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You can all thank me now...

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Morticia

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...because all the obnoxious guests are here and not at your place(s). This is a short rundown of the past 24 hours. Stop reading whenever you start to feel faint...
  • Queen of DeNial has gone and taken child who has no problems at home back home. All they left behind were 2 huge bags of trash. And the wafting odor of, well, never mind, they're gone.
  • Spent 2 hours at laundry yesterday. Washer is delayed until NEXT Tuesday. Will never shop for an appliance at Lowes' ever again. Never again. Come home to the following:
  • Check-in yesterday defies description so I won't even try. May-December isn't even close. 5000 questions at check-in, what they don't want for dinner, aren't there any more exotic places, what's the local specialty, on and on. Go to room. They look. Noses so far in the air, they sniff, 'I guess it's ok.' Guest demands extra blankets. I say, 'There's a quilt and a blanket on the bed.' Not good enough, need more. I bring second blanket.Then they turn on the bathroom fan and immediately say, 'We booked a non-smoking room, this is a smoking room, I thought we booked a non-smoking room, we always book non-smoking, but this is a smoking room, you said it was non-smoking, we wouldn't have booked if we knew you allowed smoking.' (Holy cow, take a breath in there and stop accusing me of smoking in your room.) They were, however, correct, the whole room reeked. Guests in the room next door are standing in the hallway listening to this. I offer another room. No good. I offer to air out this room while they go to dinner. That will work. (This has all taken approximately 25 minutes.)
  • Guest leaves, we race back to room to see what the heck is going on. Guest returns and says someone is smoking outside their window. Problem solved (except guest is weird beyond belief.)
  • Earlier, another guest had checked in...wants 'well done' sausage. Heck, I can burn sausage with the best of them. This morning, I see sausage is still on plate, I ask if it wasn't cooked enough? 'Oh, it was, but I don't like the taste of this sausage.'
  • Another guest sees radio collection and asks if she can take one to her room? I say they are just for display. 'There IS a radio in the room I hope.' Now why would you hope that? Absolutely needs a radio, should have packed one, can't sleep without one, why are there no radios in the room?' I say, 'Here, let's plug this one in and see what it sounds like,' and grab antique radio off mantel and take to room. (Hubs is furious when I tell him.)
  • This morning...same guest who doesn't like the sausage can't connect to internet. 'Signal keeps going in and out, thought you advertised you had WiFi.' Look at guest's computer and he is connected to someone else's network (someone very obviously NOT us).
  • May-Dec at breakfast. Look over cereal, don't like choices, don't we have oatmeal? Hubs says we have instant grits, I could have killed him. No, they only like the slow-cooked kind, don't we have that? I thought hubs had totally lost his mind at that point. Then they want their milk heated for the cereal they finally chose. Other guest has milk out and offers it to M-D guest. He says, 'No we don't like milk in our tea,' and then takes it out of the fridge 2 seconds after she puts it away and pours into tea. Didn't like tea selection, don't you have...? I am cross-eyed by now. (And no, amazingly enough, can you believe it, I did NOT buy the tea they wanted nor did I buy more cereal.)
  • This morning...cleaning room of guests (sausage/internet guest) who stood and listened to the other guests complain about smoke smell. Same thing in their room. What? Smoker is long gone. Where is this coming from? Close all windows to see if we can narrow this down. Now have my first (yes, THIS is my first) 'do not book' guest. The guests who listened to the other guests complaining about smoke smell? Smoked up a storm in their bathroom. 60+ yos. Cig ash all over the place. If that couple had walked back in at that point, I would have slapped them both.
  • Also this morning...go into May-Dec room, big sign on bed, 'Do not touch bed!' He mentioned at breakfast they sleep in sleeping bags. Huh? Then what do you need 3 blankets for? I am doing such a ton of laundry tomorrow, I can see that coming a mile away.
  • Same room...shower door broken off hinge. Hubs has to fix, I have to clean rest of rooms.
  • Next room guests had complained about floor lamp flickering. Whew! Easy peasy, new lightbulb.
  • Pee palace is next up and last. Strip entire room and haul mattress & boxspring out to trash. Not sure how we get rid of that, tho, no one will take it away. Install new mattress & boxspring but floor needs to be shampooed as kid's wet clothes were piled up yesterday. And everything in room has to go to laundromat.
  • Finally finish cleaning rooms at 3 PM. Head to laundry with 5 washer loads. Home in time to make own bed and vacuum (but not put vacuum away) before daughter arrives.
  • Hubs finishes washing our clothes in basement (we have the second washer which is where all the towels have been done), then heads out to do groceries.
  • I make cookies fro guests. LOVE that p-nut butter recipe, just LOVE it.
  • Have lovely time at dinner with daughter & g-kids at EIGHT PM, when we could finally get away.
  • 10 PM, kids in bed, hubs sound asleep, I had to tell story...
So, thank me anytime... they were all here last night...
 

swirt

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Ooof... that is a doozy of a day. Sorry.
 

Morticia

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YellowSocks said:
I revere you.
No matter how long I operate as a B&B, I will never, ever meet the mark you have set for me.
You get the Innkeeping PITA Pentathlon Gold Medal, for sure!
=)
Kk.
I should get a heptathlon medal, I have 7 rooms...
 

YellowSocks

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I revere you.
No matter how long I operate as a B&B, I will never, ever meet the mark you have set for me.
You get the Innkeeping PITA Heptathlon Gold Medal, for sure!
=)
Kk.
 

YellowSocks

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YellowSocks said:
I revere you.
No matter how long I operate as a B&B, I will never, ever meet the mark you have set for me.
You get the Innkeeping PITA Pentathlon Gold Medal, for sure!
=)
Kk.
I should get a heptathlon medal, I have 7 rooms...
.
Ooops, you're right!
Or maybe whatever you call that best all around medal...
=)
Kk.
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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I better read this tomorrow when I can focus,,,sausage/internet guest threw me for a loop just skimming it.
 

Samster

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Here is your silver lining:
You have guests! We have none
, not even PITA guests or DNR guests. Zero, zilch, nada & none on the horizon for quite some time. The other B&Bs don't have guests either.
They stay, they pay, they go away........

Enjoy the time with your daughter & grandkids. I hope you get a short break from the biz.
 

gillumhouse

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You have my eternal gratitude. May all future PITAs find an island to visit...
So far 1 paying guest in August (last week) and 4 freebies (2 last weekend and 2 MABB members later this month). Thankfully Sept & Oct are looking as lovely as the previous 4 months. Oh well, could change with a phone call.
 

seashanty

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bree --
----
----
i really don't know what to say ........
thank you?
 

The Tipsy Butler

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OMG - there is absolutely nothing I can say that will even approach how bad I feel for you ...... and YES - immensely grateful. Makes my weekend seem like a gentle stroll in the park.
 

Cathy

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Wow, and wow again. Thank goodness we have not had that problem ... yet. We do hope that our guests coming today at 10 (they are half hour late) are not the PITA that they sounded like on the phone. This is our weekend of the wedding party from the USA that said if we were worthy they would also post an review on TA for us. Not looking forward to them either.
Can you not like people before they arrive? I already don't want to do anything extra for either of these groups. :s
Question: Has any one ever asked a guest to leave and just give them their money back?
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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Bree,
Are you still doing all of this with no hired help?
I did something just now. I was upstairs in tourettes mode, honestly 5 years later and "bring this robe to this room and DD cannot figure it out." It is much more work to redo everything. I am being very mean and aggressive right now with them. I am being truthful.
I told Dh if I place an AD I will lose more time and effort and energy as last time we had 200 people reply and it overwhelmed me and I shut the door on the whole deal. MEN, OLD LADIES...
I just called the manager of the local hotel and asked him for his spares. He said he might have a couple, he's not going to pass the best over to me however! NK! But I said it would be seasonal 2 hrs a day 10-12 or 11 to 1 mon-fri.
i NEED HELP!
 

Morticia

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Bree,
Are you still doing all of this with no hired help?
I did something just now. I was upstairs in tourettes mode, honestly 5 years later and "bring this robe to this room and DD cannot figure it out." It is much more work to redo everything. I am being very mean and aggressive right now with them. I am being truthful.
I told Dh if I place an AD I will lose more time and effort and energy as last time we had 200 people reply and it overwhelmed me and I shut the door on the whole deal. MEN, OLD LADIES...
I just called the manager of the local hotel and asked him for his spares. He said he might have a couple, he's not going to pass the best over to me however! NK! But I said it would be seasonal 2 hrs a day 10-12 or 11 to 1 mon-fri.
i NEED HELP!.
JunieBJones (JBJ) said:
Bree,
Are you still doing all of this with no hired help?
I did something just now. I was upstairs in tourettes mode, honestly 5 years later and "bring this robe to this room and DD cannot figure it out." It is much more work to redo everything. I am being very mean and aggressive right now with them. I am being truthful.
I told Dh if I place an AD I will lose more time and effort and energy as last time we had 200 people reply and it overwhelmed me and I shut the door on the whole deal. MEN, OLD LADIES...
I just called the manager of the local hotel and asked him for his spares. He said he might have a couple, he's not going to pass the best over to me however! NK! But I said it would be seasonal 2 hrs a day 10-12 or 11 to 1 mon-fri.
i NEED HELP!
No hired help but the worst of the season is over now. We won't have anymore WEEKS of being full, just weekends and 3-4 rooms mid-week. It gets easier from here on out. I had the g-kids & daughter help out today!
 

Morticia

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So the M-D couple came in late last night and ate all the granola. Then they wanted more this morning and I looked in shock at empty container and said, affronted, 'I filled that last night before I went to bed, that's all I had in the house. Someone ate it.'
Still had to heat up the milk for corn flakes. She eats them one at a time.
 

EmptyNest

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Oh BREEE....you do need a break!!!! The daily affirmation for today is:
[h4]I am willing to ask for help when I need it.[/h4]Good luck
 

YellowSocks

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So the M-D couple came in late last night and ate all the granola. Then they wanted more this morning and I looked in shock at empty container and said, affronted, 'I filled that last night before I went to bed, that's all I had in the house. Someone ate it.'
Still had to heat up the milk for corn flakes. She eats them one at a time..
November's coming... put them in your book!!!
=)
Kk.
 

Copperhead

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Bree - when you do get a break, find that PITA magnet and toss it into the largest body of water you can find. ...Maybe the PITA's will still be attracted and the innkeepers of the world can sigh a sigh of relief.

Cathy asked if you could dislike someone before they even arrive? As you already know - the answer is YES!
And have never asked a guest to leave, but can't say it hasn't crossed my mind.
 

Morticia

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Hey! There's more! You think I jest...
Went out with daughter & g-kids earlier. Came in thru front door (not our usual door to enter the inn, but it was unlocked). Teen aged guest making hot cocoa. She has 2 mugs. She has a friend here with her so I figure friend is still in room. Nope. Friend is in laundry room with door shut.
Friend opens door and there I am. I say, 'Please don't go in there.' She apologizes all over the place. I think they locked themselves out of their room and she really had to go. Of course, this morning my g-son made a big noise about having to go to the bathroom in 'Grammie's secret bathroom' so everyone in the dining room knew there was a 'secret bathroom'.
Then I'm wondering, if they locked themselves out of their room, where is mom? Again, KIDS memorize the code to let themselves in. Adults couldn't be bothered. But, still, where is mom? And they're here ALL alone because when I got back there was a sign on the door and hubs was gone.
 

Morticia

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Did I forget to mention the poop on the wall in the bathroom?
 

Sanctuary

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I could never understand how one gets poop on a wall! But, I know it happens.
 

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