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Don't take it personally...but it still hurts!

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Kailin

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I have read the extensive threads here on the subject of online reviews. I know on an intellectual level that any bozo can sign up for a TA account and write whatever they please about any property on the planet. I also know that there are ways to professionally deal with a bad review, so this thread is not looking for that advice.
I'm just wondering how you all deal with the very personal hurt you feel when someone criticizes your home and your heart & soul efforts to be hospitable?
I just read a recent review of our Inn and on a professional level I almost had to laugh, because the tone is so whiney and nit-picky, and if you read this person's other reviews it is clear that nothing impresses him or makes him happy. For us specifically he complains about breakfast (he enjoyed our fully plated breakfast but wished he had been asked if he'd rather have something else, and wished that we'd had self-serve breads and cereals to go along with the hot served plate...umm...that's a restaurant buffet you're looking for, and you're not likely to get it in ANY b&b). He says there were no window coverings in the room, which is simply not true (we have both blinds and curtains). At the end he mentions the positives and does state that he'd recommend us to a friend, so with that I don't think it really justifies a management response.
So why has this been dragging me down all day? What's the best way to just get over it?
 

JBloggs

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Can we please move this to the ONLINE REVIEWS thread? (So when the topic continues we know where to find it later)
 

Kailin

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Can we please move this to the ONLINE REVIEWS thread? (So when the topic continues we know where to find it later).
Sorry if I started the thread in the wrong place...can I move it? Not sure how all the dealies work on here...
Never mind, think I got it right...
 

swirt

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So why has this been dragging me down all day?
Because it sucks when you put care into what you created and somebody takes a pot-shot at it. It eats at you. Something would probably be wrong with you if it didn't.
What's the best way to just get over it?
Wine with friends .. so if you pour yourself a glass and hang out here, you'll be feeling better in no time.

Some people it makes them feel important to have something to nit-pik and whine over. Its in their being, they have to find something they didn't like. (I'm betting he was an engineer LOL)
I'd give it a couple of days..but then I would consider a managment response to address the fact about the window coverings. I would probably ignore the part about breakfast ... and at the same time entertain the idea of a cereal sidebar. It can be a pretty easy way to offer people an alternative.
I think most people reading at TA would overlook the whining about the breakfast...afterall, it is clarifying what you do and don't offer (clarifying is usually good). But mis-information about a lack of window coverings might cause others to pass you by.
 

JBloggs

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Sorry you got down about it. I feel that innkeeping is like riding a loop de loop roller coaster, upside down look at me no hands! I had a really not very nice couple here. They weren't really mean, but they weren't nice. It bugged me all day. Oddly enough they told me they go to BnB's all the time! Just not very friendly. Maybe i am too friendly. Who knows.
Some people are un pleasable, let's face it.
 

swirt

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Sorry you got down about it. I feel that innkeeping is like riding a loop de loop roller coaster, upside down look at me no hands! I had a really not very nice couple here. They weren't really mean, but they weren't nice. It bugged me all day. Oddly enough they told me they go to BnB's all the time! Just not very friendly. Maybe i am too friendly. Who knows.
Some people are un pleasable, let's face it..
No need to rename it or cut and paste, just edit the original post and select a different forum category. It will move everything in one shot.
 

JBloggs

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Sorry you got down about it. I feel that innkeeping is like riding a loop de loop roller coaster, upside down look at me no hands! I had a really not very nice couple here. They weren't really mean, but they weren't nice. It bugged me all day. Oddly enough they told me they go to BnB's all the time! Just not very friendly. Maybe i am too friendly. Who knows.
Some people are un pleasable, let's face it..
No need to rename it or cut and paste, just edit the original post and select a different forum category. It will move everything in one shot.
.
swirt said:
No need to rename it or cut and paste, just edit the original post and select a different forum category. It will move everything in one shot.
I forgot you made it so easy here on innspiring, I think we used to do that long long ago when we were just pawns.
 

MooseTrax

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It's dragging you down because you did your best and to your face everything was wonderful. But now Mr Poison Pen is sitting down to pick apart everything. The way you handle it is to laugh, as you've done. I had a chat today with someone who uses reviews everyday in her line of work. Now, yes, she is savvy and maybe the next guest to read that review is not, but she said she can pick the whiners out a mile off. If everyone else is loving your breakfast as presented, that will be very obvious.
We've all had that review that rankles and as I said to this person on the phone today, 'That bad review is written on my heart.'
 

Kailin

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Thank you all for the support. My husband laughed out loud when he read the review, he has that great ability. I'm trying to learn it, and in the meantime I'm taking Swirt's advice on that wine!
I think part of what's bothering me is that we really can't place the guest. The review says it was a recent stay but none of the other particulars are falling into place. I can usually smell a less than stellar review coming just from people's actions when they are here. We only have 3 that are less than 5 stars and I was anticipating each one of them. Not this one though.
 

Breakfast Diva

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It hurts because we feel that the experience we are offering guests is an extension of ourselves. Nobody likes to be picked apart. For me, the only way I get over it is the passage of time. Do a management response about the window coverings and be appreciative for the positive things mentioned. Once you get another good review, this one won't seem so bad. From what you've described, most readers will see that this guy is being very picky about his breakfast requirements and will look past that.
 

gillumhouse

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Definitely do a management response. I am so sorry you did not notice the blinds in our windows. It must have been tucked up behind the curtains. We are happy you enjoyed your stay and thank you for recommending us to your friends. Ot some such thing.
 

JBloggs

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Is there a place nearby without window coverings? Are they confusing you with an inn of the same name in another state?
 

Kailin

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Is there a place nearby without window coverings? Are they confusing you with an inn of the same name in another state?.
Joe Bloggs said:
Is there a place nearby without window coverings? Are they confusing you with an inn of the same name in another state?
I don't think so, he describes the specific room by name and has all the other details right. I'm not sure what he was looking for on the windows, we have hardwood blinds so maybe he didn't realize you have to twist the stick to close them.
I'm really stumped, sitting here going through all my guests for the last year...not exactly helpful in trying to get over it, I need to just let it go. I'm also reading some other reviews by him, and really he sounds like a total tool who needs to get a life...even the raves, he complains about the same things over and over (breakfast is one of them).
 

Proud Texan

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So why has this been dragging me down all day?
Because it sucks when you put care into what you created and somebody takes a pot-shot at it. It eats at you. Something would probably be wrong with you if it didn't.
What's the best way to just get over it?
Wine with friends .. so if you pour yourself a glass and hang out here, you'll be feeling better in no time.

Some people it makes them feel important to have something to nit-pik and whine over. Its in their being, they have to find something they didn't like. (I'm betting he was an engineer LOL)
I'd give it a couple of days..but then I would consider a managment response to address the fact about the window coverings. I would probably ignore the part about breakfast ... and at the same time entertain the idea of a cereal sidebar. It can be a pretty easy way to offer people an alternative.
I think most people reading at TA would overlook the whining about the breakfast...afterall, it is clarifying what you do and don't offer (clarifying is usually good). But mis-information about a lack of window coverings might cause others to pass you by..
swirt said:
Wine with friends .. so if you pour yourself a glass and hang out here, you'll be feeling better in no time.
A shot of bourbon alone ain't bad either.
 

Proud Texan

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Thank you all for the support. My husband laughed out loud when he read the review, he has that great ability. I'm trying to learn it, and in the meantime I'm taking Swirt's advice on that wine!
I think part of what's bothering me is that we really can't place the guest. The review says it was a recent stay but none of the other particulars are falling into place. I can usually smell a less than stellar review coming just from people's actions when they are here. We only have 3 that are less than 5 stars and I was anticipating each one of them. Not this one though..
Kailin said:
I think part of what's bothering me is that we really can't place the guest.
That would be an excellent way to respond to such a review. "We sorry Mr. X had such a bad experience, but to tell the truth, we can't remember who the heck you are."
 

The Tipsy Butler

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So why has this been dragging me down all day?
Because it sucks when you put care into what you created and somebody takes a pot-shot at it. It eats at you. Something would probably be wrong with you if it didn't.
What's the best way to just get over it?
Wine with friends .. so if you pour yourself a glass and hang out here, you'll be feeling better in no time.

Some people it makes them feel important to have something to nit-pik and whine over. Its in their being, they have to find something they didn't like. (I'm betting he was an engineer LOL)
I'd give it a couple of days..but then I would consider a managment response to address the fact about the window coverings. I would probably ignore the part about breakfast ... and at the same time entertain the idea of a cereal sidebar. It can be a pretty easy way to offer people an alternative.
I think most people reading at TA would overlook the whining about the breakfast...afterall, it is clarifying what you do and don't offer (clarifying is usually good). But mis-information about a lack of window coverings might cause others to pass you by..
swirt said:
Wine with friends .. so if you pour yourself a glass and hang out here, you'll be feeling better in no time.
A shot of bourbon alone ain't bad either.
.
Yeah Baby
 

Kailin

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So why has this been dragging me down all day?
Because it sucks when you put care into what you created and somebody takes a pot-shot at it. It eats at you. Something would probably be wrong with you if it didn't.
What's the best way to just get over it?
Wine with friends .. so if you pour yourself a glass and hang out here, you'll be feeling better in no time.

Some people it makes them feel important to have something to nit-pik and whine over. Its in their being, they have to find something they didn't like. (I'm betting he was an engineer LOL)
I'd give it a couple of days..but then I would consider a managment response to address the fact about the window coverings. I would probably ignore the part about breakfast ... and at the same time entertain the idea of a cereal sidebar. It can be a pretty easy way to offer people an alternative.
I think most people reading at TA would overlook the whining about the breakfast...afterall, it is clarifying what you do and don't offer (clarifying is usually good). But mis-information about a lack of window coverings might cause others to pass you by..
swirt said:
Wine with friends .. so if you pour yourself a glass and hang out here, you'll be feeling better in no time.
A shot of bourbon alone ain't bad either.
.
Cheers PT!

 

seashanty

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i am sorry. it's good to vent anonymously and post an innkeeper response with a positive note ( i like the one above about 'sorry you didn't see the window blinds behind the window curtains and thanks for the recommendation')
i have the feeling that a lot of people who post reviews on ta and other sites are enjoying the feeling of power. playing 'professional reviewer' as though some network is going to contact them .... 'say, we noticed your review of xyz inn and you really know your stuff ... we'd like to hire you' really!
reviews are everywhere and you'll see 4.5 stars 'because they don't give 5 stars since that would mean perfection' things like that. i am shopping for a ring to replace one that is lost ... and i see all great comments from someone reviewing the store, but they HAD to throw in a negative - 'fast shipment, item received within 3 days, packed with care, exactly as described .... wish the stones could have been bigger but a great deal for the price' ..... nonsense!!!
 

happykeeper

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So the question is, "How did we get over our first bad review" and move on. Here is how it went for us.
We had 5 star 5 star etc etc for a long while. Then, one of those, "I need to say something bad but still give it an overall 5" guys popped up. We were beside ourselves. We whirled and twirled and sent them an email and did this and did that. Mostly, we learned that this would eventually happen and we should prepare for the next one.
Then the first NOT 5 appears and it is the "three stars and would only recommend it for an overnight" review. It was a guest we did not connect with well and we could see some things we could have done to improve our effort, but the review included the suggestion that we didn't know how to run an inn. Ouch! We thought long and hard about whether to respond. Instead, we took it as a sign that we should curl the finger back and ask, "What simple thing could we have done that would have changed the dynamics in our favor?" We also did the needed research to for responding and all that stuff.
Then the BAD Review appears and we were better educated and more emotionally prepared to deal with it. Thank goodness we didn't get this one first. We were NOT emotionally prepared at all back then.
So what happened so that we could feel less crushed?
One thing that helped was that we totally went back and read many of the great reviews we have received over the last couple of years. It gave perspective.
Another thing we did was to go back and redo our perfect customer exercises that we used about a year earlier. This gave us a chance to remember that we are a business as well as a happy home. It gave us insight.
The last thing we did was we responded publicly to the review. There was a cathartic(?) feeling when we took an action for everyone to see and that we weren't a couple of milk toasts. That gave us comfort.
I tried to stick to the question. Hope it helps.
 

seashanty

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So the question is, "How did we get over our first bad review" and move on. Here is how it went for us.
We had 5 star 5 star etc etc for a long while. Then, one of those, "I need to say something bad but still give it an overall 5" guys popped up. We were beside ourselves. We whirled and twirled and sent them an email and did this and did that. Mostly, we learned that this would eventually happen and we should prepare for the next one.
Then the first NOT 5 appears and it is the "three stars and would only recommend it for an overnight" review. It was a guest we did not connect with well and we could see some things we could have done to improve our effort, but the review included the suggestion that we didn't know how to run an inn. Ouch! We thought long and hard about whether to respond. Instead, we took it as a sign that we should curl the finger back and ask, "What simple thing could we have done that would have changed the dynamics in our favor?" We also did the needed research to for responding and all that stuff.
Then the BAD Review appears and we were better educated and more emotionally prepared to deal with it. Thank goodness we didn't get this one first. We were NOT emotionally prepared at all back then.
So what happened so that we could feel less crushed?
One thing that helped was that we totally went back and read many of the great reviews we have received over the last couple of years. It gave perspective.
Another thing we did was to go back and redo our perfect customer exercises that we used about a year earlier. This gave us a chance to remember that we are a business as well as a happy home. It gave us insight.
The last thing we did was we responded publicly to the review. There was a cathartic(?) feeling when we took an action for everyone to see and that we weren't a couple of milk toasts. That gave us comfort.
I tried to stick to the question. Hope it helps..
wonderful, thoughtful answer
 
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