A sleigh of Christmas puns

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Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles!
Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
Santa Jaws.
What's Christmas called in Britain?
Yule Britannia!
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.
How does the Christmas alphabet differ from the regular alphabet?
There's no L in the Christmas alphabet. (No-el, get it?)
How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas and happy Mew Year!"
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
What do you get if you cross a setter and a pointer?
A pointsetter.
(groan)
from www.komando.com
 
Love it. I'm posting some of those on the breakfast board!
 
Slow Christmas is obviously an idea whose time has come. Interest in Christmas lights candles, window Christmas tree lights of vintage Christmas, Victorian Christmas candles and candle holders for Christmas trees is increasing.
Christmas Candle Crafts
 
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thanks!
 
seashanty: Posted on Sat, 12/05/2009 - 12:15pm
Hello, 2009! We want our Morticia back!
 
Morticia said:
Arks said:
seashanty: Posted on Sat, 12/05/2009 - 12:15pm
Hello, 2009! We want our Morticia back!.
Click to expand...
Arks said:
seashanty: Posted on Sat, 12/05/2009 - 12:15pm
Hello, 2009! We want our Morticia back!
Click to expand...
Are you sure? Really, really sure?
.
Click to expand...
Morticia said:
Arks said:
seashanty: Posted on Sat, 12/05/2009 - 12:15pm
Hello, 2009! We want our Morticia back!
Click to expand...
Are you sure? Really, really sure?
Click to expand...
Definitely!
 
It is hard not to think of Groucho Marx at a time like this. I REALLY wanted to say it.
 
who pulled these out of the wayback machine?? (yup, two question marks)
 
EmptyNest: spammer
happykeeper: I thought of Arks.
Same thing!
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morticia takes me back to my childhood. i almost didn't watch the addams family when it first came on, i was afraid it was going to be like bonanza. surprise! i wanted to BE morticia although i didn't want to be with gomez. ha! i loved cleopatra the plant she fed meatballs to i also liked it when her cousin ophelia would come to visit. with flowers growing out of her head!
 
seashanty said:
morticia takes me back to my childhood. i almost didn't watch the addams family when it first came on, i was afraid it was going to be like bonanza. surprise! i wanted to BE morticia although i didn't want to be with gomez. ha! i loved cleopatra the plant she fed meatballs to i also liked it when her cousin ophelia would come to visit. with flowers growing out of her head!.
Click to expand...
I wanted to glide around the way she did. I practiced walking like that. Of course I also tried walking like an Egyptian. You know, sideways. Did we really believe people in Egypt walked like that?
And I thought the way they danced all the time was fun. Whose real life parents ever did anything so wild?
 
Loved Adams family, but hey, what's wrong with Bonanza??!! :)
Now you've got me started. I also loved The Big Valley and Maverick. Give me a western and I'll be happy, but I prefer the ones where a few saddles are emptied.
But then, I liked the dancing around the house too, Gomez with teeth clenched onto the stem of a rose. That's style!
 
Arks said:
Loved Adams family, but hey, what's wrong with Bonanza??!! :)
Now you've got me started. I also loved The Big Valley and Maverick. Give me a western and I'll be happy, but I prefer the ones where a few saddles are emptied.
But then, I liked the dancing around the house too, Gomez with teeth clenched onto the stem of a rose. That's style!.
Click to expand...
Arks said:
Loved Adams family, but hey, what's wrong with Bonanza??!! :)
Now you've got me started. I also loved The Big Valley and Maverick. Give me a western and I'll be happy, but I prefer the ones where a few saddles are emptied.
But then, I liked the dancing around the house too, Gomez with teeth clenched onto the stem of a rose. That's style!
Click to expand...
i wanted something other than a western because my mother wouldn't let me have a toy gun like the guys ... did barbara stanwyck and linda evans carry one ... very frustrating!
i liked the morticia - gomez sword fights and the dancing (even tho her dress had octopus tentacles on the floor) but i didn't want gomez tossing his lit cigar across the room and kissing my sleeve and back if i said something in french. hey, i was a little kid, and he was so passionate ... always looking at her with a slightly crazed expression ... what can i say? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRA3m_Se-q4
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