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birdwatcher

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The report is in that the consultants, who really did not know what he was doing and involved a third party (chamber director) which I think is into everything that will or may be done-not a good vibe there. Anyway, owner informed us that our event center that is next door will be closed all items will be sold in an estate sale and house will go to market ASAP-now get this owner still wants the person who is there to take events, we also know that the house will not sell quickly. The owner will be visiting first week in April to take care of the items and give us some info on this report. The Inn will not be sold neither will the Victorian garden (which we are caring for now since the gardner was not taking good care of it) for no extra charge and its not a small garden its a corner lot with 7 beds, walkways etc...
The owner as you all know from past postings micro-manages from accross the country and has had free reign to "let her mouth loose" (almost verbal abuse sometimes screaming and demeaning the person) to the employee that has been here the longest 4 years and I am aftraid that I will be the wipping post once this other employee leaves-my DH handles owner much better because of the "man" issue, but I will have to speak to owner too and I will not take what the owner has dished out for the 5 years that owner owned it (4-5 Innkeepers, 3-4 directors)-Im sure you all get this. We are earnestly looking for another Innkeeping position so that we don't end up with ulcers, or more likely me, cause everything that owner says I take personally and we know that leopards don't change their spots and the age of owner (86) makes it likely that the demeanor will change is almost null and void.
We have decided that when owner visits we will put all out there and be honest to let us do our job and not be such a control freak that our hands are so tied that we cannot do anything without the "approval" of the boss. Now don't get me wrong, major decisions such as purchasing large items, things that are important that involve a large amount of $$ should be made by the owner-but other trivial and small things we should be able to tell owner this is what we are doing and thats it, not a long discussion or argument as to why, when, were and NO then changing mind or telling us we never said anything about what owner is ranting about. Meaning that there is no "trust" in the job we are doing. Another concern is this third party-this should not have happened, now this third person will be giving owner advise and becoming the "spy" to tell her what we may or may not be doing-this is not exceptable.
My question is should we give the owner a contract through the end of season and then after this we can re-nagotiate it , what in all should we include in this contract and should lay all the cards on the table? We always walk on egg shells and because of the micro-management we try to give owner the least amount of information that we know the owner will start to cry and moan about it eventhough we dont own the Inn we try to do what will bring people here and help to make this Inn the success it was in the past.
thanks for listening
 

Alibi Ike

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If you renegotiate a contract, you should not be doing the gardener's job for free. If that is not in your job description you should not be doing it. Usually, I would say to do what needs to be done, but the owner in your case is just looking to get the most work for the least money and with the worst attitude toward employees.
However, if at your meeting you find you don't get any leeway and you're being asked to do work for no pay, I would hand in my termination effective 2 weeks' hence.
 

EmptyNest

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Sorry but I would not be negoiating any contract with her. I would be giving her my notice and getting out of Dodge. Why would you want to put up with this kind of crap any longer? She obviously doesn't care what you think so let her worry about finding someone else to do the job. Find a new position quick!
 

Breakfast Diva

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I know that you are strapped for cash and need a job, but personally, I would rather go back home and flip burgers than be under this woman's thumb. Negotiating a contract will do no good. You are in a prison and it's not good for your mental health.
 

Alibi Ike

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OTOH, it seems you have outlasted quite a few of your predecessors. It doesn't seem that anyone will make headway with the owner. Why not just do the job as explained to you and make the money and forget about about trying to improve the place? The owner doesn't want that. Essentially, do work for pay and find yourself an outlet for the creative side of you. The owner doesn't want that from you and it is causing you grief.
Get out your contract. Review what you are required to do and do no more than that. She didn't hire you to think. She didn't hire you to care. She hired 2 warm bodies to greet the guests, cook their meals and clean their rooms. That's all you have to do. Stop making the job more than it is. She is not of the 'new' school of employee as owner. She's the owner. She does the thinking. ALL you have to do is what she says, whether it is right or not. (Of course, you don't break the law or compromise your ethics!)
If something else needs to be done besides what is in your contract, call her and ask how she wants it handled. Give her exactly what she wants- the reins. Overwhelm her with problems she has to solve. But don't do a lick more work than you are being paid to do. If you are gardening, write that check out to yourself each month. Or let the gardens go to ruin. If she was happy with the way they looked for $1200/month she can be happy with the way they look for $0/month and no attention.
Or, contact the director for instructions. For the life of me that seems to be the cushy job. What the heck does THAT person do to earn his keep?
 

birdwatcher

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We would love to give an ultimatum (2weekd noticee) but without another job that will at least give us enough $$ to survive we cannot just quit, much that we would love to, now if a job presents itself and pays as much and is what we want-then by all means we would give her 2 weeks notice.
We don't have a "director" because that person left too. About the gardens-NO we will not do anymore of it without a substantial raise in pay.
 

EmptyNest

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We would love to give an ultimatum (2weekd noticee) but without another job that will at least give us enough $$ to survive we cannot just quit, much that we would love to, now if a job presents itself and pays as much and is what we want-then by all means we would give her 2 weeks notice.
We don't have a "director" because that person left too. About the gardens-NO we will not do anymore of it without a substantial raise in pay..
Alibi Ike has a good point. Do ONLY what is required and Nothing More unless more money to you is involved. Run it the way she wants, Ask her about everything and overwhelm her. Don't go out of your way to do anything you aren't paid to do. It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
 

Breakfast Diva

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OTOH, it seems you have outlasted quite a few of your predecessors. It doesn't seem that anyone will make headway with the owner. Why not just do the job as explained to you and make the money and forget about about trying to improve the place? The owner doesn't want that. Essentially, do work for pay and find yourself an outlet for the creative side of you. The owner doesn't want that from you and it is causing you grief.
Get out your contract. Review what you are required to do and do no more than that. She didn't hire you to think. She didn't hire you to care. She hired 2 warm bodies to greet the guests, cook their meals and clean their rooms. That's all you have to do. Stop making the job more than it is. She is not of the 'new' school of employee as owner. She's the owner. She does the thinking. ALL you have to do is what she says, whether it is right or not. (Of course, you don't break the law or compromise your ethics!)
If something else needs to be done besides what is in your contract, call her and ask how she wants it handled. Give her exactly what she wants- the reins. Overwhelm her with problems she has to solve. But don't do a lick more work than you are being paid to do. If you are gardening, write that check out to yourself each month. Or let the gardens go to ruin. If she was happy with the way they looked for $1200/month she can be happy with the way they look for $0/month and no attention.
Or, contact the director for instructions. For the life of me that seems to be the cushy job. What the heck does THAT person do to earn his keep?.
If you REALLY can't leave, then I agree 100% with Alibi. Do just what you're paid for and nothing else. Stop trying to make this position what it's not. She has made it clear that you are there to do what she says. Just keep saying to yourselves, it's HER business and she can run it into the ground if she wants. I know that it's going to be amazingly difficult for you to do because you're both caring and want to do the best for the business and the guests, but you MUST change your attitude for this position.
 

Alibi Ike

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We would love to give an ultimatum (2weekd noticee) but without another job that will at least give us enough $$ to survive we cannot just quit, much that we would love to, now if a job presents itself and pays as much and is what we want-then by all means we would give her 2 weeks notice.
We don't have a "director" because that person left too. About the gardens-NO we will not do anymore of it without a substantial raise in pay..
Alibi Ike has a good point. Do ONLY what is required and Nothing More unless more money to you is involved. Run it the way she wants, Ask her about everything and overwhelm her. Don't go out of your way to do anything you aren't paid to do. It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
.
catlady said:
It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
Altho I'm sure we are all cringing at that idea. I don't think any of us could do that with a clear conscience. (Even tho I all but suggested it!)
I think they've seriously tried to take ownership and make something of the place. It really does seem that the owner doesn't want success unless it costs her nothing. Implement a million ideas to bring in guests but don't tell me I have to outlay a dime. And don't rearrange the furniture to suit the guests. And don't be doing this when you should be doing that. And don't be doing that when you should be doing this. Ad infinitum.
I wish I could remember where I read this, but here's a pretty good summation of what this all feels like to me when I read it:
Assistant, coming into mgr's office on Thursday: Here is the report you requested on Monday.
Manager: This isn't how I wanted it done.
Asst: I followed the directions you gave to me.
Manager: Well, on Thursdays I like cream in my coffee; on Mondays I don't.
Can't win for losing.
 

Copperhead

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We would love to give an ultimatum (2weekd noticee) but without another job that will at least give us enough $$ to survive we cannot just quit, much that we would love to, now if a job presents itself and pays as much and is what we want-then by all means we would give her 2 weeks notice.
We don't have a "director" because that person left too. About the gardens-NO we will not do anymore of it without a substantial raise in pay..
Alibi Ike has a good point. Do ONLY what is required and Nothing More unless more money to you is involved. Run it the way she wants, Ask her about everything and overwhelm her. Don't go out of your way to do anything you aren't paid to do. It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
.
catlady said:
It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
Altho I'm sure we are all cringing at that idea. I don't think any of us could do that with a clear conscience. (Even tho I all but suggested it!)
I think they've seriously tried to take ownership and make something of the place. It really does seem that the owner doesn't want success unless it costs her nothing. Implement a million ideas to bring in guests but don't tell me I have to outlay a dime. And don't rearrange the furniture to suit the guests. And don't be doing this when you should be doing that. And don't be doing that when you should be doing this. Ad infinitum.
I wish I could remember where I read this, but here's a pretty good summation of what this all feels like to me when I read it:
Assistant, coming into mgr's office on Thursday: Here is the report you requested on Monday.
Manager: This isn't how I wanted it done.
Asst: I followed the directions you gave to me.
Manager: Well, on Thursdays I like cream in my coffee; on Mondays I don't.
Can't win for losing.
.
Abi, that was MY manager
She said, "Today I like chocolate"
 

Copperhead

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OTOH, it seems you have outlasted quite a few of your predecessors. It doesn't seem that anyone will make headway with the owner. Why not just do the job as explained to you and make the money and forget about about trying to improve the place? The owner doesn't want that. Essentially, do work for pay and find yourself an outlet for the creative side of you. The owner doesn't want that from you and it is causing you grief.
Get out your contract. Review what you are required to do and do no more than that. She didn't hire you to think. She didn't hire you to care. She hired 2 warm bodies to greet the guests, cook their meals and clean their rooms. That's all you have to do. Stop making the job more than it is. She is not of the 'new' school of employee as owner. She's the owner. She does the thinking. ALL you have to do is what she says, whether it is right or not. (Of course, you don't break the law or compromise your ethics!)
If something else needs to be done besides what is in your contract, call her and ask how she wants it handled. Give her exactly what she wants- the reins. Overwhelm her with problems she has to solve. But don't do a lick more work than you are being paid to do. If you are gardening, write that check out to yourself each month. Or let the gardens go to ruin. If she was happy with the way they looked for $1200/month she can be happy with the way they look for $0/month and no attention.
Or, contact the director for instructions. For the life of me that seems to be the cushy job. What the heck does THAT person do to earn his keep?.
Abi Ike said it all. Just do excactly like she wants - ask everything. If she wants the garden done and you want to do it, get paid for it or let it all die. REALLY!
I would not get into another contract. Save your $ and look for something else with all your free time. What about innsitting jobs? That could help you until you find something long term. I would not want to be in a contract if something else were to come up and you miss out.
This may sound a little morbid but the lady is 85, what will happen in the event that she is no longer able to manage over you, or in the event of her death? This could bring about another can of worms. Yes, she could live to be 110 fully intact, but odds are not in her favor.
 

EmptyNest

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OTOH, it seems you have outlasted quite a few of your predecessors. It doesn't seem that anyone will make headway with the owner. Why not just do the job as explained to you and make the money and forget about about trying to improve the place? The owner doesn't want that. Essentially, do work for pay and find yourself an outlet for the creative side of you. The owner doesn't want that from you and it is causing you grief.
Get out your contract. Review what you are required to do and do no more than that. She didn't hire you to think. She didn't hire you to care. She hired 2 warm bodies to greet the guests, cook their meals and clean their rooms. That's all you have to do. Stop making the job more than it is. She is not of the 'new' school of employee as owner. She's the owner. She does the thinking. ALL you have to do is what she says, whether it is right or not. (Of course, you don't break the law or compromise your ethics!)
If something else needs to be done besides what is in your contract, call her and ask how she wants it handled. Give her exactly what she wants- the reins. Overwhelm her with problems she has to solve. But don't do a lick more work than you are being paid to do. If you are gardening, write that check out to yourself each month. Or let the gardens go to ruin. If she was happy with the way they looked for $1200/month she can be happy with the way they look for $0/month and no attention.
Or, contact the director for instructions. For the life of me that seems to be the cushy job. What the heck does THAT person do to earn his keep?.
Abi Ike said it all. Just do excactly like she wants - ask everything. If she wants the garden done and you want to do it, get paid for it or let it all die. REALLY!
I would not get into another contract. Save your $ and look for something else with all your free time. What about innsitting jobs? That could help you until you find something long term. I would not want to be in a contract if something else were to come up and you miss out.
This may sound a little morbid but the lady is 85, what will happen in the event that she is no longer able to manage over you, or in the event of her death? This could bring about another can of worms. Yes, she could live to be 110 fully intact, but odds are not in her favor.
.
I was just thinking the same thing...but for 85 she must be one real fiesty woman intending to hang on till 100.

 

EmptyNest

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We would love to give an ultimatum (2weekd noticee) but without another job that will at least give us enough $$ to survive we cannot just quit, much that we would love to, now if a job presents itself and pays as much and is what we want-then by all means we would give her 2 weeks notice.
We don't have a "director" because that person left too. About the gardens-NO we will not do anymore of it without a substantial raise in pay..
Alibi Ike has a good point. Do ONLY what is required and Nothing More unless more money to you is involved. Run it the way she wants, Ask her about everything and overwhelm her. Don't go out of your way to do anything you aren't paid to do. It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
.
catlady said:
It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
Altho I'm sure we are all cringing at that idea. I don't think any of us could do that with a clear conscience. (Even tho I all but suggested it!)
I think they've seriously tried to take ownership and make something of the place. It really does seem that the owner doesn't want success unless it costs her nothing. Implement a million ideas to bring in guests but don't tell me I have to outlay a dime. And don't rearrange the furniture to suit the guests. And don't be doing this when you should be doing that. And don't be doing that when you should be doing this. Ad infinitum.
I wish I could remember where I read this, but here's a pretty good summation of what this all feels like to me when I read it:
Assistant, coming into mgr's office on Thursday: Here is the report you requested on Monday.
Manager: This isn't how I wanted it done.
Asst: I followed the directions you gave to me.
Manager: Well, on Thursdays I like cream in my coffee; on Mondays I don't.
Can't win for losing.
.
Alibi...
If you were in this same position...of course you would run it to the best of your ability...but if you JUST FOLLOWED HER RULES...and it didn't work..it would not be your fault. Going under may be an extreme phrase to use...let's just say...letting it go it's own way. Let the chips fall where they may.
 

agoodman

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You never know, if she is that old she may drop dead tomorrow and leave it all to you ..... !!
 

Alibi Ike

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We would love to give an ultimatum (2weekd noticee) but without another job that will at least give us enough $$ to survive we cannot just quit, much that we would love to, now if a job presents itself and pays as much and is what we want-then by all means we would give her 2 weeks notice.
We don't have a "director" because that person left too. About the gardens-NO we will not do anymore of it without a substantial raise in pay..
Alibi Ike has a good point. Do ONLY what is required and Nothing More unless more money to you is involved. Run it the way she wants, Ask her about everything and overwhelm her. Don't go out of your way to do anything you aren't paid to do. It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
.
catlady said:
It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
Altho I'm sure we are all cringing at that idea. I don't think any of us could do that with a clear conscience. (Even tho I all but suggested it!)
I think they've seriously tried to take ownership and make something of the place. It really does seem that the owner doesn't want success unless it costs her nothing. Implement a million ideas to bring in guests but don't tell me I have to outlay a dime. And don't rearrange the furniture to suit the guests. And don't be doing this when you should be doing that. And don't be doing that when you should be doing this. Ad infinitum.
I wish I could remember where I read this, but here's a pretty good summation of what this all feels like to me when I read it:
Assistant, coming into mgr's office on Thursday: Here is the report you requested on Monday.
Manager: This isn't how I wanted it done.
Asst: I followed the directions you gave to me.
Manager: Well, on Thursdays I like cream in my coffee; on Mondays I don't.
Can't win for losing.
.
Abi, that was MY manager
She said, "Today I like chocolate"
.
copperhead said:
Abi, that was MY manager
She said, "Today I like chocolate"
Well, I knew I read it somewhere!
 

Alibi Ike

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We would love to give an ultimatum (2weekd noticee) but without another job that will at least give us enough $$ to survive we cannot just quit, much that we would love to, now if a job presents itself and pays as much and is what we want-then by all means we would give her 2 weeks notice.
We don't have a "director" because that person left too. About the gardens-NO we will not do anymore of it without a substantial raise in pay..
Alibi Ike has a good point. Do ONLY what is required and Nothing More unless more money to you is involved. Run it the way she wants, Ask her about everything and overwhelm her. Don't go out of your way to do anything you aren't paid to do. It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
.
catlady said:
It is not your inn, don't run it like it is. If it goes under, then so be it. You just need to do your job.
Altho I'm sure we are all cringing at that idea. I don't think any of us could do that with a clear conscience. (Even tho I all but suggested it!)
I think they've seriously tried to take ownership and make something of the place. It really does seem that the owner doesn't want success unless it costs her nothing. Implement a million ideas to bring in guests but don't tell me I have to outlay a dime. And don't rearrange the furniture to suit the guests. And don't be doing this when you should be doing that. And don't be doing that when you should be doing this. Ad infinitum.
I wish I could remember where I read this, but here's a pretty good summation of what this all feels like to me when I read it:
Assistant, coming into mgr's office on Thursday: Here is the report you requested on Monday.
Manager: This isn't how I wanted it done.
Asst: I followed the directions you gave to me.
Manager: Well, on Thursdays I like cream in my coffee; on Mondays I don't.
Can't win for losing.
.
Alibi...
If you were in this same position...of course you would run it to the best of your ability...but if you JUST FOLLOWED HER RULES...and it didn't work..it would not be your fault. Going under may be an extreme phrase to use...let's just say...letting it go it's own way. Let the chips fall where they may.
.
catlady said:
Alibi...
If you were in this same position...of course you would run it to the best of your ability...but if you JUST FOLLOWED HER RULES...and it didn't work..it would not be your fault. Going under may be an extreme phrase to use...let's just say...letting it go it's own way. Let the chips fall where they may.
I'm not sure it's in me to not do my absolute best and give more than is asked. My dad's words of job wisdom were, 'It is not fair to your employer to get paid and also complain. Get another job if you don't like what you're doing.' (Jobs weren't thick on the ground then, either.)
But, I agree. If I did the job I was told to do by a manager who did not want my input, then yes, not my fault if the idea fails.
 

birdwatcher

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agoodman-I DON'T WANT IT!
Yup to all of what you all said-and even if we do everything that she said to do sometimes it doesnt work and she still blames the employee but after the employee is gone she raves about them-like you said alibi. Yea we could do the innsitting thing, havent found anything yet;the only saving grace is that she lives accross the country or else I swear i would not be here.
 

Joey Camb

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People like this drive me mad, my godmother is one of them she cannot leave any of her staff alone for 5 minutes you have to report back to her all the time and or she is always popping in and checking on you till you go bezerk. This is why when she asked me many years ago to be her general manager i said no I cannot cope with micro managing. I am damn good at my job don't need anyone looking over my shoulder! She wont change they never do they cannot believe that someone can do a job better without their input. I believe you should employ people to do a job, check on them a bit to start to make sure that they can manage alright and then to the main leave them alone unless they ask for help except for periodic check to make sure standards are maintained or if you have a reasonable question. If you hassel someone all the time what is the point of hiring them? you are just waisting everyone's time! and if they need supervising all the time get rid of them for someone who can.
She is basically a full time crazy person get well clear! plus make sure you get paid every penny you are definately earning it!
 

seashanty

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birdwatcher, i totally feel for you! but a little reality check here.
without repeating my saga ad nauseum, i got fed up with the (lack of) pay, the steamrolling, the discounting of my ideas and hard work, the deception, and yes ... my own lack of ability to stand up for myself ... i admit to that ....
i bailed. without a life boat. without a job in site. never dreaming it would take two years for me to find something part time. no one would even interview me, let alone hire me ... not even to flip burgers. how can that be? it seemed incredible, unbelievable. at the few interviews i got, they would say, you are overqualified for this job ... you will leave when something better comes along. so, in the meantime, long time, nothing better came along and i had no job. i couldn't believe it. i volunteered all over the place but that does not pay bills. i did not collect unemployment because i had walked away from a paying job. what a nightmare! i had heard stories of people looking for jobs for ages and i thought, those people are not taking whatever job they can get. now i know better.
i do look back at the inn with regret ... missing what i created .... although it's a very different inn now.
i understand wanting to do your best. to make the place great.
when you're running it, acting as face and host, you have that feeling of ownership, you want it to be wonderful in all ways. but with a supreme absentee owner who ties your hands it is a nightmare.
please don't walk away until you find another position. but please do continue to look .. in earnest ... because if you are like me, you will feel your spirit being broken. i can still look back and say i did the best darn job i could. and you'll be able to take that with you.
 

birdwatcher

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thanks seashanty and all of you-keep bringing the great ideas. We cannot just quit without having another position either together or apart its really hard to find a job-I feel you seashanty we kind of took this position because we could not find other employment in the state we were in-the only way I would just quit is if I wake up crying and so depressed that impacs my spirit as you said, then its not worth my mental health.
We are dredding the visit or inspection.
 

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