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You say tomato and I say ....

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The Tipsy Butler

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Everyone has their own style. I know we've had a long discussion on sarcasm recently so I wanted to share how and why it CAN work for me.
Fabulous guests just left ......
We had fun every morning exchanging stories / opinions .... always big smiles - they would bring up a story from the day before and elaborate on it .... bottom line a great fit and I can't wait to see them again.
They left early this morning. The usual "So nice to have met you" "Hope to see you again" .... just didn't feel right. What did feel right was .....
"you were horrible guests - so demanding and difficult. I hope we never see you again." All said of course with a huge smile and a twinkle.
Yes - based on my dubious judgement. Yes - I know one day I'll be wrong wrong wrong. BUT for them and me it was the right thing .... and they just called from the road to book another 3 day stay in February.
 

Alibi Ike

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It works on a lot of levels for a lot of guests. I've even done it on the phone with some callers. I will say it's mostly guys who handle it best. It's their usual way of being connected. Quite often, when a breakfast plate is wiped clean, the guy will say, 'Awful, absolutely awful. What's on for tomorrow? Hope it's better than this.' Wives almost immediately say, 'It was wonderful, don't listen to him,' but I've already come back with something along the lines of, 'I'll fire the cook, don't worry about tomorrow.'
Only occasionally have there been guests who push the envelope and it has gone beyond playful sarcasm and joking into the realm of PA behavior. And, I've seen innkeepers cross the line as well. Not knowing the relationship between innkeeper and guest I witnessed an innkeeper say to the other guests, 'Him? He's a real a**h*le.' Sorry, even if you know the guest really well, the rest of us don't know you, Mr Innkeeper!
If I'm being flip with a guest in front of a group I'll let on they've been here a lot. Likewise if a guest is being flip with me and it seems the other guests don't know which way this is going to go I'll give some history.
 

The Tipsy Butler

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It works on a lot of levels for a lot of guests. I've even done it on the phone with some callers. I will say it's mostly guys who handle it best. It's their usual way of being connected. Quite often, when a breakfast plate is wiped clean, the guy will say, 'Awful, absolutely awful. What's on for tomorrow? Hope it's better than this.' Wives almost immediately say, 'It was wonderful, don't listen to him,' but I've already come back with something along the lines of, 'I'll fire the cook, don't worry about tomorrow.'
Only occasionally have there been guests who push the envelope and it has gone beyond playful sarcasm and joking into the realm of PA behavior. And, I've seen innkeepers cross the line as well. Not knowing the relationship between innkeeper and guest I witnessed an innkeeper say to the other guests, 'Him? He's a real a**h*le.' Sorry, even if you know the guest really well, the rest of us don't know you, Mr Innkeeper!
If I'm being flip with a guest in front of a group I'll let on they've been here a lot. Likewise if a guest is being flip with me and it seems the other guests don't know which way this is going to go I'll give some history..
OMG - the a$$hole comment is simply awful. My default is "British Proper", but there is no doubt that, with the right guests, I have a lot of fun .... but it has to be the right guests and it always starts cautiously.
 

gillumhouse

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Tipsy, with your accent you could tell them to Go To H*** and they would ask for directions.
 

Alibi Ike

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It works on a lot of levels for a lot of guests. I've even done it on the phone with some callers. I will say it's mostly guys who handle it best. It's their usual way of being connected. Quite often, when a breakfast plate is wiped clean, the guy will say, 'Awful, absolutely awful. What's on for tomorrow? Hope it's better than this.' Wives almost immediately say, 'It was wonderful, don't listen to him,' but I've already come back with something along the lines of, 'I'll fire the cook, don't worry about tomorrow.'
Only occasionally have there been guests who push the envelope and it has gone beyond playful sarcasm and joking into the realm of PA behavior. And, I've seen innkeepers cross the line as well. Not knowing the relationship between innkeeper and guest I witnessed an innkeeper say to the other guests, 'Him? He's a real a**h*le.' Sorry, even if you know the guest really well, the rest of us don't know you, Mr Innkeeper!
If I'm being flip with a guest in front of a group I'll let on they've been here a lot. Likewise if a guest is being flip with me and it seems the other guests don't know which way this is going to go I'll give some history..
OMG - the a$$hole comment is simply awful. My default is "British Proper", but there is no doubt that, with the right guests, I have a lot of fun .... but it has to be the right guests and it always starts cautiously.
.
Right. Imagine the well of silence after that comment. No one knew what to say.
 

JBloggs

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Sarcasm and wit are not the same thing.
Sarcasm is usually a put down of someone else or something else. I don't feel what you said Tipsy is sarcasm at all. I think it is humour. I think it is fun. I think it is guest relations. Knowing when and how far to go is a gift. If you are a clever and witty person then it comes across well, if you aren't then it comes across rude.
Nope, not the same thing in my mind. Sarcasm may be funny to some, but it is always at the expense of others, always a dig. There is no kindness found in sarcasm.
 

The Tipsy Butler

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It works on a lot of levels for a lot of guests. I've even done it on the phone with some callers. I will say it's mostly guys who handle it best. It's their usual way of being connected. Quite often, when a breakfast plate is wiped clean, the guy will say, 'Awful, absolutely awful. What's on for tomorrow? Hope it's better than this.' Wives almost immediately say, 'It was wonderful, don't listen to him,' but I've already come back with something along the lines of, 'I'll fire the cook, don't worry about tomorrow.'
Only occasionally have there been guests who push the envelope and it has gone beyond playful sarcasm and joking into the realm of PA behavior. And, I've seen innkeepers cross the line as well. Not knowing the relationship between innkeeper and guest I witnessed an innkeeper say to the other guests, 'Him? He's a real a**h*le.' Sorry, even if you know the guest really well, the rest of us don't know you, Mr Innkeeper!
If I'm being flip with a guest in front of a group I'll let on they've been here a lot. Likewise if a guest is being flip with me and it seems the other guests don't know which way this is going to go I'll give some history..
I love understatement.
One of my "standards" is if I bring out something for breakfast and the guest tells me it looks good. A response could be:
"Oh Oh. I can only do looks good OR tastes good. I'm really working hard on combining the two, but I'm not there yet, so if you think it looks OK ......"
 

The Tipsy Butler

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Sarcasm and wit are not the same thing.
Sarcasm is usually a put down of someone else or something else. I don't feel what you said Tipsy is sarcasm at all. I think it is humour. I think it is fun. I think it is guest relations. Knowing when and how far to go is a gift. If you are a clever and witty person then it comes across well, if you aren't then it comes across rude.
Nope, not the same thing in my mind. Sarcasm may be funny to some, but it is always at the expense of others, always a dig. There is no kindness found in sarcasm..
I hope / think you're right. My sense of humour is never ever ever intended to be at the expense of anyone. I am very thin skinned when it comes to people poking fun at me so in some ways I'm probably overly sensitive to NOT making people uncomfortable.
 

gillumhouse

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Tipsy, with your accent you could tell them to Go To H*** and they would ask for directions..
DH said "hmmph" I'm still laughing.
p.s. - go Steelers.
.
Thanks. It is going to be an "interestin" Super Bowl if it is HIS Bears vs MY Steelers! Reuben is coming to watch the game w/DH so i have to go "provision".
 

agoodman

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The art of diplomacy is telling someone to F%^*& O** in a way that they look forward to the trip.
 

Breakfast Diva

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Sarcasm and wit are not the same thing.
Sarcasm is usually a put down of someone else or something else. I don't feel what you said Tipsy is sarcasm at all. I think it is humour. I think it is fun. I think it is guest relations. Knowing when and how far to go is a gift. If you are a clever and witty person then it comes across well, if you aren't then it comes across rude.
Nope, not the same thing in my mind. Sarcasm may be funny to some, but it is always at the expense of others, always a dig. There is no kindness found in sarcasm..
You're right on JB. I once stayed at a very upscale "chateau" b&b, and the innkeeper was so arrogant and full of himself. Each morning at breakfast, not only were we told stories that emphasized how much money he had and how great he was, but he made what I would consider racist remarks, but done with "humor", which was really sarcasm, to/about the wife of one of the guests. She was originally from Mexico, was very articulate, beautiful and on her anniversary trip. She was embarassed, but tried to laugh at the sarcasm and I mortified for her. I would never stay there again and would never refer guests there.
Sarcasm as an innkeeper can slap you in the face. Humor is what Tipsy practices and I can see why she charms all her guests!
 
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