray.... it's (as HJ put it), the Reverend who is "neither quiet nor brief." As I haven't had it happen yet, I can only guess...
If they were a one night stay I'd probably say nothing and hope the other couple wasn't overly offended.
But if they were a multi-night stay then I'd probably either a) try to steer them to an earlier (or significantly later) breakfast than the other guests, or b) take them aside and discuss it... although I would hate to have to do that, so probably back to A. Or maybe discuss it with the other guests and offer them breakfast in their room.
Didn't help much, did I?
=)
Kk.

 

[gillumhouse]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation

 

[muirford]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation.

Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.

Absolutely no one here has said they have even a slight problem with anyone going to church or observing any religious custom. Christian or otherwise. It's quite a stretch to imply that. We do, however, care that people are comfortable in our inns - hence the discussion about what to do if someone makes your guests uncomfortable with their assertion of their religion (or politics, or whatever). I expect we would have the same problem if a guest interrupted breakfast to pray to Mecca, or burnt sage in the dining room as a Wiccan cleansing ritual. Let's stick to that topic.

 

[SweetiePie]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation.

I have to agree with GH about the moral decay in our country, but I think what we're really talking about here are the evangelists. No one has a problem with those who are short, quiet and private. It's those who feel it is their mission to save the world singlehandedly. I've had those who give "the speech" before they leave or surepticiously leave tracts in the room or in public reading material. I think that is what we are really addressing here.

 

[Proud Texan]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation.

When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.

No one is saying that it's wrong to have religion or to go to church. Just have a modicum of respect for those who don't. This is America and it's filled with all races and creeds.
When you were a kid it was alright for blacks NOT to be allowed in a white church. When you were a kid it was alright to hate gays and hippies and anyone who was not a WASP. When you were a kid women had no say over their own bodies. The list goes on, but you get the idea. The world has changed, and I hope the Church has changed with it.
The world, today, I hope is a little more open and tolerant to the differences of people. But with that tolerance comes respect, responsibility, civility and understanding.

 

[gillumhouse]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation.

I have to agree with GH about the moral decay in our country, but I think what we're really talking about here are the evangelists. No one has a problem with those who are short, quiet and private. It's those who feel it is their mission to save the world singlehandedly. I've had those who give "the speech" before they leave or surepticiously leave tracts in the room or in public reading material. I think that is what we are really addressing here.
.

Thanks SP, I was commenting on things in general not on this particular thread or anyone on this thread.
There have been rights and wrongs throughout the centuries that have been corrected in the course of time. But why is it that anyone who says they have a belief or actually live as they believe are ridiculed or labeled extremists or put down as being inconsiderate and wrong to voice it, no matter how quietly they voice it. I already stated that I am not in favor of receiving the sermon any time other than Sunday between 10:30 and Noon. And I would feel sorry for anyone who felt "uncomfortable" because someone bowed their head to say grace. So have at me, I will not reply further.

 

[Copperhead]

I'm with HappyJacks, only the reverend hasn't come here yet. All of our pray-ers have either been quick and silent, or (more often) all four rooms are here for the same religious seminar and they happily pray together (since breakfast starts at the same time for all of them), sometimes even doing another prayer at the end for some issue they discussed over breakfast.
But if the reverend came in while someone else was in the middle of their breakfast, and was long and strong, I would not be pleased. We pray before we eat in our family, but we would never want to impose that on someone else. If we were the ones coming in half-way, we'd probably have one of the ds5x2 do it... they're short and sweet, and very cute ["Thank you God for all these blessings, Amen!"] and unlikely to offend others at the table.
But the issue isn't us, or when we have a houseful of guests that all pray.... it's (as HJ put it), the Reverend who is "neither quiet nor brief." As I haven't had it happen yet, I can only guess...
If they were a one night stay I'd probably say nothing and hope the other couple wasn't overly offended.
But if they were a multi-night stay then I'd probably either a) try to steer them to an earlier (or significantly later) breakfast than the other guests, or b) take them aside and discuss it... although I would hate to have to do that, so probably back to A. Or maybe discuss it with the other guests and offer them breakfast in their room.
Didn't help much, did I?
=)
Kk..

If they were a one night stay I'd probably say nothing and hope the other couple wasn't overly offended.
But if they were a multi-night stay then I'd probably either a) try to steer them to an earlier (or significantly later) breakfast than the other guests, or b) take them aside and discuss it... although I would hate to have to do that, so probably back to A. Or maybe discuss it with the other guests and offer them breakfast in their room.

GH has a point.. but I do wonder what would happen if the next morning a Hindu couple intruded in their breakfast with a Hindu prayer and expected everyone to participate...(or substitue any other religion)
That is why I guess pulling them aside may be the way to go if they are the type that forceably involves others. The quiet, simple couple prayer can easily be tolerated I would think by anyone. Gee, I hope I never have to be faced with this.

 

[Willowpondgj]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation.

When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.

No one is saying that it's wrong to have religion or to go to church. Just have a modicum of respect for those who don't. This is America and it's filled with all races and creeds.
When you were a kid it was alright for blacks NOT to be allowed in a white church. When you were a kid it was alright to hate gays and hippies and anyone who was not a WASP. When you were a kid women had no say over their own bodies. The list goes on, but you get the idea. The world has changed, and I hope the Church has changed with it.
The world, today, I hope is a little more open and tolerant to the differences of people. But with that tolerance comes respect, responsibility, civility and understanding.
.

Amen.

 

[user 26]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation.

When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.

No one is saying that it's wrong to have religion or to go to church. Just have a modicum of respect for those who don't. This is America and it's filled with all races and creeds.
When you were a kid it was alright for blacks NOT to be allowed in a white church. When you were a kid it was alright to hate gays and hippies and anyone who was not a WASP. When you were a kid women had no say over their own bodies. The list goes on, but you get the idea. The world has changed, and I hope the Church has changed with it.
The world, today, I hope is a little more open and tolerant to the differences of people. But with that tolerance comes respect, responsibility, civility and understanding.
.

please, let's not debate the merits of prayer and the place of religion and the tolerance (and intolerance) for religious expression in the u.s. ((i don't know about these issues in other countries)). i am not at all surprised by kathleen's post ~ as most of us know she is a strong advocate of prayer.
i would be concerned if my guests were actually offended by someone praying.
that being said, if some guests ask others to join hands and pray with them, the other guests should feel comfortable respectfully declining to do so.
not sure how to wind this up, really.

 

[Proud Texan]

Playing Devil's Advocate here. I have NEVER been a fan of the loud and long, save it for Sunday Service, but the thing that bothers me is that it is uncomfortable, not considerate, not nice, not appreciated, etc to have any display of Christianity or belief in GOD or thanking GOD.... I amazes me at what a 180 degree turn this Country has taken in such a short time. When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.
Seeing what has happen to the morals and culture in the last 40 years, I think I am glad I am old and will not see it all that much longer.
I am not saying this as a castigation, slam, or disapproval of anyone. Just making a statement/observation.

When I was a kid, it did not matter WHAT church you went to - but there was something wrong if you did not GO to church. Now it seems that there is an attitude of there is something wrong with you if you DO GO to church.

No one is saying that it's wrong to have religion or to go to church. Just have a modicum of respect for those who don't. This is America and it's filled with all races and creeds.
When you were a kid it was alright for blacks NOT to be allowed in a white church. When you were a kid it was alright to hate gays and hippies and anyone who was not a WASP. When you were a kid women had no say over their own bodies. The list goes on, but you get the idea. The world has changed, and I hope the Church has changed with it.
The world, today, I hope is a little more open and tolerant to the differences of people. But with that tolerance comes respect, responsibility, civility and understanding.
.

please, let's not debate the merits of prayer and the place of religion and the tolerance (and intolerance) for religious expression in the u.s. ((i don't know about these issues in other countries)). i am not at all surprised by kathleen's post ~ as most of us know she is a strong advocate of prayer.
i would be concerned if my guests were actually offended by someone praying.
that being said, if some guests ask others to join hands and pray with them, the other guests should feel comfortable respectfully declining to do so.
not sure how to wind this up, really.
.

please, let's not debate the merits of prayer and the place of religion and the tolerance (and intolerance) for religious expression in the u.s. ((i don't know about these issues in other countries)). i am not at all surprised by kathleen's post ~ as most of us know she is a strong advocate of prayer.
i would be concerned if my guests were actually offended by someone praying.
that being said, if some guests ask others to join hands and pray with them, the other guests should feel comfortable respectfully declining to do so.
not sure how to wind this up, really.

It would help if everyone would stay on topic. There was no debate until it was started by you know who.

 

[ginocat]

In 17 years I've seen just about everything. Guests are adults and can handle things themselves. I've had people pray. I don't like it but I'm a big girl. I've been at places where guests have prayed. I sit quietly and let them do their thing. Basically I'm non-religious. I will not interfere unless someone is going to have a fistfight. LOL!!! Today I had a staunch republican who is a big cheese military defense guy. Also at the table were Brits and Canadians. After Michael Jackson we (yes I join the guests for coffee when they've finished eating) talked politics involving all countries and especially the US. Health care, GM, Iran, WARS, welfare all was discussed. A great time was had by all!!. Every guest thanked me for "allowing" such a good conversation to go on including Mr. Big!!!
Yes, guests are adults and they can handle themselves - even praying if need be I suppose.