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Bridal showers- NOT at the inn

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Morticia

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I've been invited to a bridal shower. It's been eons since I've gone to one and now we are into the 'young' relatives getting hitched (so not friends or siblings or kids). I received a gift registry card with the invite, which is fine as I'd rather buy something they like than something I like that they think is hideous.
However, am I so totally out of it that it's not unusual anymore to put $500 items on your gift registry? And an item I think is totally absurd to ask for anyway (a kegerator). The majority of items ranged from $30 and up. $30 not being a bad price but it is for ONE item that is usually in a set. So, example...ONE bath towel is $30 and they need 4. I wouldn't buy 4, but I'd feel odd buying just one.
Why ask here? Because you're all ages and you've seen everything. What do you think? Should there be things on the list that everyone can afford or is it more set up so a group of friends will buy the Calphalon pots & pans set for $400 and all split it?
I'm going to the store with all of my 20% off coupons and buying a couple of the things they mentioned, having them wrapped at the store and possibly shipped from the store as I can't attend either the shower or the wedding.
The $75 photo frame also threw me...not an electronic one, either. A regular old photo frame.
 

Emily Spiers

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Wow...I guess I am totally out of the loop, too. I can't imagine spending that much money on a shower gift. Back up one second, I can't imagine asking for things that cost that much.
 

Joey Camb

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When my uncle remarried he asked for $1000 dollar rugs! my dad was not impressed as they were merging two homes into one so its not like they were short of stuff. What a friend of mine did as she wanted an expensive dinner service she used a service where you could put in money for it ie the set was $300 dollars so you could buy $40 dollars worth so she got the set she wanted and people didn't feel pressured to buy a whole thing. she was also asking for a sofa the same way too expensive for 1 person but $20 bucks from 10 people and its perfect.
Also it meant that if there was any amounts outstanding she could finish paying for it herself.
 

wendydk

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I would buy a gift card for the store where they are registered, in an amount I found comfortable...let them use it for whatever they want....I find asking for outrageously priced items highly offensive, especially in this economy.
 

One Day

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A bridal registry is or should be done so for what would be needed when starting out in married life.
Thos high ticket items..........sure.......there are folks that can afford some of that themselves..........however..........most will do a cooperative effert....
Take a $400 item.....this can be done between 2 - 4 different parties sharing the expense..........
My cousin did a registry for a baby shower........$1,500 crib, $500 stroller....for example..........they had something on the list that was like $20 - $25.......something they would need multiples of..........so I purchased throught registry $100 of that item
 

Morticia

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I would buy a gift card for the store where they are registered, in an amount I found comfortable...let them use it for whatever they want....I find asking for outrageously priced items highly offensive, especially in this economy..
Well, I think they are both gainfully employed so these prices may not seem extreme to them. I'm just wondering who of their family & friends they think can afford this stuff. And we're supposed to dress up for the shower. In the bride's favorite shoes...Manolo Blahnik. As if. Too many episodes of Se x an d the C ity?
I know a lot of 'wishful thinking' goes on when you're wandering around in the store looking at everything. But they could have picked a few more inexpensive items for those who don't have deep pockets, and not just myself.
 

IronGate

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A bridal registry is or should be done so for what would be needed when starting out in married life.
Thos high ticket items..........sure.......there are folks that can afford some of that themselves..........however..........most will do a cooperative effert....
Take a $400 item.....this can be done between 2 - 4 different parties sharing the expense..........
My cousin did a registry for a baby shower........$1,500 crib, $500 stroller....for example..........they had something on the list that was like $20 - $25.......something they would need multiples of..........so I purchased throught registry $100 of that item.
Call me behind the times, but a $100 shower gift does not compute.
 

Innkeeper To Go

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Morticia said:
However, am I so totally out of it that it's not unusual anymore to put $500 items on your gift registry? And an item I think is totally absurd to ask for anyway (a kegerator). The majority of items ranged from $30 and up. $30 not being a bad price but it is for ONE item that is usually in a set. So, example...ONE bath towel is $30 and they need 4. I wouldn't buy 4, but I'd feel odd buying just one.
If it's strictly a shower registry, yes, $500 seems a bit much. As for the $30 towels, don't feel bad just buying one. That's the whole idea. Six friends/relatives each buy one and they have the exact set they wanted. It's just the shower, after all. One nice towel is perfectly appropriate.
A request for a $500 whatever is not.
 

Innkeeper To Go

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Morticia said:
However, am I so totally out of it that it's not unusual anymore to put $500 items on your gift registry? And an item I think is totally absurd to ask for anyway (a kegerator). The majority of items ranged from $30 and up. $30 not being a bad price but it is for ONE item that is usually in a set. So, example...ONE bath towel is $30 and they need 4. I wouldn't buy 4, but I'd feel odd buying just one.
If it's strictly a shower registry, yes, $500 seems a bit much. As for the $30 towels, don't feel bad just buying one. That's the whole idea. Six friends/relatives each buy one and they have the exact set they wanted. It's just the shower, after all. One nice towel is perfectly appropriate.
A request for a $500 whatever is not.
 

seashanty

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i bought my niece a $600 tv as a shower/wedding gift ... and in lean times i bought two bread pans.
the wise couple will pick gifts in all price ranges. $30 for one towel is quite a towel! great if you can go in with someone on a gift. but those shoes? haha, i've never put them on my feet and don't care if i ever do.
my son is getting married next june. he and his fiance have both been on their own and say they don't need anything so aren't planning to register for gifts. i told them PLEASE REGISTER. i got married for the 2nd time late in life and didn't register for gifts. i told everyone, no gifts thank you ... just come to the wedding. well, that was a mistake. because people gave us random gifts of all kinds that we didn't like, want or need. it was very awkward.
one alternative is a honeymoon registry through marriott where folks can pay for a breakfast in bed or just contribute to the honeymoon cost. now THAT to me sounds very appealing, assuming i was going to stay at a marriot.
ps the tv was on the registry
 

gillumhouse

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I admit to being a fuddy-duddy. I never looked at the registery because I honestly never thought about it. When the cousins' kids started getting married, I gave sets of WV goblets (we came back to a dose of hills every year and I got a supply for the whenever needed) for the wedding gifts. for the showers, I bought a wicker laundry basket and put the odds & ends - measuring spoons, measuring cups, whisk, dish towel, etc in it. May have ended up spending just as much, but it did not feel like it as I could get it a little here and a little there. I gave the stuff I figured no one else would or if they did, extras are a bonus.
My KIDS did not get $500 wedding (much less shower) gifts from us - and I did not pay for any of the weddings, they did. Our Iowa daughter knew that us being there so she could have her Dad walk her down the aisle (the first one who asked for that) and dance with her (first time he danced with all the daughters) at the reception was our biggest gift financially. (Instead of saving for retirement when the kids were growing up, we took them on trips and saved memories.)
 

Mini

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If you know someone else going to the shower you could go in on a gift together from the two of you. Then it won't be so costly. I think it is getting ridiculous. What people spend on shower gifts now is more than what people spent in our day for a wedding gift. It sounds silly but now for shower gifts, I gift them a gift cert. to a nice restaurant. $30 is more than enough.
 

Morticia

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If you know someone else going to the shower you could go in on a gift together from the two of you. Then it won't be so costly. I think it is getting ridiculous. What people spend on shower gifts now is more than what people spent in our day for a wedding gift. It sounds silly but now for shower gifts, I gift them a gift cert. to a nice restaurant. $30 is more than enough..
My guess is there will also be the expectation of a wedding gift which is why I'm trying to keep this shower thing under control for myself. Given that there are, at present, 15 or so of these rels coming thru the pipeline, I don't want to get in over my head!
Odd to think about it, but I might not even still be around for the last one's wedding as she's just a newborn!
 

Innkeeper To Go

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If you know someone else going to the shower you could go in on a gift together from the two of you. Then it won't be so costly. I think it is getting ridiculous. What people spend on shower gifts now is more than what people spent in our day for a wedding gift. It sounds silly but now for shower gifts, I gift them a gift cert. to a nice restaurant. $30 is more than enough..
My guess is there will also be the expectation of a wedding gift which is why I'm trying to keep this shower thing under control for myself. Given that there are, at present, 15 or so of these rels coming thru the pipeline, I don't want to get in over my head!
Odd to think about it, but I might not even still be around for the last one's wedding as she's just a newborn!
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Morticia said:
My guess is there will also be the expectation of a wedding gift which is why I'm trying to keep this shower thing under control for myself. Given that there are, at present, 15 or so of these rels coming thru the pipeline, I don't want to get in over my head!
Smart thinking.
 

Samster

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Not unusual these days. I think a lot of these 20-30 somethings want it all right now. I would just spend what you're comfortable with for a gift or send a gift card for that amount. I'm getting into another crop of these niece/nephew possible wedding shindigs too.
Recent ones that we've attended have gotten cash gifts for their weddings. We are going to 2 weddings soon - neither are really super close to use (friends or kids of friends). Thankfully, we weren't included in other events. haha! :) I think cash will be the order of the day....they can always put it toward the honeymoon.
btw - Our son just got engaged! No date set yet....they are smart young people and know they need to be set better financially so it will be a year or longer probably.
 

wendydk

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Not unusual these days. I think a lot of these 20-30 somethings want it all right now. I would just spend what you're comfortable with for a gift or send a gift card for that amount. I'm getting into another crop of these niece/nephew possible wedding shindigs too.
Recent ones that we've attended have gotten cash gifts for their weddings. We are going to 2 weddings soon - neither are really super close to use (friends or kids of friends). Thankfully, we weren't included in other events. haha! :) I think cash will be the order of the day....they can always put it toward the honeymoon.
btw - Our son just got engaged! No date set yet....they are smart young people and know they need to be set better financially so it will be a year or longer probably..
Samster said:
Not unusual these days. I think a lot of these 20-30 somethings want it all right now. I would just spend what you're comfortable with for a gift or send a gift card for that amount. I'm getting into another crop of these niece/nephew possible wedding shindigs too.
Recent ones that we've attended have gotten cash gifts for their weddings. I think cash will be the order of the day....they can always put it toward the honeymoon.
That's how we did it, I already owned a fully furnished and equipped house. The cash we recv'd paid for the wedding reception.
 

Morticia

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Not unusual these days. I think a lot of these 20-30 somethings want it all right now. I would just spend what you're comfortable with for a gift or send a gift card for that amount. I'm getting into another crop of these niece/nephew possible wedding shindigs too.
Recent ones that we've attended have gotten cash gifts for their weddings. We are going to 2 weddings soon - neither are really super close to use (friends or kids of friends). Thankfully, we weren't included in other events. haha! :) I think cash will be the order of the day....they can always put it toward the honeymoon.
btw - Our son just got engaged! No date set yet....they are smart young people and know they need to be set better financially so it will be a year or longer probably..
Congrats!
 
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