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What Percentage of PITAs are Women?

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SweetiePie

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My guess is 99.9%, at least that has been my experience. I've had almost no problems with men in my years in this business.
I had a light bulb
moment today after that call this morning, as to why that might be. First of all, women are more emotional; but more than that they are in desperate need of nurturing - which is often why they choose a B&B in the first place.
This may often be at odds with our needs as innkeepers; especially during the busy season, when we're pretty frazzled ourselves. I just thought I'd throw it out here for discussion as to how we might meet this need and perhaps save ourself some trouble down the line with this type of guest.
 

One Day

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All !!!
OK.....i'll go crawl back under my rock
 

Morticia

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A couple of things come to mind...most of the time it's women who call to make the reservations. For women, a vacation has meaning beyond being away from home or work. Sometimes it seems everything we do is fraught with subtext. Look at the holidays...how many guys stress over whether or not the tree looks as good as the one last year at someone else's house? How many husbands would open the door and let in all the holiday guests while 3 little kids are running around in their undies? The same number of guys who didn't notice the kids were in their undies so did not try to get them dressed and the same number of husbands who are wondering what they did wrong when a shoe comes flying down the hallway at them. The woman in this scenario wanted everyone perfect before the door was opened. The guy just said to himself, 'Doorbell's ringing, open door.'
More guys 'go with the flow' and take things as they come than women. More women worry whether or not everyone on vacation is having a good time. In my brief experience here and with all the men I've grown up with, guys don't care so they don't stress so they don't 'pitch a fit' when something isn't perfect. However, I've noticed more older women saying 'to hell with it' and not caring if her husband is enjoying his vacation, she's enjoying hers. Someone else is cooking, someone else is cleaning, someone else is picking up after her and her husband.
I've been glad many, many times knowing I do not have to drive 6 hours in the car with a couple who have just gone thru vacation meltdown when the guy says, 'Hey, c'mon let's go, we'll get home just in time for me to go over to Bob's house for the game,' while the wife is looking at a week's worth of dirty laundry and realizing, once again, tag, she's it for the garbage detail and he's fat, dumb and happy and off to the game with his friends.
So, how to offer that woman the vacation she wants and needs? If they've never been here before (so have no idea what all there is to do) I try to provide them with options for things to do. When they try to clean their table at breakfast I say, 'Relax, that's my job, you're on vacation.' When they are on the phone, I try to understand that planning someone else's fun is not fun. And also realize that SHE may have been ready 2 months ago to make these reservations and HE just got around to saying ok, so now she has fewer options and she's really mad at him, but I'm going to get the brunt of it.
BTW, here it's always been the guys who have yelled on the phone and called me names. You may get more cranky women because of the spa side of your biz.
I think your offering her the option to go elsewhere for a better experience (because it was too short notice for you to do everything she wanted) was the best you could have done in that situation. I try to commiserate when I can't help someone. 'Oh, I know, it IS so hard to make reservations around everyone's schedule. Here, let me give you the number of a place that I see has 4 rooms open tonight.'
 

wendydk

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Yes, more women than men.....women run more on emotions. But my pet peeve is smart-assed guys who think they're funny.
 

One Day

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Wow Bree....
Nice observations.....
I have found.....by no luck on my part.....in some cases, though not often....it's reversed
 

Proud Texan

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Yes, more women than men.....women run more on emotions. But my pet peeve is smart-assed guys who think they're funny..
Little Blue said:
Yes, more women than men.....women run more on emotions. But my pet peeve is smart-assed guys who think they're funny.
Hey! I resemble that remark!
 

Country Girl

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Bree, when you hang your shingle that reads "therapist on duty" there will be a line out your door. Well said....
 

SweetiePie

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A couple of things come to mind...most of the time it's women who call to make the reservations. For women, a vacation has meaning beyond being away from home or work. Sometimes it seems everything we do is fraught with subtext. Look at the holidays...how many guys stress over whether or not the tree looks as good as the one last year at someone else's house? How many husbands would open the door and let in all the holiday guests while 3 little kids are running around in their undies? The same number of guys who didn't notice the kids were in their undies so did not try to get them dressed and the same number of husbands who are wondering what they did wrong when a shoe comes flying down the hallway at them. The woman in this scenario wanted everyone perfect before the door was opened. The guy just said to himself, 'Doorbell's ringing, open door.'
More guys 'go with the flow' and take things as they come than women. More women worry whether or not everyone on vacation is having a good time. In my brief experience here and with all the men I've grown up with, guys don't care so they don't stress so they don't 'pitch a fit' when something isn't perfect. However, I've noticed more older women saying 'to hell with it' and not caring if her husband is enjoying his vacation, she's enjoying hers. Someone else is cooking, someone else is cleaning, someone else is picking up after her and her husband.
I've been glad many, many times knowing I do not have to drive 6 hours in the car with a couple who have just gone thru vacation meltdown when the guy says, 'Hey, c'mon let's go, we'll get home just in time for me to go over to Bob's house for the game,' while the wife is looking at a week's worth of dirty laundry and realizing, once again, tag, she's it for the garbage detail and he's fat, dumb and happy and off to the game with his friends.
So, how to offer that woman the vacation she wants and needs? If they've never been here before (so have no idea what all there is to do) I try to provide them with options for things to do. When they try to clean their table at breakfast I say, 'Relax, that's my job, you're on vacation.' When they are on the phone, I try to understand that planning someone else's fun is not fun. And also realize that SHE may have been ready 2 months ago to make these reservations and HE just got around to saying ok, so now she has fewer options and she's really mad at him, but I'm going to get the brunt of it.
BTW, here it's always been the guys who have yelled on the phone and called me names. You may get more cranky women because of the spa side of your biz.
I think your offering her the option to go elsewhere for a better experience (because it was too short notice for you to do everything she wanted) was the best you could have done in that situation. I try to commiserate when I can't help someone. 'Oh, I know, it IS so hard to make reservations around everyone's schedule. Here, let me give you the number of a place that I see has 4 rooms open tonight.'.
Good points Bree. I think that is why gays do so well with these type of women ie. hairdressers, interior decorators, etc. They know how to meet these womens' need for nurturance.
 

Samster

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A couple of things come to mind...most of the time it's women who call to make the reservations. For women, a vacation has meaning beyond being away from home or work. Sometimes it seems everything we do is fraught with subtext. Look at the holidays...how many guys stress over whether or not the tree looks as good as the one last year at someone else's house? How many husbands would open the door and let in all the holiday guests while 3 little kids are running around in their undies? The same number of guys who didn't notice the kids were in their undies so did not try to get them dressed and the same number of husbands who are wondering what they did wrong when a shoe comes flying down the hallway at them. The woman in this scenario wanted everyone perfect before the door was opened. The guy just said to himself, 'Doorbell's ringing, open door.'
More guys 'go with the flow' and take things as they come than women. More women worry whether or not everyone on vacation is having a good time. In my brief experience here and with all the men I've grown up with, guys don't care so they don't stress so they don't 'pitch a fit' when something isn't perfect. However, I've noticed more older women saying 'to hell with it' and not caring if her husband is enjoying his vacation, she's enjoying hers. Someone else is cooking, someone else is cleaning, someone else is picking up after her and her husband.
I've been glad many, many times knowing I do not have to drive 6 hours in the car with a couple who have just gone thru vacation meltdown when the guy says, 'Hey, c'mon let's go, we'll get home just in time for me to go over to Bob's house for the game,' while the wife is looking at a week's worth of dirty laundry and realizing, once again, tag, she's it for the garbage detail and he's fat, dumb and happy and off to the game with his friends.
So, how to offer that woman the vacation she wants and needs? If they've never been here before (so have no idea what all there is to do) I try to provide them with options for things to do. When they try to clean their table at breakfast I say, 'Relax, that's my job, you're on vacation.' When they are on the phone, I try to understand that planning someone else's fun is not fun. And also realize that SHE may have been ready 2 months ago to make these reservations and HE just got around to saying ok, so now she has fewer options and she's really mad at him, but I'm going to get the brunt of it.
BTW, here it's always been the guys who have yelled on the phone and called me names. You may get more cranky women because of the spa side of your biz.
I think your offering her the option to go elsewhere for a better experience (because it was too short notice for you to do everything she wanted) was the best you could have done in that situation. I try to commiserate when I can't help someone. 'Oh, I know, it IS so hard to make reservations around everyone's schedule. Here, let me give you the number of a place that I see has 4 rooms open tonight.'.
I get plenty of comments from women that say, "I'm not used to being taken care of (or pampered, or catered to)!"
I always say, "Like the young folks say, 'That's how we roll!' That's why a B&B is so much better than a hotel". :)
 

Breakfast Diva

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Hey, I'm starting a men only B&B WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!

Oh wait, who is the one on here that got the job at the men's hunting lodge? Let's see what she's had any male PITAS
 

SweetiePie

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We never heard from her once she and her husband got hired.
 

Tim_Toad_HLB

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75% male
25% female
The caveat for me is that usually if one of a party is a jerk, the other one tag teams us to join in on the "fun" to make our lives miserable.
Very rarely, but occassionally it'll be one or the other, but its mostly both halves of a couple. The men seem to be the mean ones, and the women seem to be the overly picky ones.
The women are the ones when cancelling who feign ignorance of the policies and then try to sweet talk us. When they don't get their way, then they get mean and indignant about it. The men just get nasty about it if it costs them anything.
Our "filet mignon on a hamburger budget" types who think their $125 per night choice should be a $300 experience and quality level seem to be more women than men. Give a man a comfortable bed, great food and they are usually pretty easy to please.
At least until they get some booze in them and want to challenge the established order around here.
 

JBloggs

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Define PITA and I will give my answer.
Not always inclined to feel the pita is all about the female, sometimes they are male inflicted. Example: guests midweek who require early breakfast emailed to tell me her husband will not eat anything that has an egg flavor. Could it be he would leave it on the plate and not worry about it, and she is taking the "mother" role and informing me to be "helpful" therefore becoming an "instant pita" from her email? Probably. Not many men have worried about any of this, if they don't like fruit, what do they do? Send it back? No they just don't eat it.
So for me, I believe much of the pita activity that drives the innkeepers mad on this forum is just "natural behavior."
I don't think it has anything to do with emotional creatures, the pitas I have had have never been emotional.
 

Morticia

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Define PITA and I will give my answer.
Not always inclined to feel the pita is all about the female, sometimes they are male inflicted. Example: guests midweek who require early breakfast emailed to tell me her husband will not eat anything that has an egg flavor. Could it be he would leave it on the plate and not worry about it, and she is taking the "mother" role and informing me to be "helpful" therefore becoming an "instant pita" from her email? Probably. Not many men have worried about any of this, if they don't like fruit, what do they do? Send it back? No they just don't eat it.
So for me, I believe much of the pita activity that drives the innkeepers mad on this forum is just "natural behavior."
I don't think it has anything to do with emotional creatures, the pitas I have had have never been emotional..
Those couples really irritate me. The guys do not speak to me. They either stare out the window or put the paper up in front of their faces. SHE has to do all the talking and generally will slip into the kitchen and 'just mention' that her husband cannot have whatever is being served. Nightmare situation because he will tell HER he DOES want it and she'll tell me he can't eat it. And all the while I am standing right there.
Plus the whole 'I won't deign to speak' attitude, 'my minion will handle this' irks me. Who knows, maybe I'm reading it wrong. Maybe he's not snobby, maybe he's scared to death to say boo.
And he's coming back in a couple of weeks! I just realized who I'm describing! 5 years now and I think the most he's said to me had something to do with wanting a condiment we didn't have and his sneer that, 'Of COURSE you wouldn't have that in THIS state.' So, OF COURSE, when he is coming I buy the biggest bottle of it I can find and plop it on his table along with the fruit.
5 years of his not saying 'good morning' or 'yes, thanks, I'd like some OJ,' or anything else that might pass for breakfast conversation, much less politeness toward the woman with the perfect opportunity to poison his breakfast.
And his wife fills in the spaces and he glares at her for interrupting his solitude. Right, he's not afraid to say boo, what was I thinking.
I'm trying a different tack with this type from here on out. I will poke the paper and say, 'Hon, you want any juice or not? How about sausage, will you be having any of that this morning?' Maybe I'll break out a couple of sticks of gum while I'm at it. I'll have to practice snapping my gum while I talk. And I'll put the Bronx on while I'm at it. Oh joy, I can't wait!
 

The Farmers Daughter

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I have had both male and female PITAS. My big pet peeve are the men who come as part of a couple, but then hit on you when the girl friend is not present.
Freaking' DOGS!
 

YellowSocks

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I haven't had many real, honest-to-goodness pitas, but those that have tended that way have been women.
=)
Kk.
 

Proud Texan

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I have had both male and female PITAS. My big pet peeve are the men who come as part of a couple, but then hit on you when the girl friend is not present.
Freaking' DOGS!.
The Farmers Daughter said:
I have had both male and female PITAS. My big pet peeve are the men who come as part of a couple, but then hit on you when the girl friend is not present.

I really HATE that, especially when it happens to me.

 
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