Can we still have kids?

[reYOOPERed]

My wife and I are new to this and her biggest worry right now is will we be forced to not have or have less kids.
I don't see it because our room is large and has a sitting room next to it that could be a nursery. We also have a small room next to our room that doubles as a storage room (still working on making it an exercise room

) that has a bed in it and the previous owners had a child stay in there.
Is it too much to have a newborn and run the place? I know we will need a lot of help for her but my family is around and more than willing to help and we always could hire help.
Do you think a crying baby would cause too many problems to host guests? I think most of our guests have been such nice people they wouldn't even really make too big a deal even if they did hear a little crying at night as long as we handled it quickly.
Anyone have any insight on this?

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

That is a very personal question. Your marriage and family life s/b priority over any business imo.

 

[reYOOPERed]

I agree but do any of you have personal experience with having young children and running a b&b?

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

I will be honest.
I do not think it is fair to the child nor the parents to put them in a B&B and a very small space. Not to mention children/babies get ill and can cry for days and days. You cannot call someone in 24/7 to watch a child, nor to tend to your guests.
Now having said that, there are people who have raised 5 kids in 1000 sq ft home or apartment. But that was not the question. If you had an option, then having a baby IN a B&B setting would not be a positive environment for all involved.

 

[swirt]

Tight spaces and fear of disturbing guests could be very stressful on everyone involved. I can't recall how big your inn is but it is one thing to SAY "we could always hire someone". Make sure your financials from the B&B would actually support that. If you are starting up and you only have 3 or 4 rooms, the money to hire someone may not be something the place can support.

 

[Morticia]

The PO's of 2 of the inns here in town have kids. One couple has 4 and the other has 2. They did it. Albeit in a MUCH larger space than you are talking about. Here, at my inn, they had 2 bedrooms, bathroom, full kitchen, living room, dining room and office. At the other place they had 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and all the other common spaces I mentioned. Their own laundry room, entrance, deck and backyard.
I would not be a happy guest being woken up by a crying baby. You will be stressed innkeepers having to jump at the first peep from the baby. The baby will be stressed from your stress. If the baby's room is AWAY from the guest rooms, ok. If not, then see if you can expand the building to get the baby(s) away from the guests.
Something else you need to consider is the pregnancy part. How will you both function when your wife can't stand the smell of coffee and sausage? Can't bend over to clean or to pick anything up off the floor? The actual delivery itself, which will occur when it's least convenient?

 

[YellowSocks]

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk.

 

[reYOOPERed]

We have 5 guest rooms in the house and a cottage behind the house.
I hope that leaves a lot of room for adjustment of where we could stay if it becomes an issue.

 

[reYOOPERed]

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk..

I have a full time job but we do have a lot of family support on both sides. My parents own a big house with multiple rooms, pool, hot tub, sauna etc. so I would think even if we are there as they start to get into grade school age that could be a reasonable outlet for them.
I understand people thinking it's not fair to the kids but I was raised in a family business and most of the people that I know whom were raised in a family business (one of my co-workers grew up in a small family owned motel) have some of the best work ethic and are the best socially adjusted people you will find. I think/hope it imparts kids with skills that you can even learn in collage. I work with guys that have a masters and yet they are completely retarded when it comes to sitting down with companies and talking about business where as a kid growing up in a business environment can be leaps and bounds ahead of peers w/o even having an education.

 

[swirt]

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk..

I have a full time job but we do have a lot of family support on both sides. My parents own a big house with multiple rooms, pool, hot tub, sauna etc. so I would think even if we are there as they start to get into grade school age that could be a reasonable outlet for them.
I understand people thinking it's not fair to the kids but I was raised in a family business and most of the people that I know whom were raised in a family business (one of my co-workers grew up in a small family owned motel) have some of the best work ethic and are the best socially adjusted people you will find. I think/hope it imparts kids with skills that you can even learn in collage. I work with guys that have a masters and yet they are completely retarded when it comes to sitting down with companies and talking about business where as a kid growing up in a business environment can be leaps and bounds ahead of peers w/o even having an education.
.

I think you are probably right about the well-adjusted aspects. However it probably depends on what the family business is. The never ending nature of the day combined with the amount of time where someone has to be home waiting for guests to leave/arrive can make it difficult to have any spontaneous fun. Families need weekends yet in this business weekends are the busiest times.
These thoughts weigh on my mind as well as we contemplate the same thing.

 

[EmptyNest]

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk..

I have a full time job but we do have a lot of family support on both sides. My parents own a big house with multiple rooms, pool, hot tub, sauna etc. so I would think even if we are there as they start to get into grade school age that could be a reasonable outlet for them.
I understand people thinking it's not fair to the kids but I was raised in a family business and most of the people that I know whom were raised in a family business (one of my co-workers grew up in a small family owned motel) have some of the best work ethic and are the best socially adjusted people you will find. I think/hope it imparts kids with skills that you can even learn in collage. I work with guys that have a masters and yet they are completely retarded when it comes to sitting down with companies and talking about business where as a kid growing up in a business environment can be leaps and bounds ahead of peers w/o even having an education.
.

I think you are probably right about the well-adjusted aspects. However it probably depends on what the family business is. The never ending nature of the day combined with the amount of time where someone has to be home waiting for guests to leave/arrive can make it difficult to have any spontaneous fun. Families need weekends yet in this business weekends are the busiest times.
These thoughts weigh on my mind as well as we contemplate the same thing.
.

But, you have cottages and the guests are not in your home..so that makes a big difference.
When YOU get up for the 3 AM feeding..you won't be disturbing your guests

 

[seashanty]

We have 5 guest rooms in the house and a cottage behind the house.
I hope that leaves a lot of room for adjustment of where we could stay if it becomes an issue..

your place will be baby and child friendly. guests need to be told that little ones are in the house and underfoot and that their little ones are welcome. you will likely have baby proofed and child proofed rooms plus books and gear. this is how i can see it working for you. that's your niche. i get lots of calls from folks with small children looking for places to stay.

 

[EmptyNest]

I will be honest.
I do not think it is fair to the child nor the parents to put them in a B&B and a very small space. Not to mention children/babies get ill and can cry for days and days. You cannot call someone in 24/7 to watch a child, nor to tend to your guests.
Now having said that, there are people who have raised 5 kids in 1000 sq ft home or apartment. But that was not the question. If you had an option, then having a baby IN a B&B setting would not be a positive environment for all involved..

I am with you on this. I think raising a family comes first. A B & B is a money pit which will take away from your family needs. I know there are innkeepers here who are doing it successfully and more power to you. But with a newborn and trying to run a B &B where you live in the same home your guests are staying....at the same time...yowsa!!!! Nothing I would want to do. Sorry.

 

[swirt]

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk..

I have a full time job but we do have a lot of family support on both sides. My parents own a big house with multiple rooms, pool, hot tub, sauna etc. so I would think even if we are there as they start to get into grade school age that could be a reasonable outlet for them.
I understand people thinking it's not fair to the kids but I was raised in a family business and most of the people that I know whom were raised in a family business (one of my co-workers grew up in a small family owned motel) have some of the best work ethic and are the best socially adjusted people you will find. I think/hope it imparts kids with skills that you can even learn in collage. I work with guys that have a masters and yet they are completely retarded when it comes to sitting down with companies and talking about business where as a kid growing up in a business environment can be leaps and bounds ahead of peers w/o even having an education.
.

I think you are probably right about the well-adjusted aspects. However it probably depends on what the family business is. The never ending nature of the day combined with the amount of time where someone has to be home waiting for guests to leave/arrive can make it difficult to have any spontaneous fun. Families need weekends yet in this business weekends are the busiest times.
These thoughts weigh on my mind as well as we contemplate the same thing.
.

But, you have cottages and the guests are not in your home..so that makes a big difference.
When YOU get up for the 3 AM feeding..you won't be disturbing your guests

.

This is true in my case. The noise would be a non-issue except perhaps during breakfast time.
I look at it more in terms of free time for doing family stuff. The summer is pretty much gone and I've managed to go kayak on the lake twice (all I have to do it walk down a flight stairs and push the thing in the water) and we've used the power boat twice as well.....that is pretty sad for the whole summer (especially when for us weatherwise it has been pretty good weather). I think, if I can't even find the time to do something I enjoy that doesn't even require that much time or preparation.... how could I raise a child while running the B&B? Many options, much to consider

 

[Penelope]

Seashanty, I agree with you. I think that by having kids, one is more acceptable to having kids as guests. It can be your niche. It can be the "what" that you do.
Will it be difficult? YES! Will it be stressful? YES! Will it be worth it? It's only for you to answer.
I have 2 kids, ages 10 & 9 and we are looking at B&Bs right now. I think that it will help us define who we are in the B&B scene because we will be parents. As our kids grow and leave (hopefully) we will be able to change, too.
Good luck!!!

 

[Willowpondgj]

If I was going for the niche factor then, yes, but in reality, for me personally, I wouldn't do this with young children. Not to be the pessimist but....
We started when our son was age 7, daughter 13...and it's still stressful and hard on them, always having to be quiet...living your life around the schedule of the inn, remember, your guests think that you live to serve them, you couldn't possibly have a life outside of the inn.
What about school schedules and activities? How do you make back to school night in the middle of check-ins? (We did that one last night). What if your kids want to play out side and you have guests? Do they want to hang out with your kids? Most of the time, probably not!
We have to dance around these issues everyday, luckily we have a lot of SPACE and our kids are school age, so they are gone 8 hours a day, 5 days a week! But when the kids are home.... you are in the middle of check-ins- they are doing homework and chores, when you are trying to sit down to a meal together, you have to go check in all of your late guests or go to the door to address any questions or problems your guests may be having...Come back to the table and everyone else is done and clearing the table and there's your cold plate, the dinner conversation is over and now your kids have to get ready for bed.
Innkeeping is already an almost 24/7 job and trying to do it without sleep, you will be taking years off of your life. When you are up all night with a crying or sick child, you may be at the end of your rope physically and emotionally... oh, now add the 24/7 innkeeping schedule.
Tag teaming in the morning to get the kids to school and serve breakfast AT THE SAME TIME! On the weekends, when your guests and your kids are home, how do you share the space so that your kids don't feel like they are in SOMEONE ELSE'S house and have freedom and yet not disturb the guests? Who's watching your kids when you are cleaning the rooms, cooking, etc?There are a lot of things to keep in mind.
I will be honest, with a newborn, I would probably be hospitalized from exhaustion trying to do this, raising a baby, while rewarding and wonderful, is hard and draining, I think this job is the only thing I've done that even comes close to the energy drain of the 1st year with my kids.
And no offense but, if I was a guest trying to get away from my kids for a weekend, the last people I would want to be with would be someone else's kids!
If you don't plan well or have any major problems in your marriage now, start saving for the divorce and child support payments!

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk..

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk.

You know the saying about good intentions...
Well I don't think anyone could or should ever "plan" on relatives or anyone else helping out. You just set yourself up for a fall that way.
Things change. Situations change. My parents live a couple miles from me now and have NOT helped out in any way form or fashion. When I had the flu they did not jump in and say "Send the kids over so you can deal with guests" or "I will be there to check in guests" nothing, nada, zilch. No "I know you are flat out, we will pick them up today or take them to this appt"
So there are those who are helpful and those who say they will help. Then there is reality, you cannot count on ANYONE FOR ANYTHING. Plan to make it and do it all yourself, if they chip in when needed consider that a BONUS!
Having a baby in confined quarters and running a B&B is definately diff than toddlers, adolescents, tweens or teens. All of them are challenging, as we can both attest. Even our dear innkeeper in CA had a separate VERY LARGE house with cabins and had a difficult time balancing it all.
If a child needs to go to the ER - has happened here, and we are SINGLE PARENTS, one cannot go, one must be here for guests. Just when you need them WITH YOU, they have to stay here and cook breakfast or whatever time it is.
Basically, it is not impossible. But it is, imho, not advisable. You always need a back up plan. WHY DO I ALWAYS SAY THAT AND THEN DO NOT HAVE ONE!! DANG IT.

My back up plans are formed in the middle of crisis.

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

Come back to the table and everyone else is done and clearing the table and there's your cold plate, the dinner conversation is over and now your kids have to get ready for bed.
Story of my life right now, 100%. I am ADAMANT about FAMLY TIME. But it does not matter. The guests feel cheated, I am telling you this for fact. They WILL TAKE whatever they want to take. I GET SO ANGRY when a guest corners me and I KNOW MY KIDS are in the kitchen waiting to go shopping or to a movie. GRRRRRRR!
A guest at check out mentioned he met DH and said, But he didn't seem like he wanted to talk to me.
NO? Because he had worked all morning at the B&B and was off to Lowe's after working all week, and TRYING to spend some time with his family before spending all day in the heat on maintenance and restoration work here.
EVERY WEEKEND is GUEST TIME, NOT FAMILY TIME. Sometime in the evening IF people are checked in you can do stuff together.
People ask questions and don't want the answers.
You do what you have to do. You make the best, take advantage of any situation. If I was running a farm, and the kids had to milk the cows at 4am every day, they would LEARN SOME GOOD THINGS FROM THAT TOO. Obv any thing you do, any business, any thing at all has it up side and down sides. BUT - you have to weigh them carefully.
I could make more money and be home evening and weekends EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR if I worked outside my home/B&B.
But now I am able to call the shots, run this business as I want to, do whatever I like.

 

[Willowpondgj]

Come back to the table and everyone else is done and clearing the table and there's your cold plate, the dinner conversation is over and now your kids have to get ready for bed.
Story of my life right now, 100%. I am ADAMANT about FAMLY TIME. But it does not matter. The guests feel cheated, I am telling you this for fact. They WILL TAKE whatever they want to take. I GET SO ANGRY when a guest corners me and I KNOW MY KIDS are in the kitchen waiting to go shopping or to a movie. GRRRRRRR!
A guest at check out mentioned he met DH and said, But he didn't seem like he wanted to talk to me.
NO? Because he had worked all morning at the B&B and was off to Lowe's after working all week, and TRYING to spend some time with his family before spending all day in the heat on maintenance and restoration work here.
EVERY WEEKEND is GUEST TIME, NOT FAMILY TIME. Sometime in the evening IF people are checked in you can do stuff together.
People ask questions and don't want the answers.
You do what you have to do. You make the best, take advantage of any situation. If I was running a farm, and the kids had to milk the cows at 4am every day, they would LEARN SOME GOOD THINGS FROM THAT TOO. Obv any thing you do, any business, any thing at all has it up side and down sides. BUT - you have to weigh them carefully.
I could make more money and be home evening and weekends EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR if I worked outside my home/B&B.
But now I am able to call the shots, run this business as I want to, do whatever I like..

Amen! My Sista'!

 

[Willowpondgj]

It can be done, but it won't be easy.
My kids are 4-1/2... we moved here when they were 2-1/2, opened with one room at 3-1/2... they still cry sometimes, and I leap up to quiet them. I couldn't have had four rooms with them at 3, but something wonderful happens about the time they turn four and it's a LOT easier when you can tell them to go outside and play, or go downstairs and watch a video, and they [usually] sleep through the night
Having family around would have helped a lot. My sister is nearby, but she has three of her own so it's not like I can dump them on her over often. If my mom were still alive they'd go spend the night there a LOT.
It depends a LOT on your layout, your attitude, your energy level, your personality, and your babies. The more separate your space, the better. The more energetic you guys are, the better. Are you there full-time or would your poor wife be all on her own?
Of course, one baby at a time would have been a lot easier on me...
=)
Kk..

I have a full time job but we do have a lot of family support on both sides. My parents own a big house with multiple rooms, pool, hot tub, sauna etc. so I would think even if we are there as they start to get into grade school age that could be a reasonable outlet for them.
I understand people thinking it's not fair to the kids but I was raised in a family business and most of the people that I know whom were raised in a family business (one of my co-workers grew up in a small family owned motel) have some of the best work ethic and are the best socially adjusted people you will find. I think/hope it imparts kids with skills that you can even learn in collage. I work with guys that have a masters and yet they are completely retarded when it comes to sitting down with companies and talking about business where as a kid growing up in a business environment can be leaps and bounds ahead of peers w/o even having an education.
.

Most kids who grow up in family businesses don't have their parent's customers in their house when they get home from school and in their kitchen when they wake up to pour their bowl of cheerios. Their parents leave the house, open the store, put in their hours, close the store at 6 pm, work a little later and go home to their family and house, away from their customers and are home on weekends or at least on Sundays, in most cases, when they don't have to deal with the business and can have family time. Your customers will be in your house with your family 7 days a week. Your weekends will be about your guests, not your family.
You'll become a master of the silent screaming match.