Need help deciding

[One Day]

Absolutely Joey.......
I am my worst critic.......and I realy do beat myself up over it......driving myself to do better.......it must be better..........has to be perfect.......restless nights thinking if I should advance a treatment or hold off a week.......and the list of things is endless.........between my ears anyway.
I often make the men working with me crazy with my nagging about achieveing perfection........One guy told me about a dozen years ago.....he and those at that time prefer me all hyped up.....cause it is then I am on top of my game........and when we can get alot of over flow work...and that as long as they go along with it.....do what is needed.......they will always have a job with me.....and receive the periodic bonuses.

 

[eyevea]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

They really didn't loose much. We had a contingency for selling our house and properties aren't selling right now. My next door neighbor has had his house on the market for 2 years. So, the owners are now free to advertise for different buyers who don't have the anchor of another house. And for us, it wasn't for lack of doing homework. We knew what the business would be like....the long hours, lack of sleep, very hard work, etc. It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me. And you don't know what you don't know. We asked all the right questions...but we didn't know which questions to ask...so please don't blame me...but know that I've learned for the future.

 

[Morticia]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

They really didn't loose much. We had a contingency for selling our house and properties aren't selling right now. My next door neighbor has had his house on the market for 2 years. So, the owners are now free to advertise for different buyers who don't have the anchor of another house. And for us, it wasn't for lack of doing homework. We knew what the business would be like....the long hours, lack of sleep, very hard work, etc. It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me. And you don't know what you don't know. We asked all the right questions...but we didn't know which questions to ask...so please don't blame me...but know that I've learned for the future.
.

And you don't know what you don't know. We asked all the right questions...but we didn't know which questions to ask...so please don't blame me...but know that I've learned for the future.

Truer words were never spoken.

 

[gillumhouse]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

They really didn't loose much. We had a contingency for selling our house and properties aren't selling right now. My next door neighbor has had his house on the market for 2 years. So, the owners are now free to advertise for different buyers who don't have the anchor of another house. And for us, it wasn't for lack of doing homework. We knew what the business would be like....the long hours, lack of sleep, very hard work, etc. It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me. And you don't know what you don't know. We asked all the right questions...but we didn't know which questions to ask...so please don't blame me...but know that I've learned for the future.
.

Blame you? No we do not blame you. We were trying to help you see reality with our answers - they may have seemed mean if read wrong, but they were not meant to be. Just trying to show what you ended up deciding.
It was not cold feet that brought you here asking what you did, it was knowing deep down what your answer was but you needed our words to help bring it to the fore. I say that because if you really, really were determined to do B & B, you would have flipped us the bird and dived in.
Best to you in your future. If and when the time is right, you will have the answers you need.

 

[eyevea]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

They really didn't loose much. We had a contingency for selling our house and properties aren't selling right now. My next door neighbor has had his house on the market for 2 years. So, the owners are now free to advertise for different buyers who don't have the anchor of another house. And for us, it wasn't for lack of doing homework. We knew what the business would be like....the long hours, lack of sleep, very hard work, etc. It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me. And you don't know what you don't know. We asked all the right questions...but we didn't know which questions to ask...so please don't blame me...but know that I've learned for the future.
.

Blame you? No we do not blame you. We were trying to help you see reality with our answers - they may have seemed mean if read wrong, but they were not meant to be. Just trying to show what you ended up deciding.
It was not cold feet that brought you here asking what you did, it was knowing deep down what your answer was but you needed our words to help bring it to the fore. I say that because if you really, really were determined to do B & B, you would have flipped us the bird and dived in.
Best to you in your future. If and when the time is right, you will have the answers you need.
.

I was responding to the person who said she felt sorry for the inn owners that thought they had sold their place and complained that I hadn't done my homework. I feel very lucky to have found this group. And I'm happy for all the help. Thanks for all the kind words.
We're hoping to find something closer to where I work so I can continue to work and get a regular paycheck and keep my medical insurance.
We're not in a hurry and maybe we'll just find a great house to move to and live.
Thanks everyone.

 

[muirford]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

They really didn't loose much. We had a contingency for selling our house and properties aren't selling right now. My next door neighbor has had his house on the market for 2 years. So, the owners are now free to advertise for different buyers who don't have the anchor of another house. And for us, it wasn't for lack of doing homework. We knew what the business would be like....the long hours, lack of sleep, very hard work, etc. It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me. And you don't know what you don't know. We asked all the right questions...but we didn't know which questions to ask...so please don't blame me...but know that I've learned for the future.
.

It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me.

I'm sorry to have to point this out but you absolutely can research these things in advance. Quotes for independent medical coverage are available. Taxes for the property you are going to buy are available, and income taxes can be estimated based on the income you might have, as can personal property taxes. I get that you want to hear things that support your decision to back out of this deal. I believe you have made the right one. It is just hard to believe that you got so far down that road that you made an offer without taking these things into account if they are such stumbling blocks for you. I still feel sorry for the innkeepers that accepted your offer that you now have cancelled.

 

[birdwatcher]

eyevea-WELCOME
Here is our story-we did the "sell your house in the city" and "buy not one but two houses" to run as a B & B that WAS NOT A B&B for many many years...with two teenagers. We did it cause we had a dream, and you know what they say "dreaming is free" and why not follow it, what would happen if everyone that had a dream whatever that may be said-there is just too much to risk...it would surely be a VERY BORING state of being.
Anyway we sold our home in the suburbs for a really really good price, it was right before the housing market tanked. So we move to "podunk" as K puts it and because we did do our homework and it was in a place where at least we where close to many outdoor activities etc and the Inn did have a good reputation before so we thought-"HELL YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE" so we plunged right in-our two kids (the youngest of the bunch) one was a junior in HS the other a freshman..yea tough.
Anyway we took all the renovations ourselves, poured all our blood, tears, sweat, ,money, and much much more and opened within six months after we bought it. Did great the first two years--yea financially it was tough to tell you the truth, but we loved it really loved it. Yea it was 24/7 in season and yea it was rough when it was downtime, and old houses are cold in winter and so forth...many many more trials.
So to make a long drawn out story short-we have had a hard time financially with revenues the last couple years, the job prospects where we where VERY VERY SLIM...but we took what we could get and I put internet ads everywhere I could to get a job at an Inn-hey we've loved the job for 5 years now and we owned and operated our own Inn-which consisted of 2 houses-one was about 1800 feet (5bdrms/5bth) the othert one right next door was around 2200feet-5 bedrooms 3 bath-we rented one room which was a suite in the larger home since we still had kids at home...anyway we had 6 rentable rooms, 3 acres on the mountain of WV and ALOT OF WORK we did it all ourselves...yes the laundry is amazing-why not look for a job at an Inn that is looking for an Innkeeper? there are those owners that dont really want to be innkeepers but what to own one...
It took a while and many interviews later we visited the Inn in April and got the job, moving ourselves and out cat to yet another state even farther from family. I'm still homesick and I still wanna go home...thats normal i think. But I like the job and the house is great working for someone else is entirely different but there is that steady paycheck coming in.
So now we have been employed to run this Inn in Arkansas, its a HUGE HOUSE- 8 rooms! But the good thing is that we are still doing what we love to do, and eventhough its not our Inn its the job that we like, no not every day is peachy keen-we don't have the power to make all decisions and have to go through the owner or director which brings a whole slew of other problems. But the owner is an absentee owner and we treat the Inn like we would our own-with love and tears sometimes. Guests are great, the caretakers quarters aren't all that. But we're still young and we think we may do this until we retire-and then who know what we will do. But tomorrow may bring many other opportunities.
Working for someone else has its pluses and its minuses-someday I hope to go back to my old house and open the four rooms that we have and make it into a B & B again....
So if you really really want this-GO FOR IT! everything has its consequenses, but of all the things that we've been through being Innkeepers I can say that at least I won't be asking myself in the future "what if I did that"....yea, no insurance sucks, yea the maybes, the ifs, the what if this happens....but life is just one step at a time into the inevitable and once you're there who the hell cares.

 

[eyevea]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

They really didn't loose much. We had a contingency for selling our house and properties aren't selling right now. My next door neighbor has had his house on the market for 2 years. So, the owners are now free to advertise for different buyers who don't have the anchor of another house. And for us, it wasn't for lack of doing homework. We knew what the business would be like....the long hours, lack of sleep, very hard work, etc. It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me. And you don't know what you don't know. We asked all the right questions...but we didn't know which questions to ask...so please don't blame me...but know that I've learned for the future.
.

It was the stuff you can't do research on that scared me away. What if my husband becomes terminally ill and I can't make it on my own. The cost of medical insurance and taxes alone would kill me.

I'm sorry to have to point this out but you absolutely can research these things in advance. Quotes for independent medical coverage are available. Taxes for the property you are going to buy are available, and income taxes can be estimated based on the income you might have, as can personal property taxes. I get that you want to hear things that support your decision to back out of this deal. I believe you have made the right one. It is just hard to believe that you got so far down that road that you made an offer without taking these things into account if they are such stumbling blocks for you. I still feel sorry for the innkeepers that accepted your offer that you now have cancelled.
.

I'm talking about the uncertainty of life that you can't research. This was not a numbers decision. This was a decision based on not wanting to give up my security. Anyway, it's hard to explain it all in words. I think most people get it and I do feel sorry for the current owners, but we didn't have a final contract and there were stil things that needed to ironed out. Their house was never off the market.
I saved them a few thousand dollars. No one could find a survey of the property and the current owners were going to have to pay to get one done to proceed with the sale. I found the survey and a copy came in the mail today. We're going to send it to them which will help them when they do find buyers. So, it wasn't all bad for them.

 

[eyevea]

eyevea-WELCOME
Here is our story-we did the "sell your house in the city" and "buy not one but two houses" to run as a B & B that WAS NOT A B&B for many many years...with two teenagers. We did it cause we had a dream, and you know what they say "dreaming is free" and why not follow it, what would happen if everyone that had a dream whatever that may be said-there is just too much to risk...it would surely be a VERY BORING state of being.
Anyway we sold our home in the suburbs for a really really good price, it was right before the housing market tanked. So we move to "podunk" as K puts it and because we did do our homework and it was in a place where at least we where close to many outdoor activities etc and the Inn did have a good reputation before so we thought-"HELL YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE" so we plunged right in-our two kids (the youngest of the bunch) one was a junior in HS the other a freshman..yea tough.
Anyway we took all the renovations ourselves, poured all our blood, tears, sweat, ,money, and much much more and opened within six months after we bought it. Did great the first two years--yea financially it was tough to tell you the truth, but we loved it really loved it. Yea it was 24/7 in season and yea it was rough when it was downtime, and old houses are cold in winter and so forth...many many more trials.
So to make a long drawn out story short-we have had a hard time financially with revenues the last couple years, the job prospects where we where VERY VERY SLIM...but we took what we could get and I put internet ads everywhere I could to get a job at an Inn-hey we've loved the job for 5 years now and we owned and operated our own Inn-which consisted of 2 houses-one was about 1800 feet (5bdrms/5bth) the othert one right next door was around 2200feet-5 bedrooms 3 bath-we rented one room which was a suite in the larger home since we still had kids at home...anyway we had 6 rentable rooms, 3 acres on the mountain of WV and ALOT OF WORK we did it all ourselves...yes the laundry is amazing-why not look for a job at an Inn that is looking for an Innkeeper? there are those owners that dont really want to be innkeepers but what to own one...
It took a while and many interviews later we visited the Inn in April and got the job, moving ourselves and out cat to yet another state even farther from family. I'm still homesick and I still wanna go home...thats normal i think. But I like the job and the house is great working for someone else is entirely different but there is that steady paycheck coming in.
So now we have been employed to run this Inn in Arkansas, its a HUGE HOUSE- 8 rooms! But the good thing is that we are still doing what we love to do, and eventhough its not our Inn its the job that we like, no not every day is peachy keen-we don't have the power to make all decisions and have to go through the owner or director which brings a whole slew of other problems. But the owner is an absentee owner and we treat the Inn like we would our own-with love and tears sometimes. Guests are great, the caretakers quarters aren't all that. But we're still young and we think we may do this until we retire-and then who know what we will do. But tomorrow may bring many other opportunities.
Working for someone else has its pluses and its minuses-someday I hope to go back to my old house and open the four rooms that we have and make it into a B & B again....
So if you really really want this-GO FOR IT! everything has its consequenses, but of all the things that we've been through being Innkeepers I can say that at least I won't be asking myself in the future "what if I did that"....yea, no insurance sucks, yea the maybes, the ifs, the what if this happens....but life is just one step at a time into the inevitable and once you're there who the hell cares..

Thanks for your story, birdwatcher. I love hearing everyone's stories and I wish I had found this site years ago. I might have chosen a different path all together.

 

[NW Natterbug]

We're off baking muffins and sipping lemonade...Let's see you can do all the restorative work when you have a houseful of guests, so THAT is what you do off-season should you have one.
You need to do more homework. You are the one with cold feet, we are the ones with the blisters. You asked seasoned innkeepers for info and you got it, but not the answers you wanted. It is the same same with the rose colored glasses, it is hard work, no it is not FUN. We make it look like fun to our guests because THEY ARE THE ONES ON VACATION, NOT US.
We don't need to make it look like fun on a forum for innkeepers, this is where the rubber hits the road, this is where we share guest stories and other innside innformation. .

Not trying to start a fight...far from it. I want the answers that you are giving me. I know it's hard work. No rose colore glasses here. We work hard all the time now....but it's a big change and I want information from the people in the trenches. I also have plenty of blisters.
I've heard some people talk about how much they like the work, even though it's hard.
I started asking about people who might have had cold feet and then decided to move forward and if they were sorry they did.
I don't like or dislike the answers. All answers are valid and what I need to hear.
You see very cynical and I'm sorry you don't like what you're doing. No one should hate what they do as much as you seem to.
.

Hi there, and welcome to the forum. As you've figured, we're all, large inns and small, pretty passionate about what we do, and in this biz, the personality is a big part of what keeps guests returning, so we tend as a group, to take our jobs more personally than the working population at large.
Our place is a two-roomer, so we didn't get into it to make an exclusive living from the B&B, but it is real income for us, and as others have said, allows us to live in a place we love.
We both formerly worked in media, in a large market, and oddly now are both working again part time, locally in media. Is it possible that you could do part time in your field locally, while DH does the bulk of the B&B? At least one couple that posts here has done a variation on that theme.
Just treat us as you would your guests. Listen to our stories, glean the gems, and disregard what isn't pertinent to your situation. This is a great and supportive group, and the advice given here will save you a lot of money and time n o t spent in going in unproductive directions.

 

[eyevea]

We're off baking muffins and sipping lemonade...Let's see you can do all the restorative work when you have a houseful of guests, so THAT is what you do off-season should you have one.
You need to do more homework. You are the one with cold feet, we are the ones with the blisters. You asked seasoned innkeepers for info and you got it, but not the answers you wanted. It is the same same with the rose colored glasses, it is hard work, no it is not FUN. We make it look like fun to our guests because THEY ARE THE ONES ON VACATION, NOT US.
We don't need to make it look like fun on a forum for innkeepers, this is where the rubber hits the road, this is where we share guest stories and other innside innformation. .

Not trying to start a fight...far from it. I want the answers that you are giving me. I know it's hard work. No rose colore glasses here. We work hard all the time now....but it's a big change and I want information from the people in the trenches. I also have plenty of blisters.
I've heard some people talk about how much they like the work, even though it's hard.
I started asking about people who might have had cold feet and then decided to move forward and if they were sorry they did.
I don't like or dislike the answers. All answers are valid and what I need to hear.
You see very cynical and I'm sorry you don't like what you're doing. No one should hate what they do as much as you seem to.
.

Hi there, and welcome to the forum. As you've figured, we're all, large inns and small, pretty passionate about what we do, and in this biz, the personality is a big part of what keeps guests returning, so we tend as a group, to take our jobs more personally than the working population at large.
Our place is a two-roomer, so we didn't get into it to make an exclusive living from the B&B, but it is real income for us, and as others have said, allows us to live in a place we love.
We both formerly worked in media, in a large market, and oddly now are both working again part time, locally in media. Is it possible that you could do part time in your field locally, while DH does the bulk of the B&B? At least one couple that posts here has done a variation on that theme.
Just treat us as you would your guests. Listen to our stories, glean the gems, and disregard what isn't pertinent to your situation. This is a great and supportive group, and the advice given here will save you a lot of money and time n o t spent in going in unproductive directions.

.

Thanks for writing and welcoming me to the forum. One of our goals was to not HAVE to work outside the B & B. It didn't make sense to give up decent jobs in our respective fields only to need to get yet another job. But that aside, I did look into it some. We live in CT right now and the places were were looking to buy were in Maine and NH. They are mostly in tourist areas with very little employment outside those tourist areas. I work for a parks and recreation department right now, and if recreation jobs even exist, they are most definitely filled. It's a hard field to change jobs in, because people like what they do and don't move around a lot.
That being said, I wouldn't mind at all running a place here in CT where I could continue to do my job, but there are precious few B & Bs and none are for sale. Not a lot of reasons to come to this part of CT unless you have kids going to UConn...and there are a couple of pretty good-sized motels (one right on campus) that accommadates most of that need.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your exprience. May I ask which media? My husband was a journalist for a newspaper for about 30 years and my son used to be a news reporter for a local radio station.

 

[Mini]

There is no "out" going in.
Most Innkeepers also do not "BAIL" I actually thought that was a poor term to use, as we slave away day after day after day. We miss weddings, births, our kids band concerts and games AND FUNERALS, fyi. Sheesh I have been working all morning from the crack of dawn today AND my stomach hurts and I don;t feel well, I can't call in sick. Guests are getting ready to head out for the day....

Are you sorry that you bought a B & B? We love restoring and fixing things and we know about that kind of work. And we know how hard it can be to relax when things need to be done.
Isn't the plan to get business? Don't you want people there all the time? And when there is an off season or a few days of no guests, isn't there time to do some relaxing then?
And between when they head out for the day and when they come back or before new guests arrive, there must be time to do some breath-catching.
You don't make it sound like much fun. We do want it to be fun.
.

eyevea
Do you like restoring and renovating things in a new house or an old house? Cause there is a difference. Old houses, as we know, are much more difficult and more work than a new house. Believe me those of us who bought old houses are not normal people. My husband who is a carpenter, electrician and plumber calls it "His Life Sentence". Though we love this house, and often call it paradise, I also know we will NEVER have an old house again!! NEVER EVER!
Also, the laundry never stops. Everyone who buys a b & b must love doing laundry. Right?
Why do we love it? I have no idea!

 

[eyevea]

There is no "out" going in.
Most Innkeepers also do not "BAIL" I actually thought that was a poor term to use, as we slave away day after day after day. We miss weddings, births, our kids band concerts and games AND FUNERALS, fyi. Sheesh I have been working all morning from the crack of dawn today AND my stomach hurts and I don;t feel well, I can't call in sick. Guests are getting ready to head out for the day....

Are you sorry that you bought a B & B? We love restoring and fixing things and we know about that kind of work. And we know how hard it can be to relax when things need to be done.
Isn't the plan to get business? Don't you want people there all the time? And when there is an off season or a few days of no guests, isn't there time to do some relaxing then?
And between when they head out for the day and when they come back or before new guests arrive, there must be time to do some breath-catching.
You don't make it sound like much fun. We do want it to be fun.
.

eyevea
Do you like restoring and renovating things in a new house or an old house? Cause there is a difference. Old houses, as we know, are much more difficult and more work than a new house. Believe me those of us who bought old houses are not normal people. My husband who is a carpenter, electrician and plumber calls it "His Life Sentence". Though we love this house, and often call it paradise, I also know we will NEVER have an old house again!! NEVER EVER!
Also, the laundry never stops. Everyone who buys a b & b must love doing laundry. Right?
Why do we love it? I have no idea!
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.

 

[scrambled_eggs]

There is no "out" going in.
Most Innkeepers also do not "BAIL" I actually thought that was a poor term to use, as we slave away day after day after day. We miss weddings, births, our kids band concerts and games AND FUNERALS, fyi. Sheesh I have been working all morning from the crack of dawn today AND my stomach hurts and I don;t feel well, I can't call in sick. Guests are getting ready to head out for the day....

Are you sorry that you bought a B & B? We love restoring and fixing things and we know about that kind of work. And we know how hard it can be to relax when things need to be done.
Isn't the plan to get business? Don't you want people there all the time? And when there is an off season or a few days of no guests, isn't there time to do some relaxing then?
And between when they head out for the day and when they come back or before new guests arrive, there must be time to do some breath-catching.
You don't make it sound like much fun. We do want it to be fun.
.

eyevea
Do you like restoring and renovating things in a new house or an old house? Cause there is a difference. Old houses, as we know, are much more difficult and more work than a new house. Believe me those of us who bought old houses are not normal people. My husband who is a carpenter, electrician and plumber calls it "His Life Sentence". Though we love this house, and often call it paradise, I also know we will NEVER have an old house again!! NEVER EVER!
Also, the laundry never stops. Everyone who buys a b & b must love doing laundry. Right?
Why do we love it? I have no idea!
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.

I like to do laundry as well but for 4 rooms I am doing laundry 12 hours everyday since I have one washer and one dryer. Drying is what takes forever.

 

[Morticia]

There is no "out" going in.
Most Innkeepers also do not "BAIL" I actually thought that was a poor term to use, as we slave away day after day after day. We miss weddings, births, our kids band concerts and games AND FUNERALS, fyi. Sheesh I have been working all morning from the crack of dawn today AND my stomach hurts and I don;t feel well, I can't call in sick. Guests are getting ready to head out for the day....

Are you sorry that you bought a B & B? We love restoring and fixing things and we know about that kind of work. And we know how hard it can be to relax when things need to be done.
Isn't the plan to get business? Don't you want people there all the time? And when there is an off season or a few days of no guests, isn't there time to do some relaxing then?
And between when they head out for the day and when they come back or before new guests arrive, there must be time to do some breath-catching.
You don't make it sound like much fun. We do want it to be fun.
.

eyevea
Do you like restoring and renovating things in a new house or an old house? Cause there is a difference. Old houses, as we know, are much more difficult and more work than a new house. Believe me those of us who bought old houses are not normal people. My husband who is a carpenter, electrician and plumber calls it "His Life Sentence". Though we love this house, and often call it paradise, I also know we will NEVER have an old house again!! NEVER EVER!
Also, the laundry never stops. Everyone who buys a b & b must love doing laundry. Right?
Why do we love it? I have no idea!
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.

I like to do laundry as well but for 4 rooms I am doing laundry 12 hours everyday since I have one washer and one dryer. Drying is what takes forever.
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.

I like to do laundry as well but for 4 rooms I am doing laundry 12 hours everyday since I have one washer and one dryer. Drying is what takes forever.

Oh, you just made me sooo happy I have 2 washers and 3 dryers! And I bitch about how long I'm doing laundry in season so I will stop now because it is NOT 12 hours!

 

[scrambled_eggs]

There is no "out" going in.
Most Innkeepers also do not "BAIL" I actually thought that was a poor term to use, as we slave away day after day after day. We miss weddings, births, our kids band concerts and games AND FUNERALS, fyi. Sheesh I have been working all morning from the crack of dawn today AND my stomach hurts and I don;t feel well, I can't call in sick. Guests are getting ready to head out for the day....

Are you sorry that you bought a B & B? We love restoring and fixing things and we know about that kind of work. And we know how hard it can be to relax when things need to be done.
Isn't the plan to get business? Don't you want people there all the time? And when there is an off season or a few days of no guests, isn't there time to do some relaxing then?
And between when they head out for the day and when they come back or before new guests arrive, there must be time to do some breath-catching.
You don't make it sound like much fun. We do want it to be fun.
.

eyevea
Do you like restoring and renovating things in a new house or an old house? Cause there is a difference. Old houses, as we know, are much more difficult and more work than a new house. Believe me those of us who bought old houses are not normal people. My husband who is a carpenter, electrician and plumber calls it "His Life Sentence". Though we love this house, and often call it paradise, I also know we will NEVER have an old house again!! NEVER EVER!
Also, the laundry never stops. Everyone who buys a b & b must love doing laundry. Right?
Why do we love it? I have no idea!
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.

I like to do laundry as well but for 4 rooms I am doing laundry 12 hours everyday since I have one washer and one dryer. Drying is what takes forever.
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.

I like to do laundry as well but for 4 rooms I am doing laundry 12 hours everyday since I have one washer and one dryer. Drying is what takes forever.

Oh, you just made me sooo happy I have 2 washers and 3 dryers! And I bitch about how long I'm doing laundry in season so I will stop now because it is NOT 12 hours!
.

I would love to have a couple more dryers. That would be a big help and I am sure it would cut down the time it would take. Someday down the road maybe.

 

[Samster]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

That's an excellent point. I think that there should be deposit money that exchanges hands that's kept by the seller if the buyer opts out for a reason that's not in the offer contract. That was in contracts that we made.
At least that eases the sting a bit of the time spent on the buyer that didn't work out.

 

[Samster]

There is no "out" going in.
Most Innkeepers also do not "BAIL" I actually thought that was a poor term to use, as we slave away day after day after day. We miss weddings, births, our kids band concerts and games AND FUNERALS, fyi. Sheesh I have been working all morning from the crack of dawn today AND my stomach hurts and I don;t feel well, I can't call in sick. Guests are getting ready to head out for the day....

Are you sorry that you bought a B & B? We love restoring and fixing things and we know about that kind of work. And we know how hard it can be to relax when things need to be done.
Isn't the plan to get business? Don't you want people there all the time? And when there is an off season or a few days of no guests, isn't there time to do some relaxing then?
And between when they head out for the day and when they come back or before new guests arrive, there must be time to do some breath-catching.
You don't make it sound like much fun. We do want it to be fun.
.

eyevea
Do you like restoring and renovating things in a new house or an old house? Cause there is a difference. Old houses, as we know, are much more difficult and more work than a new house. Believe me those of us who bought old houses are not normal people. My husband who is a carpenter, electrician and plumber calls it "His Life Sentence". Though we love this house, and often call it paradise, I also know we will NEVER have an old house again!! NEVER EVER!
Also, the laundry never stops. Everyone who buys a b & b must love doing laundry. Right?
Why do we love it? I have no idea!
.

we like restoring and renovating lots of things. We own a newer house and an older house and find both challenging and fun. I actually like to do laundry. Something satisfying about it.
.

Haha! I think your take on laundry will change after you've done mounds of sheets and towels, day after day!

 

[eyevea]

Why did you originally think buying and operating a B&B was a good idea? Look back at that. I guess I'm wondering why, if you love your life the way it is now, did you start looking to buy a B&B? Is this DH's idea and you went along and now you realize it's for real?

PS- the questions aren't being 'fired' at you because I think you've made a mistake! They're soul-searching questions you need to answer..

Thanks for writing back. My husband actually went to cooking school because he thought my idea of buying and running and B & B was a good one. He took a voluntary buyout from his career as a journalist. He'd always wanted to go to cooking school and my youngest was just finishing college. The timing is all working for us.
It was my idea. I love the idea of running a B & B. We're both great at customer service and loved the idea of living in an old, large house. Of course I didn't realize that the owner's quarters are often less than grand. The house we live in is nothing special, but we've worked hard on it and now I've learned to not dislike it so much. I think I'm having issues with "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
When we first started looking online and even in person, we had no idea that most people bail in 5-7 years. Our plan was to do this for the next 25 years. And also didn't realize that even when people decide they've had enough, it takes sometimes 5 more years to actually sell. And I know of a couple of places that went into foreclosure because people couldn't wait any longer to sell.
So, I don't want to make a huge life changing mistake. That's why I'm asking for what other people's thoughts were and are.
.

I am an aspiring innkeeper as well.

If you haven't already, make sure you go to aspiring seminars and possible ask local innkeepers if you can shadow them for a day or two (my state association has an aspiring program that allows this at specific inns), or even volunteer your time to help out around an inn and see the ins and outs and the behind the scenes action, if they will let you, or even offer to compensate them for their time. I've been to a number of seminars and did a shadowing and even recently returned from an aspiring weekend that had 7 innkeepers open all their doors and answered all our questions. Stuff like this will help with the cold feet or convince you it is not for you.
My biggest hurdle will be selling my house, which I am extremly emotionally attached to since I was practically born here. The economy will be a huge hinderance there as well.
Good luck!
.

Thanks for the advice. My problem isn't know what it will be like to run a place...all the hard work, long hours, etc. My problem is the risk. Giving up my secure job and the health insurance and my paid for house (all my securities) to buy and run and bed and breakfast in another state. The whatifs keep me awake at night. For now, we've withdrawn our offer. It feels very sad to give up on a dream we've had for a very long time, but when we first started this venture, we were both working full time and saving a lot of money. We were going to pay cash for a B & B so if the business failed, we'd still have a great place to live.
Then the economy failed, my husband was laid off (voluntarily) and we realized that the B & Bs that we'd been looking weren't set up to be private homes. In face, most owner's quarters weren't even big enough for us.
By the time we found this place, that we really really like, the economy was very different, we'd have to take a small mortgage....the taxes and medical insurance bills would be over $27,000/year and the house really wouldn't be appropriate to just live in...not that we could afford to just live there with the bills we'd still have to pay.
So, the reality of what we found vs. our original dream were very different.
I'm very emotionally attached to my house, as well, but I think I could get passed that part. The economy is something else, again.
If we could find a place to buy that was within driving distance of my job (and medical insurance, and security), then we could ease into the transfer and maybe not have to give up the security.
Anyway, thanks for the advice. We were actually advised against going to an aspiring innkeepers seminar...so it's good to hear that it's been beneficial.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time. As my mother used to say.."Wed in haste, regret at leisure.." That doesn't mean that you can't find another property later on that will be a better "fit" for your circumstances. Please stay around the forum. FYI, I attended both a state and a PAII aspiring class, and felt I learned as much if not more from the people here on the forum, but there are advantages to learning as much as you can wherever.
.

It sounds like you have made the right decision for your situation at this time.

Maybe so. I feel bad for the innkeepers who now have had an offer withdrawn - been there, done that. Why, oh why, don't people do their homework before they sign an offer?
.

That's an excellent point. I think that there should be deposit money that exchanges hands that's kept by the seller if the buyer opts out for a reason that's not in the offer contract. That was in contracts that we made.
At least that eases the sting a bit of the time spent on the buyer that didn't work out.
.

In our case, we never completed the contract.

 

[wendydk]

We looked at 11 different places, examined financial from about 15 places, and have really done our homework. We want a place that is financially viable.

Be very sure that you don't overspend to get a "Financially viable" Inn. I don't know your definition of viable, but while my little three room Inn pays for itself, it wouldn't support us entirely. On the plus side, it could still sell as a house, and we could still afford to live here if the worst happened and we had to close for whatever reason....that makes it viable in my eyes!