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It's Wooley in the Wilds of Texas

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Proud Texan

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Remember the old Groucho Marx joke, "Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas.... how he got into my pajamas I'll never know", well, I can sort of relate.
At the moment we have no guest and I was working on my first cup of coffee while looking out over the pond from our bedroom porch. As I looked across the pond I spotted a wild hog, about 100 lbs or so rooting around the creek bank. These critters are so destructive and are considered a nuisance animal. I very quietly set my coffee down and reach for my rifle.
I need to interject that I am not a hunter(by any stretch of the imagination). I carefully took aim and >click< oops I'd forgotten to put the clip in. I put the clip in, cocked it to get a round in the chamber and ended up ejecting a round instead. I carefully took aim again and >click< there had only been one round in the clip and I just ejected it. I removed the clip, reinserted the one round I had handy, slapped the clip back into the rifle, was able to get the round in the chamber this time...and what do you know the hog is still there.
As I looked through the scope of the rifle, I remembered to adjust the way I was looking through the scope. I didn't want to give myself a black eye from the recoil as I had done previously (I told you I'm no hunter). I took aim a third time, pulled the trigger and >BAM< down went the hog in a single shot. I couldn't believe it! I did it. I AM THE GREAT WHITE HUNTER! (insert Tarzan yell here).
For those of you who have never partaken of wild pork, you don't know what you're missing. I would get dressed and hop in my utility vehicle and attempt to recover my kill from the creek bank. DW was watching him for me as I slipped on pants, shirt and boots. By the time I got back out side, he had flailed about until he'd pushed himself into the water. All I saw when I got there were little bubbles slowly rising to the top of the water, slowly diminish, and then stop. No ham for dinner tonight.
 

Morticia

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Ewwww. You have a dead 100 lb porker in your pond?
 

IronGate

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gillumhouse

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The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!)
 

Proud Texan

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The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!).
gillumhouse said:
The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!)
Wasn't trying to scare it away. I meant to kill it and I did. If I could have recovered it, all the better. Those suckers have at least three litters a year. I, and every other farmer, want them dead. They are extremely destructive to property. They're also not good for business.
As for porker in the pond, if the turtles and fish don't get a coyote or a passing gator will. It'll be gone by morning.
 

gillumhouse

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The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!).
gillumhouse said:
The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!)
Wasn't trying to scare it away. I meant to kill it and I did. If I could have recovered it, all the better. Those suckers have at least three litters a year. I, and every other farmer, want them dead. They are extremely destructive to property. They're also not good for business.
As for porker in the pond, if the turtles and fish don't get a coyote or a passing gator will. It'll be gone by morning.
.
I had no doubt that you meant to get the sucker. Just from the reading, I could picture a Max Sennett comedy or Groucho picture.....
My regret for you is the loss of teh fresh meat.
 

Proud Texan

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The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!).
gillumhouse said:
The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!)
Wasn't trying to scare it away. I meant to kill it and I did. If I could have recovered it, all the better. Those suckers have at least three litters a year. I, and every other farmer, want them dead. They are extremely destructive to property. They're also not good for business.
As for porker in the pond, if the turtles and fish don't get a coyote or a passing gator will. It'll be gone by morning.
.
I had no doubt that you meant to get the sucker. Just from the reading, I could picture a Max Sennett comedy or Groucho picture.....
My regret for you is the loss of teh fresh meat.
.
UPDATE
This morning he had floated to the surface and I was able to get a rope around his hind legs and pull him out with my utility vehicle. Too bad I couldn't get to him yesterday.
It was considerate of him though. We have a reporter coming to stay the weekend to do an article on our B&B. It would not do to have a bloated porker floating in the pond. After getting him out, I think he weighs more than 100 lbs. I mean, look at the size of him. I'm a 200 lb. man and he's at least as big as me.

 

inncogneeto

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The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!).
gillumhouse said:
The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!)
Wasn't trying to scare it away. I meant to kill it and I did. If I could have recovered it, all the better. Those suckers have at least three litters a year. I, and every other farmer, want them dead. They are extremely destructive to property. They're also not good for business.
As for porker in the pond, if the turtles and fish don't get a coyote or a passing gator will. It'll be gone by morning.
.
I had no doubt that you meant to get the sucker. Just from the reading, I could picture a Max Sennett comedy or Groucho picture.....
My regret for you is the loss of teh fresh meat.
.
UPDATE
This morning he had floated to the surface and I was able to get a rope around his hind legs and pull him out with my utility vehicle. Too bad I couldn't get to him yesterday.
It was considerate of him though. We have a reporter coming to stay the weekend to do an article on our B&B. It would not do to have a bloated porker floating in the pond. After getting him out, I think he weighs more than 100 lbs. I mean, look at the size of him. I'm a 200 lb. man and he's at least as big as me.

.
Ahhhh! That's wild!
 

Proud Texan

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The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!).
gillumhouse said:
The whole thing sounds Groucho - try to fire a round to scare it away and end up getting dinner except it waves its little tail at you as it sinks. (snort, snort, GUFFAW!!!)
Wasn't trying to scare it away. I meant to kill it and I did. If I could have recovered it, all the better. Those suckers have at least three litters a year. I, and every other farmer, want them dead. They are extremely destructive to property. They're also not good for business.
As for porker in the pond, if the turtles and fish don't get a coyote or a passing gator will. It'll be gone by morning.
.
I had no doubt that you meant to get the sucker. Just from the reading, I could picture a Max Sennett comedy or Groucho picture.....
My regret for you is the loss of teh fresh meat.
.
UPDATE
This morning he had floated to the surface and I was able to get a rope around his hind legs and pull him out with my utility vehicle. Too bad I couldn't get to him yesterday.
It was considerate of him though. We have a reporter coming to stay the weekend to do an article on our B&B. It would not do to have a bloated porker floating in the pond. After getting him out, I think he weighs more than 100 lbs. I mean, look at the size of him. I'm a 200 lb. man and he's at least as big as me.

.
Ahhhh! That's wild!
.
Yep. We're a different kind of B&B. Not a doily in the place.
 

inncogneeto

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You should market it, come to Texas and bob for porkers!
 

Proud Texan

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Bob for porkers sounds like a politician named Robert who champions fat people.
 
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