Guys - can you explain for me?

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gillumhouse

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Guys (and I mean the men on the Forum), can you explain why men do things that could easily wait until January but do it not only during Thanksgiving/beginning of December but on of ALL days Christmas Eve.
One jerk decided to tell his wife over Thanksgiving that he had been living a lie for three years and then moved out the first week of December - it it has been 3 years wait a couple more months you idiot!! Then another killed himself on Christmas Eve! Great timing! I am told he had cancer - OK, wait until January.
Yes, I am frustrated today with the devastation both wreaked on thier kids. Wives are bad enough, but to have your kids associate the special family holidays with such devastation for the rest of their lives! Why???
 

Suzie Q

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I've had two men break up with me on Mother's Day...
 

Suzie Q

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I've had two men break up with me on Mother's Day....
I had a boyfriend break up with me on my 16th birthday! It was years and years after that before I was able to let go of birthday-phobia.
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One man I knew professionally years ago admitted that he broke up with his girlfriends before a holiday so he wouldn't have to buy them a gift! CAD!
 

gillumhouse

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I've had two men break up with me on Mother's Day....
I had a boyfriend break up with me on my 16th birthday! It was years and years after that before I was able to let go of birthday-phobia.
.
One man I knew professionally years ago admitted that he broke up with his girlfriends before a holiday so he wouldn't have to buy them a gift! CAD!
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Adults can handle things to a point. It is what these idiots have done to their kids that makes me want to rip their heads off. None of these kids are out of high school - most are middle school or younger!
 

Don Draper

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I feel you Kathleen...these people are just so self-centered they don't have the capacity to wait.
 

rrh

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I have a theory but I think I'll wait until January to share it. I would hate to have my virtual head ripped off during the holiday season. Yes, I'm the DH of this operation....
r
 

gillumhouse

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I have a theory but I think I'll wait until January to share it. I would hate to have my virtual head ripped off during the holiday season. Yes, I'm the DH of this operation....
r.
Fear not! I asked the question seriously. I am trying to understand why someone would do that to his children. Why they would make such a time so sad.
No matter when, it would cause hurt and sadness and be a time the girls - yes, all the children are girls - would always remember with hurt and sadness - but Christmas?
Elucidate, please
 

YellowSocks

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It's not just guys... last week an acquaintance's wife told him she didn't love him and hadn't for years, the next day he came home to find her loading a U-Haul.
I told another friend about it and she said her (now ex) husband told her the same thing while they were at King's Island with the kids. She's like, couldn't you have waited another day or two to tell me?
Another guy I know threatened suicide last week... although that situation seems to be OK now.
It's true... there's something about holidays.
=(
Kk.
 

ginocat

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When people reach their limit they reach their limit. The mind bends. Depression can be present and people don't know it. Holiday seasons can be the worst time for many people and they just can't cope never mind think. There's no 'best' time for children. I can understand the man who killed himself. If you're at that point in your life you definitely aren't thinking of others else why would you kill yourself?
My father died on Dec. 21 and his funeral was on the 24th. I do understand how terrible things during a holiday affect one forever but stuff happens and it will continue to happen. There IS NO best time.
I might always add that in a relationship there are ALWAYS two sides to a story. Always!
 

rrh

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I have no college degree in anything. I do have 55 years of life experiences and that is all. So here is my holiday theory...
The holidays are a two edged sword. You have the up folks and the down folks and the holidays accelerate the emotions, even if you are in middle ground - the direction you lean is accentuated.
If you are depressed, you get double depressed and what better time to make a statement and crumble the joy of the happy bunch than now, during the holidays....extreme joy...extreme sadness... I've been on both sides....as we all have.
Best wishes to all.....I shed a tear.
 

JBloggs

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I am not a guy, but I feel compelled to answer. This happens all the time, not only during the holidays, these two just happened to hit right then, there are plenty of people suffering year round, the misery is spread throughout the year.
I am pretty sure whatever devastation happened would affect the loved ones year round as well, as they miss them each and every holiday and probably each and every day.
As it is written the rain falls on the just and the unjust.
 

gillumhouse

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I have no college degree in anything. I do have 55 years of life experiences and that is all. So here is my holiday theory...
The holidays are a two edged sword. You have the up folks and the down folks and the holidays accelerate the emotions, even if you are in middle ground - the direction you lean is accentuated.
If you are depressed, you get double depressed and what better time to make a statement and crumble the joy of the happy bunch than now, during the holidays....extreme joy...extreme sadness... I've been on both sides....as we all have.
Best wishes to all.....I shed a tear..
Thanks. That comes as close as anything. I appreciate the answer.
I realize that no matter when the crap hits the fan, it hurts and will leave a lasting hurt. But the hurts that happens in June is not the open wound that will happen with Christmas. That was what I meant by the why now. And yes, I understand the "make them pay" attitude. I once felt like no one gave a damn but decided against offing myself because it would make they pay harder if I was still here to be a burr under the saddle so to speak.
 

JBloggs

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I have no college degree in anything. I do have 55 years of life experiences and that is all. So here is my holiday theory...
The holidays are a two edged sword. You have the up folks and the down folks and the holidays accelerate the emotions, even if you are in middle ground - the direction you lean is accentuated.
If you are depressed, you get double depressed and what better time to make a statement and crumble the joy of the happy bunch than now, during the holidays....extreme joy...extreme sadness... I've been on both sides....as we all have.
Best wishes to all.....I shed a tear..
Thanks. That comes as close as anything. I appreciate the answer.
I realize that no matter when the crap hits the fan, it hurts and will leave a lasting hurt. But the hurts that happens in June is not the open wound that will happen with Christmas. That was what I meant by the why now. And yes, I understand the "make them pay" attitude. I once felt like no one gave a damn but decided against offing myself because it would make they pay harder if I was still here to be a burr under the saddle so to speak.
.
I understood what you meant, why PURPOSEFULLY try to ruin someone's Christmas for the rest of their lives. Many motivations we do not understand or want to understand.
 

gillumhouse

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I have no college degree in anything. I do have 55 years of life experiences and that is all. So here is my holiday theory...
The holidays are a two edged sword. You have the up folks and the down folks and the holidays accelerate the emotions, even if you are in middle ground - the direction you lean is accentuated.
If you are depressed, you get double depressed and what better time to make a statement and crumble the joy of the happy bunch than now, during the holidays....extreme joy...extreme sadness... I've been on both sides....as we all have.
Best wishes to all.....I shed a tear..
Thanks. That comes as close as anything. I appreciate the answer.
I realize that no matter when the crap hits the fan, it hurts and will leave a lasting hurt. But the hurts that happens in June is not the open wound that will happen with Christmas. That was what I meant by the why now. And yes, I understand the "make them pay" attitude. I once felt like no one gave a damn but decided against offing myself because it would make they pay harder if I was still here to be a burr under the saddle so to speak.
.
I understood what you meant, why PURPOSEFULLY try to ruin someone's Christmas for the rest of their lives. Many motivations we do not understand or want to understand.
.
Yes, that is exactly it. Purposely. There are a lot of mumbo-jumbo statements, my oldest daughter is very into psycho-babble - but it all boils down to such a waste and a mean thing to do.
 

aieechihuahua

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I know a doctor friend who's wife decided to leave him (and their son), for her lover on Christmas Day. It's not a man thing.
 

ginocat

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And I don't really think it's done on purpose to be especially hurtful.The person who does the deed is also hurting or they wouldn't do it.
 
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