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For those working together, what nice things do you/your partner do for each other in the course of running a b&b ?

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Don Draper

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Joe Bloggs' recent thread got me thinking...what are your favorite examples of little things that you do for each other in the course of running your b&b that make your life easier?
DH knows I HATE to fold napkins...he washes and folds 'em all every day for me. I smile every morning when I set the table with fresh, clean napkins.
After three years he admitted to me the other day that he HATES cleaning out the casserole pans after an egg dish (yet he was doing this every day, mostly because he is in perpetual motion and just gets there faster than I do!). I've made it a point since he told me to be sure I am the one doing this every day...he smiles every time he sees me doing it.
 

Morticia

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O good grief, you're nice to each other. I guess we do the same thing here. The person best suited or with the least aversion does each task. For me, I say please and thank you to hubs when he's cooking. Instead of, hey gimme that.
 

EmptyNest

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O good grief, you're nice to each other. I guess we do the same thing here. The person best suited or with the least aversion does each task. For me, I say please and thank you to hubs when he's cooking. Instead of, hey gimme that..
My hubby got so good at cooking for B & B..now that we have retired...he is in charge of most dinners.... YEAH...
I say..I did dinner for first 20 years...he can do the next 20:) I will occasionally do a dinner.
 

gillumhouse

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We also observe the courtesy of please and thank you. I hate dishes - especially silverware - and DH does dishes. I make him pudding - even when I am dead on my butt tired and do NOT tell him there is butter in it because it is his ONE enjoyment and if he knows there is butter in it he will no longer allow himself the pleasure. Much as it aggrevates - it is what I do for him. I think we BOTH bite our tongues - a lot.
 

JBloggs

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Simply being nice to each other when we don't have time is a nice gesture and the hardest thing to do, imo. You know the saying about treating those you love the worst? The guests always come first? Well to think about each other doesn't happen often enough. It usually follows a major meltdown to get back to where we should be. I am being honest, as always.
 

Don Draper

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I believe all these little things really add up...especially the common courtesy. This adventure has definitely made us stronger as a couple.
 

EmptyNest

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We also observe the courtesy of please and thank you. I hate dishes - especially silverware - and DH does dishes. I make him pudding - even when I am dead on my butt tired and do NOT tell him there is butter in it because it is his ONE enjoyment and if he knows there is butter in it he will no longer allow himself the pleasure. Much as it aggrevates - it is what I do for him. I think we BOTH bite our tongues - a lot..
We thank each other for something every day! Could be the smallest of things..but thank you none the less.
 

egoodell

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I don't kill him when he gets in my way in the kitchen.
He tries to bring me coffe in the morning when I moan and complain about being the one who has to go work at a job.
I do the ironing so he can get the outside done and work in the vineyard which is growing so fast with the rain this year that he has to go out and retie the vines every three days or so.
We try to get out and relax on a regular basis - even if it's just for a quick dinner out.
RIki
 

NW BB

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Working together and being together 24/7 was the toughest part of our transition to being innkeepers. That first year was brutal! Now, we have our specific tasks and duties and just try to keep out of each other's way and not criticize.
The best thing we do for ourselves as a couple is take vacations. Once we get out of the work mode we're able to enjoy not talking/thinking/working the inn and are just a couple. We've now started taking 2 vacations a year and an overnight getaway whenever we can.
As far as the every day goes.....well, I'm just glad I haven't killed him!
 

Penelope

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Working together and being together 24/7 was the toughest part of our transition to being innkeepers. That first year was brutal! Now, we have our specific tasks and duties and just try to keep out of each other's way and not criticize.
The best thing we do for ourselves as a couple is take vacations. Once we get out of the work mode we're able to enjoy not talking/thinking/working the inn and are just a couple. We've now started taking 2 vacations a year and an overnight getaway whenever we can.
As far as the every day goes.....well, I'm just glad I haven't killed him!
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NW BB said:
I'm just glad I haven't killed him!
He's probably rather relieved about that, too!
 

Penelope

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It seems comical to me that the underlying theme is "at least I haven't killed him/her". I am very suprised it's not more "if he/she doesn't shape up, we're getting a divorce". I can understand why it's NOT divorce-central, because the caliber of you guys is way up there. But for as many people who do get divorced when times get tough, it seems like tough times are common for B&B owners. Yet, most of you have never mentioned legal papers rather than Tide and Hefty. I applaud you all.
Congratulations on strong marriages and an even stronger determination to make it work
 

NW BB

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It seems comical to me that the underlying theme is "at least I haven't killed him/her". I am very suprised it's not more "if he/she doesn't shape up, we're getting a divorce". I can understand why it's NOT divorce-central, because the caliber of you guys is way up there. But for as many people who do get divorced when times get tough, it seems like tough times are common for B&B owners. Yet, most of you have never mentioned legal papers rather than Tide and Hefty. I applaud you all.
Congratulations on strong marriages and an even stronger determination to make it work.
When we bought our inn, we had picked up and move to another state leaving all friends and family behind. The change in careers, learning a new business, the pressure of having to increase business so that one of us (him) didn't have to get an outside job, and then being together 24/7 was extremely difficult. But, after that 1st year, we looked back and knew that if our marriage had survived everything we had been through, then we could get through anything! That was actually rather comforting!
Now we're sort of on auto-pilot. Not with our guests, but we know we just have to get into the swing of things to survive the busy season. I'm really thankful that we were able to create a thriving business together. What helps me get through the summer is looking forward to our next vacation together!
 

Don Draper

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It seems comical to me that the underlying theme is "at least I haven't killed him/her". I am very suprised it's not more "if he/she doesn't shape up, we're getting a divorce". I can understand why it's NOT divorce-central, because the caliber of you guys is way up there. But for as many people who do get divorced when times get tough, it seems like tough times are common for B&B owners. Yet, most of you have never mentioned legal papers rather than Tide and Hefty. I applaud you all.
Congratulations on strong marriages and an even stronger determination to make it work.
When we bought our inn, we had picked up and move to another state leaving all friends and family behind. The change in careers, learning a new business, the pressure of having to increase business so that one of us (him) didn't have to get an outside job, and then being together 24/7 was extremely difficult. But, after that 1st year, we looked back and knew that if our marriage had survived everything we had been through, then we could get through anything! That was actually rather comforting!
Now we're sort of on auto-pilot. Not with our guests, but we know we just have to get into the swing of things to survive the busy season. I'm really thankful that we were able to create a thriving business together. What helps me get through the summer is looking forward to our next vacation together!
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NW BB said:
What helps me get through the summer is looking forward to our next vacation together!
I'll second that! We have a cruise planned in January...THAT is a great reward!
 

MooseTrax

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It seems comical to me that the underlying theme is "at least I haven't killed him/her". I am very suprised it's not more "if he/she doesn't shape up, we're getting a divorce". I can understand why it's NOT divorce-central, because the caliber of you guys is way up there. But for as many people who do get divorced when times get tough, it seems like tough times are common for B&B owners. Yet, most of you have never mentioned legal papers rather than Tide and Hefty. I applaud you all.
Congratulations on strong marriages and an even stronger determination to make it work.
penelope said:
Congratulations on strong marriages and an even stronger determination to make it work
it's not quite that simple. when you're married but don't own a business together you can get a fairly easy divorce. when you're married and own and work a business together, you have to either dissolve or sell the business. much more difficult. sometimes, it's a matter of convenience to figure the thing out. and just because the word 'divorce' is not mentioned on here, does not mean it hasn't been bandied around at home. never underestimate the stress of living and working 24x7 with another adult who does not necessarily share your views and beliefs. or, plainer put, another adult who has his own business views and beliefs. some people say that building a house together will determine if your marriage can handle the stress. that is nothing compared with owning a business that you work together. at least building the house you usually get to walk away from each other for 8-10 hours everyday.
 

greyswan

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We tell others that there will not be another divorce.... there may be an horrible accident.......
 

Willowpondgj

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I try to say loving things like:
Well, you do it then!
It wouldn't have burned if you didn't have the flame so high...
Fine.
Be my guest.
You wanna to do it? (That could be taken many ways...
But is usually said while throwing a spatula on the counter or scrubber in the toilet)
Why are you asking me if you don't want my opinion?
These are the phrases of a beautiful relationship! Without them, DH would think I had really lost it! The reciprocal aspect is DH saying my phrases in perfect mocked impersonation. Kiss, kiss!
But seriously, we do step it up when the other just can't take it, but I have to admit, DH has more points than me. I think the nicest thing we do for each other is when one of us surprises the other by cleaning rooms without the other's help, that always gets a "woo-hoo, you rock!" from the other party. Also letting the other person sleep in when it's possible.
 

greyswan

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I recently awarded DH with a 30 min extra sleep token for doing a little something extra for me during serving time... he hasn't redeemed it just yet.
A day hasn't gone by that we haven't said "I love you" to each other (and meant it!) Hearing and saying those words means a lot to us. We give each other space to do our own thing in our off times... working together hasn't been too bad so far. We've been doing this since Sept '07.
 

gillumhouse

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It seems comical to me that the underlying theme is "at least I haven't killed him/her". I am very suprised it's not more "if he/she doesn't shape up, we're getting a divorce". I can understand why it's NOT divorce-central, because the caliber of you guys is way up there. But for as many people who do get divorced when times get tough, it seems like tough times are common for B&B owners. Yet, most of you have never mentioned legal papers rather than Tide and Hefty. I applaud you all.
Congratulations on strong marriages and an even stronger determination to make it work.
It seems comical to me that the underlying theme is "at least I haven't killed him/her". I am very suprised it's not more "if he/she doesn't shape up, we're getting a divorce".
Who can afford a divorce? We are B & B owners! Divorce is expensive!! Hefty bags and Tide and cement (cannot forget the cement per my daughter the cop) is a lot cheaper. More satisfying too as a stress reliever.
 

Copperhead

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It was funny that my first thought was - We are both thankful that neither of us killed the other! Then reading the posts, I wasn't alone.
Really though, DH comments sometimes if he makes a mistake serving breakfast (i.e. serving on the wrong side or a more common mistake of late - pouring OJ in the coffee cup) OH, please don't tell the boss, she may fire me. And usually I am within ear shot, and come in and say Yeh, he wishes!
His task is to be the one to stay up late for late arrivals, his reward... not being wakened in the AM to help with breakfast. (unless we have a full house, I am generous up to a point).
 

Samster

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Who knew that so many others here also had plots against their spouses? tee hee...
Seriously, if my dh didn't go to another job every day.....?? I am just not cut out to spend every waking hour with him.

The few things that he does to help out routinely that make my life easier: taking out the garbage (without being asked), emptying the dishwasher in the morning (and getting 99% of it put away in the right place), and feeding/watering/letting the pets out in the morning (if he hasn't been asked). Those three things are a huge help for me! Also, he has always asked me if I need him to stop & get something on the way home. If he doesn't give me a bunch of grief about whatever that favor is, that is also a huge help.

As far as he's concerned, I take care of everything else.
I need a wife.....
 

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