Comping Friends and Relatives

[Arks]

Surely this has come up here before, but I couldn't find anything in a search...
On another thread it was mentioned, "FYI Sept is the 50th Anniversary of The Andy Griffith Show in Mount Airy NC. We are an hour and half from there if anyone wants to stay with us..."
Not that anybody is offering free rooms in this case, but it brought to mind the likelihood of a dilemma for the B&B owner: friends and relatives wanting free or discounted rooms when the come for a visit. How do folks handle this? If you give discounts or free rooms, where do you draw the line?

 

[EmptyNest]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

 

[Morticia]

If you want to be legal in the eyes of the IRS, you do not allow relatives and friends to stay for free.

 

[JBloggs]

Believe it or not I have a guest here from Mt Airy this very minute for a couple days!
For me, it depends on the person, and that is not trying to be coy, but if a person wants to come out midweek and respect that we have a business to run it is a lot different to a 'Rel' who just doesn't get it and would be here on a busy weekend in the Fall when they want to take their vacation, vs working it out with the inn and its owners.
With other innkeepers we like to swap rooms, this is an unsaid rule amongst most of the forum innmates. It is one perk of having innmates here from all over. So typically when I offer, that is what the offer is all about, swapping room for room. If it makes anyone nervous we can swap gift certificates. I am not on a room for room pgrm, I would rather swap with those I know here on the forum.
So that is my offer, it still holds and in fact there are a couple innmates who need to come and stay with us.
Let's see how many have I met here now? At least half a dozen or more.

 

[egoodell]

Believe it or not I have a guest here from Mt Airy this very minute for a couple days!
For me, it depends on the person, and that is not trying to be coy, but if a person wants to come out midweek and respect that we have a business to run it is a lot different to a 'Rel' who just doesn't get it and would be here on a busy weekend in the Fall when they want to take their vacation, vs working it out with the inn and its owners.
With other innkeepers we like to swap rooms, this is an unsaid rule amongst most of the forum innmates. It is one perk of having innmates here from all over. So typically when I offer, that is what the offer is all about, swapping room for room. If it makes anyone nervous we can swap gift certificates. I am not on a room for room pgrm, I would rather swap with those I know here on the forum.
So that is my offer, it still holds and in fact there are a couple innmates who need to come and stay with us.
Let's see how many have I met here now? At least half a dozen or more.

.

With other innkeepers we like to swap rooms, this is an unsaid rule amongst most of the forum innmates. It is one perk of having innmates here from all over. So typically when I offer, that is what the offer is all about, swapping room for room. If it makes anyone nervous we can swap gift certificates. I am not on a room for room pgrm, I would rather swap with those I know here on the forum.
So that is my offer, it still holds and in fact there are a couple innmates who need to come and stay with us.
Let's see how many have I met here now? At least half a dozen or more.

Speaking of swapping - when are you guys and the girls coming to Charlottesville!!!!
RIki

 

[JBloggs]

Believe it or not I have a guest here from Mt Airy this very minute for a couple days!
For me, it depends on the person, and that is not trying to be coy, but if a person wants to come out midweek and respect that we have a business to run it is a lot different to a 'Rel' who just doesn't get it and would be here on a busy weekend in the Fall when they want to take their vacation, vs working it out with the inn and its owners.
With other innkeepers we like to swap rooms, this is an unsaid rule amongst most of the forum innmates. It is one perk of having innmates here from all over. So typically when I offer, that is what the offer is all about, swapping room for room. If it makes anyone nervous we can swap gift certificates. I am not on a room for room pgrm, I would rather swap with those I know here on the forum.
So that is my offer, it still holds and in fact there are a couple innmates who need to come and stay with us.
Let's see how many have I met here now? At least half a dozen or more.

.

With other innkeepers we like to swap rooms, this is an unsaid rule amongst most of the forum innmates. It is one perk of having innmates here from all over. So typically when I offer, that is what the offer is all about, swapping room for room. If it makes anyone nervous we can swap gift certificates. I am not on a room for room pgrm, I would rather swap with those I know here on the forum.
So that is my offer, it still holds and in fact there are a couple innmates who need to come and stay with us.
Let's see how many have I met here now? At least half a dozen or more.

Speaking of swapping - when are you guys and the girls coming to Charlottesville!!!!
RIki
.

Don't know! But we want to. I think I mentioned to another innmate maybe we can meet up at your place and the three of us forum lifers can go out! (If I forgot to mention I wanted to and go sidetracked).
You should shoot me, I have never been to your city, I know I know sickening isn't it! I am bad. I had guests stay near you this past week (at that Tree S I) and I am all talk, as I talk Monticello (and our Poplar Forest) all the time. Never enough time in the year...but I want to!!! I hear only great things.

 

[egoodell]

Believe it or not I have a guest here from Mt Airy this very minute for a couple days!
For me, it depends on the person, and that is not trying to be coy, but if a person wants to come out midweek and respect that we have a business to run it is a lot different to a 'Rel' who just doesn't get it and would be here on a busy weekend in the Fall when they want to take their vacation, vs working it out with the inn and its owners.
With other innkeepers we like to swap rooms, this is an unsaid rule amongst most of the forum innmates. It is one perk of having innmates here from all over. So typically when I offer, that is what the offer is all about, swapping room for room. If it makes anyone nervous we can swap gift certificates. I am not on a room for room pgrm, I would rather swap with those I know here on the forum.
So that is my offer, it still holds and in fact there are a couple innmates who need to come and stay with us.
Let's see how many have I met here now? At least half a dozen or more.

.

With other innkeepers we like to swap rooms, this is an unsaid rule amongst most of the forum innmates. It is one perk of having innmates here from all over. So typically when I offer, that is what the offer is all about, swapping room for room. If it makes anyone nervous we can swap gift certificates. I am not on a room for room pgrm, I would rather swap with those I know here on the forum.
So that is my offer, it still holds and in fact there are a couple innmates who need to come and stay with us.
Let's see how many have I met here now? At least half a dozen or more.

Speaking of swapping - when are you guys and the girls coming to Charlottesville!!!!
RIki
.

Don't know! But we want to. I think I mentioned to another innmate maybe we can meet up at your place and the three of us forum lifers can go out! (If I forgot to mention I wanted to and go sidetracked).
You should shoot me, I have never been to your city, I know I know sickening isn't it! I am bad. I had guests stay near you this past week (at that Tree S I) and I am all talk, as I talk Monticello (and our Poplar Forest) all the time. Never enough time in the year...but I want to!!! I hear only great things.
.

Don't know! But we want to. I think I mentioned to another innmate maybe we can meet up at your place and the three of us forum lifers can go out! (If I forgot to mention I wanted to and go sidetracked).

Sounds like a plan to me. We'll make Chris drive us on a wine tour. Even if you don't drink wine it's a prurdy drive.
RIki

 

[Arks]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!

 

[Morticia]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!
.

In this case, I think it was being pointed out that yes, we had discussed it and here it is (because you didn't find it). No mention was made of you then adding anything to that topic (which would come up under 'dredging up old threads'). You could always read an old topic and then start a new one that states 'I read the old one but I still have some questions...'
That covers everything. You read the old one, you didn't dredge it up again, you had something more to add.
Not really a 'damned if you do' situation if you approach it like that.
We quite often do drag some old chestnuts out again and again. But they are generally started up as 'I know we discussed this a million times, but here goes another one because I can't believe it's still happening!' Especially when we get into everyone's peak season and we're all dead on our feet and wishing the guests would just (fill in the blank).
Not dredging up the old thread, not pretending that it's a brand new topic, just needing to talk it out again.

 

[EmptyNest]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!
.

Yes it is an issue. and I don't know if anything can be done. A number of us have been here from the very start up and I guess we just often get tired of answering similar questions or seeing old stuff come up again...I know....I am one of the guilty ones

But there are just days..when I don't feel like typing in all my past replies again. I used to just say "we discussed it before"...search for it....SLAP SLAP my wrists....I quit doing that and sometimes just ignore because I am not in the mood to repeat it all again. So bear with us please

 

[Arks]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!
.

Yes it is an issue. and I don't know if anything can be done. A number of us have been here from the very start up and I guess we just often get tired of answering similar questions or seeing old stuff come up again...I know....I am one of the guilty ones

But there are just days..when I don't feel like typing in all my past replies again. I used to just say "we discussed it before"...search for it....SLAP SLAP my wrists....I quit doing that and sometimes just ignore because I am not in the mood to repeat it all again. So bear with us please
.

So bear with us please

'Twill be my pleasure. This a great and very helpful forum! Once I get my old building purchase completed (getting close to closing the deal...I think) I'm sure I'll a lot more questions!

 

[JBloggs]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!
.

Arkie (am I able to call you that? It is not meant to be derog that was a nickname my Grandpa said to use with his friends),
I actually LIKE new threads on these topics. I like new threads even on some of the same topics (with new titles to find them). Sometimes the old ones go through so many phases and side tracks that they are not good to dredge up again. They are pages and pages long and you lose track of what the heck anyone was referring to. I am in the minority though, I would rather a new thread as the old ones are soooooo dang hard to locate, I have issues with the search feature and me thinks it might be case sensitive.

 

[Arks]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!
.

Arkie (am I able to call you that? It is not meant to be derog that was a nickname my Grandpa said to use with his friends),
I actually LIKE new threads on these topics. I like new threads even on some of the same topics (with new titles to find them). Sometimes the old ones go through so many phases and side tracks that they are not good to dredge up again. They are pages and pages long and you lose track of what the heck anyone was referring to. I am in the minority though, I would rather a new thread as the old ones are soooooo dang hard to locate, I have issues with the search feature and me thinks it might be case sensitive.
.

Arkie (am I able to call you that? It is not meant to be derog that was a nickname my Grandpa said to use with his friends),

Arkie's OK (and OK is Okie)

I even occasionally run across people here whose first name is Arkie! Not my cup of tea, but there are certainly worse names going around these days!
People keep making up their own names and don't know how to spell them, so we wind up with kids who have to spend a lifetime telling people how to pronounce and spell their weird names! But I'll get off my soapbox now.

 

[Copperhead]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!
.

Arkie (am I able to call you that? It is not meant to be derog that was a nickname my Grandpa said to use with his friends),
I actually LIKE new threads on these topics. I like new threads even on some of the same topics (with new titles to find them). Sometimes the old ones go through so many phases and side tracks that they are not good to dredge up again. They are pages and pages long and you lose track of what the heck anyone was referring to. I am in the minority though, I would rather a new thread as the old ones are soooooo dang hard to locate, I have issues with the search feature and me thinks it might be case sensitive.
.

I don't mind a new tread on an old topic either. Usually everytime this has happened, new thoughts come out from new(er) members. Good to have fresh ideas on subjects covered before.
Just because a topic comes up whether it be once or a dozen times, it does not mean that anyone has to read or comment on it. If anyone is tired of commenting on a subject, just bow out and let others have at it. I'm just sayin'....

 

[Joey Camb]

I am lucky here in the UK it works on the principle of its my business and I can do what I like plus as a B&B it is your house as well what are you supposed to say to your friends I am not busy but you can't stay cos the IRS say so what a pile of rubbish.

 

[JBloggs]

I am lucky here in the UK it works on the principle of its my business and I can do what I like plus as a B&B it is your house as well what are you supposed to say to your friends I am not busy but you can't stay cos the IRS say so what a pile of rubbish..

I am lucky here in the UK it works on the principle of its my business and I can do what I like plus as a B&B it is your house as well what are you supposed to say to your friends I am not busy but you can't stay cos the IRS say so what a pile of rubbish.

Here in the states we have a difference of opinion and differences of operating styles as well, is there a law that states we must accept children? Some take this to the letter, some say "my place my rules" so it is all in the interpretation here.
I think the comment re the irs is valid as we have huge red flags if we 1) are a family business, and 2) live inside that business. But we can carry it to extremes, I was just explaining to my mother about the reno's we are doing to SELL but can never claim on our taxes. She assumes everything we do here is a write off on our taxes, she is so wrong.
There are people getting fined for giving champagne to guests and other hand it out willy nilly and even have cocktail hours. So it is regional and via interpretation.
I had a guest quiz me on the alcohol thing here, we state we are alcohol free but then she wondered why I have wine glasses for guest use? I had to explain that we cannot sell or serve alcohol, but guests can byo.

 

[Arks]

I am lucky here in the UK it works on the principle of its my business and I can do what I like plus as a B&B it is your house as well what are you supposed to say to your friends I am not busy but you can't stay cos the IRS say so what a pile of rubbish..

I am lucky here in the UK it works on the principle of its my business and I can do what I like plus as a B&B it is your house as well what are you supposed to say to your friends I am not busy but you can't stay cos the IRS say so what a pile of rubbish.

Here in the states we have a difference of opinion and differences of operating styles as well, is there a law that states we must accept children? Some take this to the letter, some say "my place my rules" so it is all in the interpretation here.
I think the comment re the irs is valid as we have huge red flags if we 1) are a family business, and 2) live inside that business. But we can carry it to extremes, I was just explaining to my mother about the reno's we are doing to SELL but can never claim on our taxes. She assumes everything we do here is a write off on our taxes, she is so wrong.
There are people getting fined for giving champagne to guests and other hand it out willy nilly and even have cocktail hours. So it is regional and via interpretation.
I had a guest quiz me on the alcohol thing here, we state we are alcohol free but then she wondered why I have wine glasses for guest use? I had to explain that we cannot sell or serve alcohol, but guests can byo.
.

I had a guest quiz me on the alcohol thing here, we state we are alcohol free but then she wondered why I have wine glasses for guest use? I had to explain that we cannot sell or serve alcohol, but guests can byo.

I'll have the same situation. I'm planning to put in a small "guest lounge" with a couple of stuffed chairs, a couple of bar stools, a flat screen TV, and a bar with glasses, ice maker, blender, etc. Everything a full bar needs except the alcohol. The guests will have to bring their own.

 

[wendydk]

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543.

Look here
https://www.innspiring.com/node/4543

Thanks for the link, catlady. I guess I was putting the wrong keywords in the search. I'll enjoy reading that old discussion in detail.
An interesting thing occurs to me...
Today I get directed to an old node for the answers to my questions (perfectly appropriate...thanks).
And just a couple of days ago I searched, found an old node on a topic of interest to me, made a comment on the old node, and got fussed at a bit for dredging up an old topic that had already been hashed over many times!
I'm not making any complaint, just pointing out a Catch 22 situation we often see on group forums. Newbies sometimes get reprimanded by regulars for creating a new topic rather than searching the archives for the hundreds of times the topic has been discussed before, but on forums I've also often seen newbies get in trouble for posting a question to an old thread that is long inactive.
One of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations!
.

Arkie (am I able to call you that? It is not meant to be derog that was a nickname my Grandpa said to use with his friends),
I actually LIKE new threads on these topics. I like new threads even on some of the same topics (with new titles to find them). Sometimes the old ones go through so many phases and side tracks that they are not good to dredge up again. They are pages and pages long and you lose track of what the heck anyone was referring to. I am in the minority though, I would rather a new thread as the old ones are soooooo dang hard to locate, I have issues with the search feature and me thinks it might be case sensitive.
.

I don't mind a new tread on an old topic either. Usually everytime this has happened, new thoughts come out from new(er) members. Good to have fresh ideas on subjects covered before.
Just because a topic comes up whether it be once or a dozen times, it does not mean that anyone has to read or comment on it. If anyone is tired of commenting on a subject, just bow out and let others have at it. I'm just sayin'....
.

Just because a topic comes up whether it be once or a dozen times, it does not mean that anyone has to read or comment on it. If anyone is tired of commenting on a subject, just bow out and let others have at it. I'm just sayin'....

Well said, JB!!