Can't we all just play in the sand box and just get along?

[Sunshine]

How can our small (2 room) B&B possibly be a threat to the other B&B's or local Hotel when they all are larger, have more advetising $$ and their names are everywhere!!! Well, apparently we are! Someone wrote a really stupid comment on a local web site forum. It was a random comment, very vague, and asking if the food was trucked in from a truck stop!!!!! grrr. then someone went into our website and put in our guest book a porno website link!!!! double grrrrrrrrrrr!! Come on...!!! we are just small, just starting out, and can't afford to advertise all over the place like they do!
I did contact our website host and he told me how to trace the IP address and find out exactly who is doing it. He was able to narrow it down to the time frame and decerned that it was from someone who is from MO but who posted it while out of state (couldn't be exactly specific as I had deleted it as soon as I saw it). There is a competitor who has a nice B&B and she is currently out of state! I have only met her once but she bad mouthed the other B&B's and local hotel when I met her (yikes... perhaps one of those who talks behind your back types). But now I know so if it happens again I can do something about it.
I also emailed the local forum and he deleated the persons comments!
But why do people have to act this way? So immature. Grr yeah, I'm pretty dissappointed.. can't we all just play in the sand box and get along?!!!

 

[Morticia]

Let me suggest immediately that you do NOT have an open 'guest book' on your website. One of my neighbors has that and it started out really nice and now it is all trash and they don't remove the bad stuff. Maybe they don't know how to, I don't know. ANYTHING on your website should be moderated. Not after the fact, either.
What if you DO find out exactly who is trash talking? What will you do?

 

[gillumhouse]

Take a deep breath and calm down. Some people are like that. One innkeeper caught an innkeeper removing all of another inn's rack cards from a brochure rack. It happens.
I had a guestbook button on my web site until I started getting all sorts of crap from hackers. Had my hosting company change it to a blog button.
In regard to nasty comments on the local forum, You covered it this time. I tink I would post an invitation to one and al to come to your Open House to tour the newest B & B in town. We hope to be a nice addition to the B & Bs in town. ALWAYS remain positive in tone. NEVER rip another inn or poster on the local Forum. Make everyone know that you are the nicest, sweetest person and how could anyone ever say anything nasty about you?
My way of dealing with #$%^& in the past was to kill the SOB with kindness. It makes them look even worse!

 

[YellowSocks]

People can be sooo petty!!!
I am super blessed... we had a dinner party with the other B&B's in town, which was really great (four couples). Everyone had a really nice time. The other innkeepers are super nice, and we can feel comfortable referring people to each other. It doesn't hurt that we all have very different niches (at least, I think we do). After the dinner party one couple started going to another couple's church (the one where the innkeeper is also a pastor), so they're all getting along. Meanwhile we had the other couple come and visit us again... they've been doing it for 13 years and have lots of great advice (and horror stories!).
Anyway... now you know. What you say will be used against you, and they will talk behind your back. Not sure how big your town is but offhand it seems to me it was small (like mine). Which means, you can't talk behind her back, because people will know. I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around. In the long run you will be a threat... if you're genuine and sweet and hospitable and she's catty and petty and backbiting, who do you think will get more business?
Bummer in the meantime, and keep an eye out for trouble!
=/
Kk.

 

[YellowSocks]

Oh, and I forgot... as I learned in my Aspiring Innkeeping class (taught by Kathleen), the more B&B's in a town the better! It sends a message that there's something going on and you're a great town to visit. I've already had confirmation of this in talking with a guest while she made her reservation... lots of nice B&B's in Ashland, must be a really nice town to come to. Yes!
So, not only is your "competitor" not your competitor, he or she is silly to view your presence as a threat when you will actually help promote the impression that your town is a wonderful place to come and visit.
Such a shame...
=)
Kk.

 

[Sunshine]

Let me suggest immediately that you do NOT have an open 'guest book' on your website. One of my neighbors has that and it started out really nice and now it is all trash and they don't remove the bad stuff. Maybe they don't know how to, I don't know. ANYTHING on your website should be moderated. Not after the fact, either.
What if you DO find out exactly who is trash talking? What will you do?.

well, if its a local 'competitor' I will print out the info and go try to talk to them. If that is not successful, I will possibly take it higher up.

 

[Sunshine]

Yeah, your all right and we strongly agree with it. We never do talk behind peoples back or gossip. It's just plain wrong. we know it would only hurt us in the end.
Yes, a strong B&B presence does indicate a good place to 'visit'. We are working with our chamber and tourism departments to help promote that.
We will continue to do our best, and the rest will take care of itself.
Speaking of tourism; we just got a call.. we are going to have 3 people from the Missouri Division of Tourism come with 6 travel writers who are writing stories about the local places of business and local cuisine. They are not staying the night here (bummer), but they are coming here for breakfast. I don't normally do a 'breakfast only'. But this is a good publicity opportunity to get our name out there and most importantly its FREE. The City is paying for their breakfasts. yeah. Good things do come around.

 

[YellowSocks]

Yeah, your all right and we strongly agree with it. We never do talk behind peoples back or gossip. It's just plain wrong. we know it would only hurt us in the end.
Yes, a strong B&B presence does indicate a good place to 'visit'. We are working with our chamber and tourism departments to help promote that.
We will continue to do our best, and the rest will take care of itself.
Speaking of tourism; we just got a call.. we are going to have 3 people from the Missouri Division of Tourism come with 6 travel writers who are writing stories about the local places of business and local cuisine. They are not staying the night here (bummer), but they are coming here for breakfast. I don't normally do a 'breakfast only'. But this is a good publicity opportunity to get our name out there and most importantly its FREE. The City is paying for their breakfasts. yeah. Good things do come around..

That's marvelous! Wish it would happen to me!
=)
Kk.

 

[Copperhead]

HSV - I have been in your shoes. Just after getting our permit, we received a call and visit from another B&B owner. She was a very lovely woman, from a very predominant family in town. They had just sold their Inn, which would be turned into a high end restaurant. She gave me many pointers and one included info on the "other B&B" in the area.
The 'other B&B' had always been a thorn in her side, making statements on her website which obviously were to point out negative points to this lovely woman's B&B. (Well before guest books, forums, etc) This woman could not understand why she had been treated in such a manor and took it all personally.
After we opened and the inn had become a restaurant, it became apparent that this 'other B&B owner' started turning their attention to us. We heard all over town, with the CVB, State Welcome Center, etc. of negative comments this woman was making about us and our B&B. NOW at that point, we had not met. We just went about our business as we had planned. We developed a good working relationship with many of the businesses in town, the CVB, Chamber, etc. We were gracious and thankful and continue to do so today.
I think that what some people in business do not understand is that competition is a good thing. Why are McD's & BK always on the same corner. Competition attracts business to both businesses. It is Marketing 101. Just some consider that you may 'steal' their business and then work to discredit you.
My advise is to just to be yourself, be positive, be business like and have good work ethics. People can spot negative vibes and it will come though believe me. It happened time and time again, calls saying you are so much nicer than that lady at X B&B. I just grin (they can not see) and continue on. She is no longer in business!

 

[gillumhouse]

Yeah, your all right and we strongly agree with it. We never do talk behind peoples back or gossip. It's just plain wrong. we know it would only hurt us in the end.
Yes, a strong B&B presence does indicate a good place to 'visit'. We are working with our chamber and tourism departments to help promote that.
We will continue to do our best, and the rest will take care of itself.
Speaking of tourism; we just got a call.. we are going to have 3 people from the Missouri Division of Tourism come with 6 travel writers who are writing stories about the local places of business and local cuisine. They are not staying the night here (bummer), but they are coming here for breakfast. I don't normally do a 'breakfast only'. But this is a good publicity opportunity to get our name out there and most importantly its FREE. The City is paying for their breakfasts. yeah. Good things do come around..

Speaking of tourism; we just got a call.. we are going to have 3 people from the Missouri Division of Tourism come with 6 travel writers who are writing stories about the local places of business and local cuisine. They are not staying the night here (bummer), but they are coming here for breakfast. I don't normally do a 'breakfast only'. But this is a good publicity opportunity to get our name out there and most importantly its FREE. The City is paying for their breakfasts. yeah. Good things do come around.
I would walk across hot coals for that opportunity and no one would have to pay for the breakfast (although it is nice that it will be!). Do your best "knock their socks off" breakfast. and relax and enjoy the chance to impress writers. Tourism has vetted them for you so you KNOW they are legit. Trust me, one sentence in an article will do you ore good than the biggest ad.
Oh, sit back for a while, then approach the other innkeepers about doing an advertising piece together to highlight the B & Bs of MyTown and you can share the cost and point out the attractions of the area...... Sometimes the thought of being able to save money will bring people on board.
Congratulations!!

 

[Samster]

HSV - I have been in your shoes. Just after getting our permit, we received a call and visit from another B&B owner. She was a very lovely woman, from a very predominant family in town. They had just sold their Inn, which would be turned into a high end restaurant. She gave me many pointers and one included info on the "other B&B" in the area.
The 'other B&B' had always been a thorn in her side, making statements on her website which obviously were to point out negative points to this lovely woman's B&B. (Well before guest books, forums, etc) This woman could not understand why she had been treated in such a manor and took it all personally.
After we opened and the inn had become a restaurant, it became apparent that this 'other B&B owner' started turning their attention to us. We heard all over town, with the CVB, State Welcome Center, etc. of negative comments this woman was making about us and our B&B. NOW at that point, we had not met. We just went about our business as we had planned. We developed a good working relationship with many of the businesses in town, the CVB, Chamber, etc. We were gracious and thankful and continue to do so today.
I think that what some people in business do not understand is that competition is a good thing. Why are McD's & BK always on the same corner. Competition attracts business to both businesses. It is Marketing 101. Just some consider that you may 'steal' their business and then work to discredit you.
My advise is to just to be yourself, be positive, be business like and have good work ethics. People can spot negative vibes and it will come though believe me. It happened time and time again, calls saying you are so much nicer than that lady at X B&B. I just grin (they can not see) and continue on. She is no longer in business!.

This is a good story & great advice. I appreciate that you shared it with us! I'm a firm believer that "what goes around, comes around". There's no point in being snarky about other B&Bs in your area. I continue to believe that we really need to beat out the hotels ;-)

 

[swirt]

I think partly it comes down to a perception that there are a limited number of potential guests, and in some areas that might be true.
I think we are fortunate in this area that the wineries all discovered that they could attract far more people by working together than by being out for just themselves and that model has paid off for them very well. The rest of the tourism places (like B&B's) observed that and most of the time keep that lesson in mind.
That being said, I am sure there are cases of ankle biting going on. In some cases it might even be deserved. If you have a chance, send a few guests their way and make sure the guests tell them you sent them (unless of course their place is awful and you wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone).

 

[Sunshine]

Thank you all. Good advice. Copperhead that was a good story; and good point.

 

[Copperhead]

I think partly it comes down to a perception that there are a limited number of potential guests, and in some areas that might be true.
I think we are fortunate in this area that the wineries all discovered that they could attract far more people by working together than by being out for just themselves and that model has paid off for them very well. The rest of the tourism places (like B&B's) observed that and most of the time keep that lesson in mind.
That being said, I am sure there are cases of ankle biting going on. In some cases it might even be deserved. If you have a chance, send a few guests their way and make sure the guests tell them you sent them (unless of course their place is awful and you wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone)..

If you have a chance, send a few guests their way and make sure the guests tell them you sent them (unless of course their place is awful and you wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone).

I would give this a try with the understanding that it may NOT be the place that is awful, it may be the person! I tried this several times (see my previous post above) until I got a call back from the caller I had referred. The man said "I would think twice before recommending anyone else to that B&B, that woman is insane." After much apology, I recommended him to a couple of B&B's in neighboring towns.

 

[swirt]

I think partly it comes down to a perception that there are a limited number of potential guests, and in some areas that might be true.
I think we are fortunate in this area that the wineries all discovered that they could attract far more people by working together than by being out for just themselves and that model has paid off for them very well. The rest of the tourism places (like B&B's) observed that and most of the time keep that lesson in mind.
That being said, I am sure there are cases of ankle biting going on. In some cases it might even be deserved. If you have a chance, send a few guests their way and make sure the guests tell them you sent them (unless of course their place is awful and you wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone)..

If you have a chance, send a few guests their way and make sure the guests tell them you sent them (unless of course their place is awful and you wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone).

I would give this a try with the understanding that it may NOT be the place that is awful, it may be the person! I tried this several times (see my previous post above) until I got a call back from the caller I had referred. The man said "I would think twice before recommending anyone else to that B&B, that woman is insane." After much apology, I recommended him to a couple of B&B's in neighboring towns.
.

Good point, referring to lunatics is never a good idea.

 

[Penelope]

HSV - I have been in your shoes. Just after getting our permit, we received a call and visit from another B&B owner. She was a very lovely woman, from a very predominant family in town. They had just sold their Inn, which would be turned into a high end restaurant. She gave me many pointers and one included info on the "other B&B" in the area.
The 'other B&B' had always been a thorn in her side, making statements on her website which obviously were to point out negative points to this lovely woman's B&B. (Well before guest books, forums, etc) This woman could not understand why she had been treated in such a manor and took it all personally.
After we opened and the inn had become a restaurant, it became apparent that this 'other B&B owner' started turning their attention to us. We heard all over town, with the CVB, State Welcome Center, etc. of negative comments this woman was making about us and our B&B. NOW at that point, we had not met. We just went about our business as we had planned. We developed a good working relationship with many of the businesses in town, the CVB, Chamber, etc. We were gracious and thankful and continue to do so today.
I think that what some people in business do not understand is that competition is a good thing. Why are McD's & BK always on the same corner. Competition attracts business to both businesses. It is Marketing 101. Just some consider that you may 'steal' their business and then work to discredit you.
My advise is to just to be yourself, be positive, be business like and have good work ethics. People can spot negative vibes and it will come though believe me. It happened time and time again, calls saying you are so much nicer than that lady at X B&B. I just grin (they can not see) and continue on. She is no longer in business!.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I do truly believe that our positive or negative attitudes and convictions will shine thru even if we do try to cover them up.
Even though I would not try to push my beliefs on others, I will always treat others the way I would want to be treated. The catch to that is I would never bad-mouth my competition. But, if I were badmouthed, I would, like one of the other posters said "Kill them with kindness. It makes them look worse".

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

That is rotten. But you will take the high ground and just let this other person dig their own hole. Small town politics are the worst. Learning who is with you or against you takes time. It was all fine UNTIL you opened your place as a B&B...
Keep on keeping on...you will be the winner in the end.

 

[IvyLee]

Take a deep breath and calm down. Some people are like that. One innkeeper caught an innkeeper removing all of another inn's rack cards from a brochure rack. It happens.
I had a guestbook button on my web site until I started getting all sorts of crap from hackers. Had my hosting company change it to a blog button.
In regard to nasty comments on the local forum, You covered it this time. I tink I would post an invitation to one and al to come to your Open House to tour the newest B & B in town. We hope to be a nice addition to the B & Bs in town. ALWAYS remain positive in tone. NEVER rip another inn or poster on the local Forum. Make everyone know that you are the nicest, sweetest person and how could anyone ever say anything nasty about you?
My way of dealing with #$%^& in the past was to kill the SOB with kindness. It makes them look even worse!.

In regard to nasty comments on the local forum, You covered it this time. I tink I would post an invitation to one and al to come to your Open House to tour the newest B & B in town. We hope to be a nice addition to the B & Bs in town. ALWAYS remain positive in tone. NEVER rip another inn or poster on the local Forum. Make everyone know that you are the nicest, sweetest person and how could anyone ever say anything nasty about you?
My way of dealing with #$%^& in the past was to kill the SOB with kindness. It makes them look even worse!

This is really, really good advice. People are just starting to figure out that everything on the web is more or less permanent, and it's much more difficult to repair your reputation, than it is to build it in a positive way. In the Sunday Times this week there was a great article about trolls, and how the internet just turns some people into mean jerks.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&ref=magazine&oref=slogin
Having six travel writers over for breakfast is a coup. Make up a few DVDs of your best hi-res photos and hand them out to the journalists, the ones working without photogs will love you and it will up your chance of having a huge photo in the piece.

 

[gillumhouse]

The suggestion of having high resolution photos (300 dpi - that is dots per inch and jpg - and the minimum needed for high quality printing) should not be a suggestion. IT SHOULD BE AN ORDER!! I am kicking myself for not telling you that already.
We should ALL have high rez photos available at all times. I usually save the photos I scan into my computer as 320dpi and name them whatever32dpi.jpg so I can find them in an instant.
If you can afford to do it, having b-roll on hand is important. B-roll (beta) is what the TV programs use - as in Good Morning America, etc. If you have b-roll and can overnight it, you sometimes have a chance to be part of a promo. I have 2 rolls of b-roll but what I need to do is go get it edited - because it is raw footage and I do not KNOW what is there. Thanks for the kick. I have finally reached the position of perhaps being able to afford the editing. I got the b-roll from one as a Speed Channel filming and the other was a commercial my City & I partnered in as part of a Tourism advertising grant and when I was bargaining with the ad company, I made copy on VHS, DVD, and b-roll as part of the deal. What I am saying here is I have NO idea how much it will cost for b-roll to be made.

 

[Sunshine]

Oh My Goodness, yes, you are right we should have DVD's or CD's of photos on hand. I never thought of that. GREAT ADVICE! Thank you thank you thank you!
Also I will check with local people about the costs of doing a b-roll.
We have a reporter coming Friday from a larger News Paper to do an article. I'll try to have at least the CD ready then.
Thanks guys!