life of a single innkeeper?

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I feel your angst....
I'm not an single, have been in a seasonal service industry on my own for 35 years.....
I've written and deleted 3 times......I just kept rambling into a diatribe of personal nonsense.
Cut to the chase....
You are a business owner......not many are cut out to do proud of your accomplishment and who you are.
Has life passed you by ?........perhaps
How many with a 9-5 job have their lives passing them by ?
How many married with kids have the same issues ?
It's all about perspective
I'm glad you realized and understand the "me" time......only one that is going to give you that "me" time is YOU...
Your you live it.....what you get out of all up to you. There is no knight in shining armor going to come to your door. There is no hero that is going to save you from yourself...........I know......I thought the girl of my dreams would one day fall into my lap...........Truth is.........they did, many of them. I was just to stupid to be aware of it. Allways had an excuse.......or just much to shy to pursue.
Don't sacrifice yourself for the business......don't live to work......Work to live........Go out, do the things or find that someone that makes you happy.....not for the momment, but for a life time
I like to think that we are aloud to live with just, so many regrets in our many, that is how you'll live your life.
Welcome. Between my City commitments and the B & B I understand your lack of ME time. When I get some, DH manages to find something HE needs. I may not be "alone" but when it comes to understanding what I do, I am alone. There are a few on here who can offer some REAL advice. One innmate did more rooms so she will be a wonderful source of advice..
hmm i can't seem to respond unless i reply to the last post.
anyway, welcome.

i ran an 8 room b&b as a single and it is exhausting and yes, lonely! all the guests coming and going but i felt stuck there. i wanted to go where they were going. or i just wanted to close the door and walk away.
everyone on this forum told me i HAD to schedule time off for myself. this place helped me so much. i could come here and rage, confidentially, and even read other perspectives, and then go deal. ahhhhhhhhh
i have no miracle answers for you. just some suggestions.
the very first thing i had to do was take some time for me. you must do this. even if it's only a few hours at a time, you must walk away from the phone and computer and away from there. scrabbling for money and bookings, how to do it? how to walk out the door (and i do mean walk ... the nearest big stores were a 30 minute drive away, the supermarket 40) so i had the general store to go to, 2 restaurants, a walk up to the lighthouse, or down to the docks or post office. that was about it.
i started having 2 night minimums on selected dates. and then, on the second night ... no check ins due, i walked out the door. left a note for all the guests that i was across the road at the general store for emergencies and i WENT. just to be out of the space, out of the building, was helpful. if i CHOSE to allow a walkin because not all rooms were booked, that was MY choice.
sometimes, i just locked myself in the bathroom and washed my hair!
sometimes, i took an empty room for myself and acted like a guest ... except i left a note on the door to my quarters to come to room xyz for help.
i made a few friends in the area and invited them IN. it made such a difference to be talking to people, relaxing, when someone checked in. how to explain that? i don't know.
i'm a widow, i invited the local (not so local) grief group to meet at my place on a certain night. too far!! okay ... i placed an ad on the local bulletin boards and once in a while someone would call and i'd say ... yes, come. and 2 or 3 of us would have our own little grief group.
i blocked out an entire night once in a while. DID WHAT?! scheduled an actual night off. just for me. this was advice from this very forum. i picked a night when i was least likely to get reservations. i studied my bookings. mid week ... i think it was tuesday night. blocked off all the rooms. looked again, just between two weeks of being booked solid on either side of a thursday night. blocked that out. yikes! lost revenue? yes, possibly. gained sanity? yes! ! !
every person who is self employed, who works out of the home, MUST set hours and set down time. must. do not think of this as something you can't do. think of this as something you must do. for you.
i left crazy fun messages on the answering machine that were a stretch or even a fib, but that i learned at an innkeeping seminar.
Hi. It's seashanty at the seashanty inn. The weather is beatufiul here so I'm off for a lighthouse cruise for a few hours. You can reserve a room online at www . seashanty or leave your name and number and I'll call you back. Don't forget to ask about our package deals that include one of these great cruises!
out on a limb here .....
i think you NEED HELP ... you need to find someone who wants a little money and you force yourself to see that this is worthwhile. just to sit and answer the phone for you while you take a walk or a drive. to help with heavy cleaning or flipping rooms or so you can take a breather. i realize that is a whole other issue ... employee payroll taxes and having worker's comp and all that. the only work around is to get a person who is self employed and who will be paid by 1099. believe me, having just ONE employee will be an enormous help to you. i trained one super housekeeper who was smart as could be but didn't have a high school diploma even ... i told her i wanted to promote her to assistant innkeeper and was she proud? taught her how to do checkins and outs, the works. when i had to leave as an emergency to attend a funeral, she stepped right in and took charge. no lost revenue, more wages to her, no hard feelings from guests.
i won't advise under the table ... maybe there are unpaid internships that you could participate in? way back a zillion years ago in college, i did a month's stint at a big company. no pay, it was for the experience. maybe some place who teaches hotel management?
best of luck to you. please do come to the forum and think of it as your time away. i used to jump in here (always having the computer on for online rez - you have those, right?) i'd take leftover cofee and come on in.
oh, another thing, i got up early and had my own breakfast before starting the guests' breakfasts. sometimes, not always, i'd walk over to the general store and say hello. come in from the fresh air and get to work ... it makes a difference.

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