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Don Draper

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Parents' weekend at a $40,000/year college. Of course no one is even thinking of eating (sniff, how very very droll to have to worry about something so mundane). Just LOTS of coffee and chit chat...keeping up with the Joneses...what kind of car is that, what grad school did Janie get accepted to, what kind of work do you do, where do you vacation...on and on and on.
Out of 9 sets only 4 are really bad but they are monopolizing the parlor area. I will not kick my guests, I will not kick my guests, I will not kick my guests...
The silver lining? NO check-ins today! So when they finally finish up breakfast at noon I'll be "done" for the day.
 

Morticia

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There's a certain element of that crowd that does not eat at all.
 

GeorgiaGirl

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Hey, I'm hungry right now, can I come over and have some leftovers?? I'll eat what they didn't!
 

seashanty

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i have a relative attending worcester poly tech. his parents are broke. literally ... cost of tuition, room and board, all together is $50,000. financial aid and a grant and scholarships later, they still have to pay over $30,000. and that's just for college costs. never mind the computer, little things like paper and pens, and clothes and travel home. they have a high mortgage and other debt and are in way over their heads. next term, he can do work study which won't make much of a dent. they may sell their home and move in with family ... because he is brilliant and the 'shining star' and neither parent got this opportunity.
if they came and stayed with you, i'm SURE they would eat!
 

GeorgiaGirl

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i have a relative attending worcester poly tech. his parents are broke. literally ... cost of tuition, room and board, all together is $50,000. financial aid and a grant and scholarships later, they still have to pay over $30,000. and that's just for college costs. never mind the computer, little things like paper and pens, and clothes and travel home. they have a high mortgage and other debt and are in way over their heads. next term, he can do work study which won't make much of a dent. they may sell their home and move in with family ... because he is brilliant and the 'shining star' and neither parent got this opportunity.
if they came and stayed with you, i'm SURE they would eat!.
seashanty said:
i have a relative attending worcester poly tech. his parents are broke. literally ... cost of tuition, room and board, all together is $50,000. financial aid and a grant and scholarships later, they still have to pay over $30,000. and that's just for college costs. never mind the computer, little things like paper and pens, and clothes and travel home. they have a high mortgage and other debt and are in way over their heads. next term, he can do work study which won't make much of a dent. they may sell their home and move in with family ... because he is brilliant and the 'shining star' and neither parent got this opportunity. if they came and stayed with you, i'm SURE they would eat!
Sorry, I love my kids as much as anyone else and want the best for them, but I am not willing to go broke or have to sell my home and move in with family to pay for college.....What will they do when it comes time for them to retire??? I bet the son won't take them in and repay them for all they did for him.....but that's just me and I don't know about anyone else!
 

seashanty

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right. i think they are confused young parents. had this son when they were 17. stayed together, now they are 34. they worked hard and they are proud of him ...... but i would not proceed the way they are ...
yes, he's brilliant. i'm sorry but i he was my son his star would be shining in some other (lower cost) school.
i really shouldn't have posted in this thread about them.
 

gillumhouse

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i have a relative attending worcester poly tech. his parents are broke. literally ... cost of tuition, room and board, all together is $50,000. financial aid and a grant and scholarships later, they still have to pay over $30,000. and that's just for college costs. never mind the computer, little things like paper and pens, and clothes and travel home. they have a high mortgage and other debt and are in way over their heads. next term, he can do work study which won't make much of a dent. they may sell their home and move in with family ... because he is brilliant and the 'shining star' and neither parent got this opportunity.
if they came and stayed with you, i'm SURE they would eat!.
seashanty said:
i have a relative attending worcester poly tech. his parents are broke. literally ... cost of tuition, room and board, all together is $50,000. financial aid and a grant and scholarships later, they still have to pay over $30,000. and that's just for college costs. never mind the computer, little things like paper and pens, and clothes and travel home. they have a high mortgage and other debt and are in way over their heads. next term, he can do work study which won't make much of a dent. they may sell their home and move in with family ... because he is brilliant and the 'shining star' and neither parent got this opportunity. if they came and stayed with you, i'm SURE they would eat!
Sorry, I love my kids as much as anyone else and want the best for them, but I am not willing to go broke or have to sell my home and move in with family to pay for college.....What will they do when it comes time for them to retire??? I bet the son won't take them in and repay them for all they did for him.....but that's just me and I don't know about anyone else!
.
I had one that was a party boy. He had a job at greasy Macs his junior and senior years. I had told my kids that I would stand them to 2 years at the local Community College to gettheir ssociates and they could live at home for no rent s long as they took at least one class a semester. HE was told (with plenty of notice) that he would be going on the same plan as my company offered. HE would pay his tuition up front and we would reimburse completely if he got Cs or better - less than a C would be oh well. He was our "one last summer" boy. We actually heard him turning down going out because he had a paper due.
Problem was, he also borrowed money for this and that and at the end of the semester, owed me more that the tuition so he asked if we could call it square. OK. But because the tuition did not cross his palm, he felt we did not live up to the agreement. When he noticed his buddies had done 2 years in the military to get college money, had graduated and were in good-paying jobs while he was nowhere, he worked full-time graveyard shift and went to school fulltime days to get his Assoc and then joined the Illinois National Guard for free tuition at a State U. Proud to say he is now a teacher and HE did it. Had I knuckled under, he would not have learned a life lesson. When anyone says they cannot afford to go to college they are lying - they do not want it bad enough to work for it!
 

GeorgiaGirl

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right. i think they are confused young parents. had this son when they were 17. stayed together, now they are 34. they worked hard and they are proud of him ...... but i would not proceed the way they are ...
yes, he's brilliant. i'm sorry but i he was my son his star would be shining in some other (lower cost) school.
i really shouldn't have posted in this thread about them..
seashanty said:
i really shouldn't have posted in this thread about them.
Don't worry about it, it happens more than we can imagine, parents feeling obligated to go broke to pay their kids education! And before anyone thinks I'm mean because I don't pay my daughters college, we do pay whatever her scholorship doesn't pay and since she's living at home there's no room & board to be paid, but I would never foot the bill for a $20,000 and up a year college! Never (well, I guess if we were rich and money wasn't an object I would....).

 

gillumhouse

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right. i think they are confused young parents. had this son when they were 17. stayed together, now they are 34. they worked hard and they are proud of him ...... but i would not proceed the way they are ...
yes, he's brilliant. i'm sorry but i he was my son his star would be shining in some other (lower cost) school.
i really shouldn't have posted in this thread about them..
seashanty said:
i really shouldn't have posted in this thread about them.
Don't worry about it, it happens more than we can imagine, parents feeling obligated to go broke to pay their kids education! And before anyone thinks I'm mean because I don't pay my daughters college, we do pay whatever her scholorship doesn't pay and since she's living at home there's no room & board to be paid, but I would never foot the bill for a $20,000 and up a year college! Never (well, I guess if we were rich and money wasn't an object I would....).

.
What is worse than the going broke paying for the college education (in my opinion) is the $30,000 wedding that parents think they have to have for their daughters - and the wedding lasts longer than the marriage!
I have 3 daughters. The first one had her wedding in her front yard and the reception was a "dish-to-pass" because it was only friends and family and she and the groom paid for the canopy & chaiirs rental. Situation at the time was such she asked her uncle to escort her (situation since repaired and all is well). Marriage lasted about 7 years.
Second daughter chose to go to the courthouse for first wedding. Second wedding was in Iowa in 2007. They paid for everything. Still married.
Third daughter says no way, jose! NO ONE is going to spend MY money except ME.
The 3 boys paid for their weddings also. I got away unscathed.
 

Don Draper

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We do have few sets who are true working class families and their kids work to pay or they're on scholarship...they are the nicest people you'd ever want to meet.
But for the other type it's just really funny...it is not a top echelon school. These people had the money to send Johnny to Harvard or Yale, but Johnny couldn't get in there so had to come here instead. You can feel the inferiority complex which escalates the "Keeping up with the Joneses" mentality.
Overall it wasn't terrible. I made the pecan pie muffins and I made them small so those who ate them at all of them and really enjoyed them. That's a major victory for this weekend!
 

MTLLodge

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I made the pecan pie muffins for the family and everybody loves them!
 

JBloggs

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There are plenty of people who have one spouse working full time ONLY to pay for the child's college tuition. PLENTY.
 

gillumhouse

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There are plenty of people who have one spouse working full time ONLY to pay for the child's college tuition. PLENTY..
One of my friends at my Illinois job used to come into my cube to talk. His wife had worked part-time and that was OK because it was her "pin money". Then the oldest was about to graduate and go to college & Mama was laid off from the part-time job. So she got a full-time job to pay for kid's college. He was uncomfortable with her new independence - she would stop off and pick-up dinner or go shopping whenever, stuff like that and he was not sure he liked it. I pointed out that before, she came home because she had to and now she came home because she wanted to. That made it OK - he had not thought of that!
 

YellowSocks

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Parent's weekend here, too. Wonderful guests... repeats taking up two of the four rooms.
Well... except for the fact that I ended up doing two checkins this morning before noon....
But! They eat, they're happy, and I had a lovely (easy) afternoon and evening.
I'm soooo glad we picked unpretentious Ashland!! (There are at least four much more pretentious within an hour or so of here.)
=)
Kk.
 

Don Draper

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Oh, so happy to have some experience under our belts: It's 9 am and 2 out of 20 people have eaten, we're waiting and chatting. Big rush of 8 people comes so we are in the process of serving them when another woman stops hubs to ask if she can have breakfast in her room. He didn't even pause, just smiled and said "I'd prefer if you didn't, we're having blueberry French toast this morning and the syrup can get a little messy". Then he gave her a glass if she wanted to take some juice up with her. She just said "Ok" and got coffee and moved on.
Our first year here we would have stammered and not been sure, tried to please, and ended up cleaning blueberry syrup off the beautiful new yellow comforter later. Sometimes just knowing how to word something can make such a difference. Firm and pleasant...I was so proud of him.
Oh, and did I mention she was standing there in her BARE FEET in the dining room when she asked this? I think that is gross....blech.
 

YellowSocks

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Oh, so happy to have some experience under our belts: It's 9 am and 2 out of 20 people have eaten, we're waiting and chatting. Big rush of 8 people comes so we are in the process of serving them when another woman stops hubs to ask if she can have breakfast in her room. He didn't even pause, just smiled and said "I'd prefer if you didn't, we're having blueberry French toast this morning and the syrup can get a little messy". Then he gave her a glass if she wanted to take some juice up with her. She just said "Ok" and got coffee and moved on.
Our first year here we would have stammered and not been sure, tried to please, and ended up cleaning blueberry syrup off the beautiful new yellow comforter later. Sometimes just knowing how to word something can make such a difference. Firm and pleasant...I was so proud of him.
Oh, and did I mention she was standing there in her BARE FEET in the dining room when she asked this? I think that is gross....blech..
InnsiderInfo said:
Our first year here we would have stammered and not been sure, tried to please, and ended up cleaning blueberry syrup off the beautiful new yellow comforter later. Sometimes just knowing how to word something can make such a difference. Firm and pleasant...I was so proud of him.
YAY! Good for you!
=)
Kk.
 

Country Girl

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We have 3 in college right now. The oldest is in law school so he's pretty much on his own, the second is a senior and the youngest will graduate in 2011. We have postponed doing so many things we'd like to do to put them through school. It's the one financial thing we wanted to do for our children, give them the best education we could afford. It's been really, really hard at times, but we have no regrets. They are all hard working, appreciative, loving, and socially conscientious people. We will be singing joyful hymns though when our youngest graduates! Then it's a trip to wherever we want to go!!!
 

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We had one go to school which was not a 50k SCHOOL by the way and it was hard, the whole family chipped in from grandparnts to aunts and so forth for her to throw it all away. I was so upset that I swore that all I am going to do for the rest of them if they decide to go is fill out the FASFA and they will have to get jobs and pay for whatever is not paid for by loans and grants themselves because sometimes all the sacrifice you do for your children is not enough for them to appreciate unless they work for it then they can truly call it their OWN not "Oh mommy and daddy...blah blah blah"
But I guess if I where one of those "Jonese's" and had all the $$ in the world I guess I would cause that is what "would be expected" from us. but I truly think that the Jonse's of the world do their kids an injustice thinking that its their parents job...wrong idea to give the kids cause in the real world they are not going to be given the "perfect" job and that will shatter them. Working for what you want makes you appreciate the sacrifice that you make to get there. Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to help but to actually go broke for it..no way.
 
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