maybe i can loan you my car buddy ... half person with shades and cap who rides shotgun with me when i drive alone for distances. (no, i never try to use the car pool lane) he has no legs but can sit quite nicely on the closed toilet seat.
i resorted to this when i had people marching into my little bathroom not during check-in times or breakfast but during odd times for various reasons ...
i had an 'out of service' sign hanging which they ignored.
but one look at 'the man' sitting on the throne in the dark bathroom and i'd hear shrieks or gasps and the slamming of the bathroom door, my little wooden sign would clatter to the floor, footsteps rushing to the stairs, sounds of scurrying to their own guest room with private bath ... i didn't have to see anything to know what had happened..