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Happiness, Energy and life sometimes getting in the way ...

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Paisley

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I haven't been on for awhile. Our B&B plans have been up and down but never altogether given up on. We've recently received some information that has brought the plan to the forefront again.
I'm having a "blue" day today. I thought of mentioning this as I read Morticia's post about taking Vitamin D. We have it lined up right beside the coffee maker to take each morning. Unfortunately, I rarely do ... don't ask me why. I currently live in Northwestern Ontario and we are in the middle of cold, dark, gray and otherwise yuck. I know this affects my mood. But also, I have issues with depression of sorts in the past.
My question to you folks is the following:
1) Have you ever experienced depression that you just couldn't kick? How did you manage your business during that time? Did you make any changes at all?
2) Have you had times of unexplained fatigue? Again, how did you manage your business around it?
This could very well be a seasonal thing for me - when you're in the middle of it, its hard to think logically - but nevertheless, it is something that I deal with now and again. On days like this one, I wonder, "What if I was running my B&B right now? How would I do it?
Thanks for the input I know you will provide.
 

Samster

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This would be a difficult biz to be in if you're prone to being "down", especially if you're the main innkeeper or the primary person doing all the work. Because you're always "on", it's sometimes hard to safeguard your own health and because this business has lots of elements of taking care of others, we tend to put ourselves last on the list.
I haven't had unexplained fatigue...I knew it was lack of sleep, proper exercisse, and a really bad routine. I have had to block out days when I reached my total exhaustion level for self preservation. If you don't have someone who can really back you up, you are sunk.
 

Morticia

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And another thing. You need to have good innkeeper space so you CAN 'turn off' at night. If your bedroom is right in with the guest rooms or you're sharing your kitchen/living room/dining room with guests it will be harder to get that break you sound like you need.
 

Innkeep

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Thanks, Mort
I can tell that your post was right from your heart. It means so much for me to come onto this forum and get all sorts of uplifting advice...and good advice.
 

wendydk

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When I'm busy every day with guests, I'm happy and energized. Trying to get through our slowest few months is agonizing for me. I don't want to get up in the morning, don't want to do anything or go anywhere.
 

Don Draper

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What an incredibly thoughtful post. I concur with just about everything you've said here Morticia, having lived with the Depression Demon all of my life.
I just want to add that for me, having people here constantly has actually been a big help, in that even if I can't feel motivated for myself, knowing I have people here to take care of can at least get me moving in the morning...and I use your same strategy: Just take care of breakfast, just go to the grocery store, just check the people in. And when I do have horrible days where I just can't deal with any of it, my husband is an incredibly supportive partner who can always take up the slack. But I've had far fewer of those kinds of days as an innkeeper than I ever did in my "normal" job.
 

Innkeeper To Go

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What an incredibly thoughtful post. I concur with just about everything you've said here Morticia, having lived with the Depression Demon all of my life.
I just want to add that for me, having people here constantly has actually been a big help, in that even if I can't feel motivated for myself, knowing I have people here to take care of can at least get me moving in the morning...and I use your same strategy: Just take care of breakfast, just go to the grocery store, just check the people in. And when I do have horrible days where I just can't deal with any of it, my husband is an incredibly supportive partner who can always take up the slack. But I've had far fewer of those kinds of days as an innkeeper than I ever did in my "normal" job..
Rupert said:
What an incredibly thoughtful post. I concur with just about everything you've said here Morticia, having lived with the Depression Demon all of my life.
I agree. A really kind act, in fact, to post on such a delicate subject with such thoughtfulness.
Same goes to you, Rupie.
I've had plenty of challenges in life but have never suffered from the big D myself. For several years, though, I lived with someone who did and know just how hard it can be for folks to even talk about it.
There's no way of knowing what's the right job or the right place for anyone other than ourselves.
But just like all illnesses, this is one that needs to be treated with compassion and resourcefulness. No doors are necessarily closed to any of us as long as we're willing to squeeze them open.
 

Paisley

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Thanks for all the sharing! While we're all being so honest, I actually am on medication for depression and am quite happy with that. And happy really, to still experience the mood swings that come with weather and hormonal changes, etc. It means I'm still feeling!
I like hearing that folks have had depression periods yet are still in this business. I too have a very supportive husband. On the other hand, I would never even consider going in this direction with my life if I didn't think I would enjoy it. The place we are looking at is set up perfectly for our own privacy and breathing space which is very important to me especially.
And yes, I have to remember that doing something I enjoy is very different from doing the daily grind that we might be doing now.
Lots of great stuff to think about. Thanks to all of you for your caring time. I feel better already!
 

gillumhouse

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Thanks for all the sharing! While we're all being so honest, I actually am on medication for depression and am quite happy with that. And happy really, to still experience the mood swings that come with weather and hormonal changes, etc. It means I'm still feeling!
I like hearing that folks have had depression periods yet are still in this business. I too have a very supportive husband. On the other hand, I would never even consider going in this direction with my life if I didn't think I would enjoy it. The place we are looking at is set up perfectly for our own privacy and breathing space which is very important to me especially.
And yes, I have to remember that doing something I enjoy is very different from doing the daily grind that we might be doing now.
Lots of great stuff to think about. Thanks to all of you for your caring time. I feel better already!.
The "slow season" is hardest for me. It is slow and the gumption got slower. Not the demand for things to get done, just the gumption to do them. It is cold outside AND inside. No guests means no money and the round of things that need paid (gas & electric, sales tax, directory renewals, ad campaigns committed to for Spring....) get bigger, not smaller. I find myself playing Spider Freecell and Mah Jong more. This is the time of year I am grateful for my City involvement because it means I HAVE to get up and dressed and do things. It is the outside demands and commitments that keep me going in winter.
Since getting home yesterday afternoon I DID get the sales tax paid before the deadline and the article e-mailed with photos. Today I DID get the release forms faxed and more photos e-mailed but have not done anything else. Just catching up on Forum.
 

JBloggs

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Sorry to hear that Paisley.
(oops sorry can't change the giant font)
I just saw this article today:
AVOID THESE FOODS IF YOU ARE IN PAIN
There are many people who could benefit from the knowledge found in this article by Dr. Mercola on how to avoid aggravating painful conditions such as Fibromyalgia.
The food we eat can make an amazing difference in how we feel, but far to many people don’t realize that. Somehow our culture has lost the connection between diet and health. Dr. Mercola reminds us that we have far more control over our health than we have been led to believe.
FOODS THAT CHRONIC PAIN SUFFERERS NEED TO AVOID
By Dr. Mercola
Chronic pain is a pervasive issue and fibromyalgia is a very common form. It is a chronic condition whose symptoms include muscle and tissue pain, fatigue, depression, and sleep disturbances.
Recent data suggests that central sensitization, in which neurons in your spinal cord become sensitized by inflammation or cell damage, may be involved in the way fibromyalgia sufferers process pain.
Certain chemicals in the foods you eat may trigger the release of neurotransmitters that heighten this sensitivity.
Although there have been only a handful of studies on diet and fibromyalgia, the following eating rules can’t hurt, and may help, when dealing with chronic pain.
Limit Sugar as Much as Possible. Increased insulin levels will typically dramatically worsen pain. So you will want to limit all sugars and this would typically include fresh fruit juices. Whole fresh fruit is the preferred method for consuming fruit products.
If you are overweight, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes, you will also want to limit grains as much as possible as they are metabolized very similarly to sugars. This would also include organic unprocessed grains. Wheat and gluten grains are the top ones to avoid.
Eat fresh foods. Eating a diet of fresh foods, devoid of preservatives and additives, may ease symptoms triggered by coexisting conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
It’s also a good idea to buy organic food when possible, as it’s best to avoid pesticides and chemicals. However, fresh is best. So if you have to choose between local, fresh, non-organic and organic but wilting – go with fresh, and clean properly.
Avoid caffeine.Fibromyalgia is believed to be linked to an imbalance of brain chemicals that control mood, and it is often linked with inadequate sleep and fatigue. The temptation is to artificially and temporarily eliminate feelings of fatigue with stimulants like caffeine, but this approach does more harm than good in the long run. Though caffeine provides an initial boost of energy, it is no substitute for sleep, and is likely to keep you awake.
Try avoiding nightshade vegetables. Nightshade vegetables like tomatoes, potatoes, and eggplant may trigger arthritis and pain conditions in some people.
Be Careful with Your Fats. Animal based omega-3 fats like DHA and EPA have been touted as a heart-healthy food, and they may help with pain, as well. They can help reduce inflammation and improve brain function. At the same time, you want to eliminate all trans fat and fried foods, as these will promote inflammation.
Use yeast sparingly. Consuming yeast may also contribute to the growth of yeast fungus, which can contribute to pain.
Avoid pasteurized dairy. Many fibromyalgia sufferers have trouble digesting milk and dairy products. However, many find that raw dairy products, especially from grass fed organic sources, are well tolerated.
Cut down on carbs.About 90 percent of fibromyalgia patients have low adrenal functioning, which affects metabolism of carbohydrates and may lead to hypoglycemia.
Avoid aspartame.The artificial sweetener found in some diet sodas and many sugar-free sweets is part of a chemical group called excitotoxins, which activate neurons that can increase your sensitivity to pain.
Avoid additives.Food additives such as monosodium glutamate (MSG) often cause trouble for pain patients. MSG is an excitatory neurotransmitter that may stimulate pain receptors; glutamate levels in spinal fluid have been shown to correlate with pain levels in fibromyalgia patients.
Stay away from junk food. Limit or eliminate fast food, candy, and vending-machine products. In addition to contributing to weight gain and the development of unhealthy eating habits, these diet-wreckers may also irritate your muscles, disrupt your sleep, and compromise your immune system.
Visit Dr. Mercola’s website for a free newsletter and more great articles
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Morticia

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Edited to remove the long, involved and fairly boring story.
Because you know you're affected by the seasonal sunshine, or lack thereof, you need to make changes leading up to the season of darkness (ha, ha). These could involve dietary changes, exercise changes (oh, yeah, right, get out and exercise, what a fantasy) and changes to your daily way of doing things.
If you are presently employed, can you change your schedule so you at least see sunlight on the way to work or on the way home or during the day (a window nearby)?
It's kind of like saying to yourself, 'Just for this one day, I will function. I will get up. I will eat. I will go to work. Just for today, tomorrow I can stay in bed.' (And then tell yourself the same thing the next day.)
 
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