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Willowpondgj

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No "hello", no intro...just:
Can I bring Bucky? (Southern Accent)
DH- Who's Bucky?
My dog.
____________________
Do you have snakes?
Is your place haunted?
Is it clean?
Of course, the funniest part is the answers that are going through your head that are not polite enough to say or print!
 

gillumhouse

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When I was relief night audit at a Holiday Inn I used to have mental conversations with the people standing at the desk wanting a room on a Saturday night in the Summer at 2 AM.
Traveler: I have been drivein since Duluth, I need a room.
Me: I am sorry but we have no rooms available. We are booked.
T: Why?
Mentally: Because dumba** everyone else was smart enough to make a reservation.
me: Weddings, reunions, etc
And then there was the guy who did not believe me - You mean if the President of the United States came in here you would not have a room for him. I know you guys keep a room for VIPs.
Me: Sir, if the President came in here I would be able to offer him a couch in a meeting room (mentally - they pay me to sell ALL the rooms you Idiot!)
 

Morticia

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Along the lines of what Kathleen said...
"I'd like to book a room on September 15."
Me: We have no rooms available that night.
Them: Why not? (The tone suggesting no one in their right mind would stay here.)
 

swirt

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Willowpondgj said:
Of course, the funniest part is the answers that are going through your head that are not polite enough to say or print!
Too true...I always have smarta$$ comments running through my head when I'm on the phone with people inquiring about stuff. It actually trips me up if I am on the phone making a reservation for somewhere I am going..because I hear myself ask the question...then I have a smart alec response to myself...and I completely miss what the actual answer was ;)
 

seashanty

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walk-in arrives at door: elderly man, wobbly in the knee.
him: do you have any rooms available tonight?
me: yes, i have one room with shared bath
him: if i get to share the bath with you, i'll take it.
 

Morticia

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walk-in arrives at door: elderly man, wobbly in the knee.
him: do you have any rooms available tonight?
me: yes, i have one room with shared bath
him: if i get to share the bath with you, i'll take it..
seashanty said:
walk-in arrives at door: elderly man, wobbly in the knee.
him: do you have any rooms available tonight?
me: yes, i have one room with shared bath
him: if i get to share the bath with you, i'll take it.
It's always the geezers, isn't it?

 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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My all time least favorite, and it is not EVEN funny, it bugs the heck out of me. Someone calls...they pick your brain. The will not let up, asking every question - some you would never have thought to ask. And I am not making this up, of course all of you have had it asked at least once.
The grand finale question that pretty much ends the conversation and I FINALLY get short with the caller.
"Is it nice? Would YOU stay there?"
I know the aspirings are thinking about this, and saying "HUH?"
It is basically asking if all the day in and day out hard work, manual labor, sweat and tears are worth a dry hill of beans. At this point, I figure the person is a royal p.i.t.a and tell them, "Uh no, never. I would never stay here." click
I AM NOT A SALESMAN. I would rather have peace in the house than a p.i.t.a. in my midst. Honey, we're havin' hot dogs tonight, I just couldn't make that reservation, she was awful. "I'll get the mustard." he says.
 

Morticia

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Hubs has the best answer for the guests who ask questions like, 'Is it clean?' or 'How does it compare to XYZ B&B?'
He just says, in somewhat of a conspiratorial tone, 'You're talking to the owner, what do you think I'm going to say? Of course this is the best place in town.'
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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I used to act like that in the beginning, Yes it is clean! I clean it! But now I figure any person who asks that is an idiot. I don't want them staying here. The same people ask about decor. How the heck do I know what YOU like?
"Is there anything to do around there?" I never know how to answer this one, but I usually say "What do you LIKE to do?" I mean, gimmee a break, do a little research. There is a ton of stuff to do ANY PLACE you go.
 

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