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The Tipsy Butler

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I'm The Fixer around here. I love it. Diagnose, locate, isolate and then figure it out.
Sink disposal went out. Usual blockage - Nope. Electrical - Nope. Motor - Nope. OK. It's a REAL blockage. Do we have a model that gives easy access. Nope. OK, so need to take apart completely.
DH appears towards the end of the process and helps me get to the place I need to be. Because I'd like him to be more proactive I'm making all sorts of encouraging noises .... and I'm doing a super duper job of holding the flashlight just right. He's about to set about it with a hammer when I find the itty bitty piece of bone that has completely stopped the blades and tentatively suggest that it could be the problem. Remove it - the thing works fine. After many deep sighs he walks out of the room with an over-the-shoulder comment along the lines of "what would you do without me" ..... and nope - it wasn't meant to be humerous.
.... OH - and the simple solution called for an Allen Wrench. I was complaining that our disposal doesn't have the AW socket ..... "but you don't even know what an AW is" says he.
My personal tool kit has at least 30 of them. After some bickering back and forth it turns out HE has no idea what an AW is.
Guess who's whining now - ME !!!!!! I'm turning into the passive / agressive person I really dislike.
 

Alibi Ike

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Rats. Here I was thinking the new 'MidCoast Calendar Guys' were on the front porch.
 

Joey Camb

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I am the fixer here to DH knows to do exactly what I tell him when I tell him (during a DIY situation) for his own personal safety! Im the one down the plumbers merchant going "yes I need a 4 inch flexible toilet pan connector" mind you to give the guys there their props they are never patronising.
 

Alibi Ike

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I am the fixer here to DH knows to do exactly what I tell him when I tell him (during a DIY situation) for his own personal safety! Im the one down the plumbers merchant going "yes I need a 4 inch flexible toilet pan connector" mind you to give the guys there their props they are never patronising..
For all I used to do my own house repairs now it appears I am incapable of even holding the flashlight correctly. I replaced windows, resurfaced my driveway, fixed toilets, repaired my car, etc, etc.
Now, I take great joy in reading my daughter's exploits in home repair. She called a few weeks ago asking for help (3000 miles away) in getting the pilot light going on her water heater in her new house. Then she installed a new screen in the slider, fixed all of the toilets in the new house. Made and hung new curtains. Built 2 bookcases. Fixed the disposal unit. All while making sure 3 kids are happy, productive, getting their homework done, getting to games and extracurricular classes and potty training the youngest (20 months old!!!) Actually, the youngest asked to use the toilet a couple of months ago and it's been mostly clear sailing since then. Took all of them by surprise but never look a gift horse in the mouth!
 

white pine

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Growing up dad would say ,"Do you know how to ___?" If you said yes, then you got to do it. If you said no, "It's time you learn". DH tells the contractors to talk to me. He is the muscle, for the DIY, but pretty much is like a deer in the headlights with contractors. I'm the fixer here, can do, don't always wanna.....
 

gillumhouse

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I stepped aside a long time ago and let the big strong man do it. However, when he was at a shooting range with his buddy and the batery died, he found a phone (bC - before cell) and called me at work. I punched out, got what he needed, and the guys were all impressed when he got curb service at teh range with a new battery - installed by his wife. I was working part-time as a tire buster at the time doing tires, batteries, and oil/lube at Se ars.
 

Samster

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I am always amazed at the number of women who can't fix the simplest of things. My folks wanted all of us to be independent (I'm the only girl & the youngest).
A friend of mine in MD had a husband who would hire people to HANG PICTURES! I am not kidding! He didn't know how & couldn't be bothered to learn.
My "adopted" mother here likes to use butterknives instead of a proper screwdriver.
She does own several screwdrivers, too.
It's interesting to live in the Deep South....women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine.
I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard...
 

gillumhouse

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I am always amazed at the number of women who can't fix the simplest of things. My folks wanted all of us to be independent (I'm the only girl & the youngest).
A friend of mine in MD had a husband who would hire people to HANG PICTURES! I am not kidding! He didn't know how & couldn't be bothered to learn.
My "adopted" mother here likes to use butterknives instead of a proper screwdriver.
She does own several screwdrivers, too.
It's interesting to live in the Deep South....women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine.
I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard...
.
These days I have to be careful to not bruise an ego. Dh is having a harder time doing things and it is not easy to realize you cannot do what you could even 6 months ago. Fortunately he is not STUPID about it - it is the little things like dropping things and gripping things that gets to him the most. No longer taking out the garbage did NOT upset him. DANG!!!
 

Samster

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I am always amazed at the number of women who can't fix the simplest of things. My folks wanted all of us to be independent (I'm the only girl & the youngest).
A friend of mine in MD had a husband who would hire people to HANG PICTURES! I am not kidding! He didn't know how & couldn't be bothered to learn.
My "adopted" mother here likes to use butterknives instead of a proper screwdriver.
She does own several screwdrivers, too.
It's interesting to live in the Deep South....women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine.
I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard...
.
These days I have to be careful to not bruise an ego. Dh is having a harder time doing things and it is not easy to realize you cannot do what you could even 6 months ago. Fortunately he is not STUPID about it - it is the little things like dropping things and gripping things that gets to him the most. No longer taking out the garbage did NOT upset him. DANG!!!
.
Yes, most men have fragile egos (apologies to any guys on the forum that this doesn't apply to) when it comes to grounding them.
There are a couple of maintenance items that I've put the kaboosh on for my own dh - like climbing up on the roof with the leaf blower to clear it off and climbing up to the big roof on the main part of our house. The roofer who is coming tomorrow to re-roof our house could not believe that my dh has climbed up there on numerous occasions. I love my dh and don't want him falling & cracking his head open now that he's not as limber as he once was.
 

Joey Camb

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my dad is like that was trying to clean the roof of the conservatory in this way so I put a kobosh on it! he is 75 now enough is enough!
 

gillumhouse

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I am always amazed at the number of women who can't fix the simplest of things. My folks wanted all of us to be independent (I'm the only girl & the youngest).
A friend of mine in MD had a husband who would hire people to HANG PICTURES! I am not kidding! He didn't know how & couldn't be bothered to learn.
My "adopted" mother here likes to use butterknives instead of a proper screwdriver.
She does own several screwdrivers, too.
It's interesting to live in the Deep South....women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine.
I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard...
.
These days I have to be careful to not bruise an ego. Dh is having a harder time doing things and it is not easy to realize you cannot do what you could even 6 months ago. Fortunately he is not STUPID about it - it is the little things like dropping things and gripping things that gets to him the most. No longer taking out the garbage did NOT upset him. DANG!!!
.
Yes, most men have fragile egos (apologies to any guys on the forum that this doesn't apply to) when it comes to grounding them.
There are a couple of maintenance items that I've put the kaboosh on for my own dh - like climbing up on the roof with the leaf blower to clear it off and climbing up to the big roof on the main part of our house. The roofer who is coming tomorrow to re-roof our house could not believe that my dh has climbed up there on numerous occasions. I love my dh and don't want him falling & cracking his head open now that he's not as limber as he once was.
.
When DH was in rehab after his 6-way, there was an old guy who was REALLY messed up. The guy had broken a LOT of bones. DH asked him what happened. He was fixing the roof and fell off. DH looked at him and said (as only another old man can do) what the hell is wrong with you? why didn't you hire someone to fix the roof that knows what they are doing. we are too old to be climbing on roofs!
DH is sensible about the big things - it is the every day things that are really hard for him.
 

Alibi Ike

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my dad is like that was trying to clean the roof of the conservatory in this way so I put a kobosh on it! he is 75 now enough is enough!.
My dad will be 80 next year and I had to have my mother assure me he would not be up on the roof shoveling off the 3' of snow they got!
 

The Tipsy Butler

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I am always amazed at the number of women who can't fix the simplest of things. My folks wanted all of us to be independent (I'm the only girl & the youngest).
A friend of mine in MD had a husband who would hire people to HANG PICTURES! I am not kidding! He didn't know how & couldn't be bothered to learn.
My "adopted" mother here likes to use butterknives instead of a proper screwdriver.
She does own several screwdrivers, too.
It's interesting to live in the Deep South....women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine.
I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard...
.
I kind of feel bad I wrote my OP. DH really is a trooper but I just get so MAD over comments like "that's the 3rd time I've had to fix the sink" when attempt #1 ended with me fixing his "attempt", #2 went off without a hitch and #3 ... well you know about that one.
"women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine". "I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard".
There's one side of DH that loves the fact I can "do" stuff and another side of him that just wants to take care of all that stuff for me. Mowing the lawn is the perfect example. We have a two acre field to mow. It's right in front of the house and needs to be kept presentable. That is DH's THING. But when he's not here all summer I have to do it - and I LOVE it. I'm on the tractor, can't hear the phones, it's calming and very satisfying cos you have immediate results.
 

gillumhouse

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I am always amazed at the number of women who can't fix the simplest of things. My folks wanted all of us to be independent (I'm the only girl & the youngest).
A friend of mine in MD had a husband who would hire people to HANG PICTURES! I am not kidding! He didn't know how & couldn't be bothered to learn.
My "adopted" mother here likes to use butterknives instead of a proper screwdriver.
She does own several screwdrivers, too.
It's interesting to live in the Deep South....women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine.
I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard...
.
I kind of feel bad I wrote my OP. DH really is a trooper but I just get so MAD over comments like "that's the 3rd time I've had to fix the sink" when attempt #1 ended with me fixing his "attempt", #2 went off without a hitch and #3 ... well you know about that one.
"women are not expected to know anything about these things...still. It is actually considered to be un-feminine". "I get glared at a lot when I mow the yard".
There's one side of DH that loves the fact I can "do" stuff and another side of him that just wants to take care of all that stuff for me. Mowing the lawn is the perfect example. We have a two acre field to mow. It's right in front of the house and needs to be kept presentable. That is DH's THING. But when he's not here all summer I have to do it - and I LOVE it. I'm on the tractor, can't hear the phones, it's calming and very satisfying cos you have immediate results.
.
Dh does not REALLY mind me doing the stuff. It is more that he can no longer. That he drops things and knocks things over - he complains to the proverbial elephant in the china shop (ME) that he dropped something! HUH?
We have a friend who loves to mow the yard for the same reason. Earphones on and has blasted into the world of nirvanna - no stress.
 

Sanctuary

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If I didn't have to do all the "man" work around here, I'd probably have time to find me a man to do it all! LOL
On the other side of that coin, if I didn't have to do it, I wouldn't know how to do it (because I learn it and do it out of pure necessity), and it's comforting to know that if I'm out somewhere remote and something goes wrong, I can probably fix it, or at least get it going well enough to limp back home if I had to. And it saves me from a whole lot of $100/hour labor for so-called professionals.
 

Alibi Ike

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One of my favorite Kate Hepburn quotes:
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
 

Breakfast Diva

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One of my favorite Kate Hepburn quotes:
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then..
Alibi Ike said:
One of my favorite Kate Hepburn quotes:
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
I love that quote and would do it if it were possible! Don't get me wrong, I love DH, but one of the toughest things since being an innkeeper is not having any alone time. We both do the inn full time together so our schedules went from hardly ever seeing each other to hardly ever being alone! Oh well, it's just my life of extremes

 

muirford

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One of my favorite Kate Hepburn quotes:
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then..
Alibi Ike said:
One of my favorite Kate Hepburn quotes:
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Robert Parker (the recently deceased author, not the wine guy) and his wife Joan did that - they owned a triple decker in Boston - one had the bottom apartment, one had the top floor apartment, and they shared the space in the middle. It would work for a lot of couples, I bet.
 
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