New Innkeeper desperately needs advice

[nancy]

I am sorry you had to deal with this, but it isd experience #1 for you. There will be others (and that is one reason we are here - for suggestions) and even the "seasoned" innkeepers get thrown for a loop once in a while. At 10 they are less likely to be disruptive - an infant who will have a crying jag or a 2 or 3 year old exploring both the world and its limits could be a bigger problem.
Suggestion - in the future, do not just holler HELP! - tell us the problem up front for a faster suggestion for resolution. That way, your first reply will be helpful rather than a "what is the problem". And BTW - Welcome..

Thank you for the suggestion. My desperation was showing.

 

[gillumhouse]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

Due to licensing restrictions, we are limited to a maximum of 2 persons per room (children count as occupants). Children ages 0 to 14 are not accepted.
That is how you word it on your web site AND in your Confirmation letter AND on your rack cards AND on your online booking descriptions of each room. Deal with the pet issues in the same way - do or do not.

 

[gillumhouse]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
That is where you clearly enunciate - Please leave the skateboard in the car while you are here.

 

[nancy]

Thanks for the great advice. Appreciate your time.

 

[undersea]

I would let it go unless the child is disruptive in some way ... I'd address comments from other guests if they come up. He might hardly be noticed especially if they are going to be out all day to a wedding. One child of that age might just quietly get ready and go out ... not run around and be crazy.
I was not allowed to refuse children.
Please if you must speak to the parent don't do it front of the child - not his fault..

I totally agree with you. If the child is causing no grief, going ballistic or making a big deal seems an immature response, maybe yielding negative reviews. I suspect, but not sure, in the USA it is illegal to bar children.
But I would tack on whatever per person charge is listed in the policy

 

[undersea]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

Due to licensing restrictions, we are limited to a maximum of 2 persons per room (children count as occupants). Children ages 0 to 14 are not accepted.
That is how you word it on your web site AND in your Confirmation letter AND on your rack cards AND on your online booking descriptions of each room. Deal with the pet issues in the same way - do or do not.
.

Agreed. As I said previously, the federal law for rental occupancy is clear. I may rent apartments or houses maxed at 2 per bedroom and 1 in living room. I can see quoting this at people trying to cram in more.

 

[Morticia]

I would let it go unless the child is disruptive in some way ... I'd address comments from other guests if they come up. He might hardly be noticed especially if they are going to be out all day to a wedding. One child of that age might just quietly get ready and go out ... not run around and be crazy.
I was not allowed to refuse children.
Please if you must speak to the parent don't do it front of the child - not his fault..

I totally agree with you. If the child is causing no grief, going ballistic or making a big deal seems an immature response, maybe yielding negative reviews. I suspect, but not sure, in the USA it is illegal to bar children.
But I would tack on whatever per person charge is listed in the policy
.

I totally agree with you. If the child is causing no grief, going ballistic or making a big deal seems an immature response, maybe yielding negative reviews. I suspect, but not sure, in the USA it is illegal to bar children. But I would tack on whatever per person charge is listed in the policy

Apples and oranges. This is not an apartment rental situation. It is completely dependent on local ordinances, the size of the property, the fire codes, etc.
If you clearly state (and it is not barred by local ordinances) that you do NOT accept children (under age whatever) then those are the rules. The innkeeper can then handle things as they see fit.
It's the handling that requires finesse. Some people bar the kid at the door. Some take the kid and deal with the hostility of the other guests who did not expect to deal with non-adults in the dining room. TOO many guests tone down adult conversation to a series of 'So how old are you, sonny?' type questions that ruin the entire adult experience. (Yes, I am required to accept kids. I am NOT required to accept as many kids as someone wants to put in the room. And, yes, we had a lovely 2 yo here last night and no one dumbed down the conversation, thank goodness.)

 

[EmptyNest]

I would let it go unless the child is disruptive in some way ... I'd address comments from other guests if they come up. He might hardly be noticed especially if they are going to be out all day to a wedding. One child of that age might just quietly get ready and go out ... not run around and be crazy.
I was not allowed to refuse children.
Please if you must speak to the parent don't do it front of the child - not his fault..

I totally agree with you. If the child is causing no grief, going ballistic or making a big deal seems an immature response, maybe yielding negative reviews. I suspect, but not sure, in the USA it is illegal to bar children.
But I would tack on whatever per person charge is listed in the policy
.

if it is your home, you make the rules! some states have rules you must take kids, but most do not. it is not illegal to refuse kids

 

[Copperhead]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made.

As I stated before, some people don't think children are people so do not even mention them when they book. So if they call and don't mention kids, you are not going to know to discuss this matter. If you have online reservations they have no idea when they book.
You need to put it on your site in order to keep your sanity. This will happen again if you do not. It may if you do as well (like my story stated) but you do have a leg to stand on when it is there in black and white on your site, in your confirmation and any other materials.
If you do not already do so, you may want to change your marketing to focus on the ROMANCE that you are trying to capture at your place. State this is for 'couples only' if this is what you want to attract.
Then state your policy as you stated it here. Make it short, sweet but direct. Copy and paste it to your confirmation.

 

[Morticia]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made.

As I stated before, some people don't think children are people so do not even mention them when they book. So if they call and don't mention kids, you are not going to know to discuss this matter. If you have online reservations they have no idea when they book.
You need to put it on your site in order to keep your sanity. This will happen again if you do not. It may if you do as well (like my story stated) but you do have a leg to stand on when it is there in black and white on your site, in your confirmation and any other materials.
If you do not already do so, you may want to change your marketing to focus on the ROMANCE that you are trying to capture at your place. State this is for 'couples only' if this is what you want to attract.
Then state your policy as you stated it here. Make it short, sweet but direct. Copy and paste it to your confirmation.
.

We had a couple who emailed several times asking about kids. Told them which rooms were best for kids. They made the online rez but never mentioned the kids!

 

[Silverspoon]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

Welcome, Nancy! You have two issues: what to do now that the guests have shown up with a child, and how to prevent it from happening again.
If you decide to accommodate the child this ONE time, you should make it perfectly clear to the parents that the child must be supervised, quiet and under their control at all times or they must leave.
To prevent it from happening again you need to be very specific both on your web site in all of your communications with the guests. We, like you, are small....just 2 rooms in the house and one cottage. In our text on the web we say "The inn’s quiet, adult setting...", our policies say "Each suite can accomodate up to two (2) people sharing the queen size bed. The cottage can accomodate up to two (2) people. Due to local codes, we do not have cots or roll-away beds, nor can we permit use of air mattresses or sleeping bags to accomodate additional guests. Our B+B is not suitable for children under the age of 18." And we stick to it!
When we take the reservation we ask for the name of the other person staying. Usually the guest offers up the relationship (my husband, wife, partner, boyfriend etc.), but if they do not we follow up with the summary statement of " You are making a reservation for 2 adults: name, name. Is that correct?"
Their written confirmation also has the notation (2 adults).
If they show up with a child we deny them entry to the room and keep their deposit. Period.

 

[2cat_lady]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

Welcome, Nancy! You have two issues: what to do now that the guests have shown up with a child, and how to prevent it from happening again.
If you decide to accommodate the child this ONE time, you should make it perfectly clear to the parents that the child must be supervised, quiet and under their control at all times or they must leave.
To prevent it from happening again you need to be very specific both on your web site in all of your communications with the guests. We, like you, are small....just 2 rooms in the house and one cottage. In our text on the web we say "The inn’s quiet, adult setting...", our policies say "Each suite can accomodate up to two (2) people sharing the queen size bed. The cottage can accomodate up to two (2) people. Due to local codes, we do not have cots or roll-away beds, nor can we permit use of air mattresses or sleeping bags to accomodate additional guests. Our B+B is not suitable for children under the age of 18." And we stick to it!
When we take the reservation we ask for the name of the other person staying. Usually the guest offers up the relationship (my husband, wife, partner, boyfriend etc.), but if they do not we follow up with the summary statement of " You are making a reservation for 2 adults: name, name. Is that correct?"
Their written confirmation also has the notation (2 adults).
If they show up with a child we deny them entry to the room and keep their deposit. Period.
.

I like your wording. I'll have to 'borrow' some of that if I may

 

[undersea]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made.

As I stated before, some people don't think children are people so do not even mention them when they book. So if they call and don't mention kids, you are not going to know to discuss this matter. If you have online reservations they have no idea when they book.
You need to put it on your site in order to keep your sanity. This will happen again if you do not. It may if you do as well (like my story stated) but you do have a leg to stand on when it is there in black and white on your site, in your confirmation and any other materials.
If you do not already do so, you may want to change your marketing to focus on the ROMANCE that you are trying to capture at your place. State this is for 'couples only' if this is what you want to attract.
Then state your policy as you stated it here. Make it short, sweet but direct. Copy and paste it to your confirmation.
.

Couples only sort of weeds out single adults...

 

[ChrisandShelley]

We had a survey response when we first opened about a harsh email that the previous owners sent out to guests with children.She felt it was harsh since her children are always well-behaved (snort!) and that we should allow children of all ages to stay. I responded with an apology about the harshness, but stated that we are not set up for smaller children, that it is an liability insurance issue. The truth is that I don't know for a fact whether or not our liability insurance would be more if we accepted children less than 6, but they did ask that question. I do know that a B&B nearby had a guest who was injured on their property through no fault of their own and their insurance was canceled. It's not hard to connect the dots between the increased risk of having small children in a home that is not set up for their safety and the risk of losing insurance coverage and a lawsuit. It's just not worth it, in my humble newbie opinion. I'll just put out the fires when adults with "perfect" children want to make a reservation.

 

[undersea]

We had a survey response when we first opened about a harsh email that the previous owners sent out to guests with children.She felt it was harsh since her children are always well-behaved (snort!) and that we should allow children of all ages to stay. I responded with an apology about the harshness, but stated that we are not set up for smaller children, that it is an liability insurance issue. The truth is that I don't know for a fact whether or not our liability insurance would be more if we accepted children less than 6, but they did ask that question. I do know that a B&B nearby had a guest who was injured on their property through no fault of their own and their insurance was canceled. It's not hard to connect the dots between the increased risk of having small children in a home that is not set up for their safety and the risk of losing insurance coverage and a lawsuit. It's just not worth it, in my humble newbie opinion. I'll just put out the fires when adults with "perfect" children want to make a reservation..

That is an interesting angle.

 

[Generic]

We had a survey response when we first opened about a harsh email that the previous owners sent out to guests with children.She felt it was harsh since her children are always well-behaved (snort!) and that we should allow children of all ages to stay. I responded with an apology about the harshness, but stated that we are not set up for smaller children, that it is an liability insurance issue. The truth is that I don't know for a fact whether or not our liability insurance would be more if we accepted children less than 6, but they did ask that question. I do know that a B&B nearby had a guest who was injured on their property through no fault of their own and their insurance was canceled. It's not hard to connect the dots between the increased risk of having small children in a home that is not set up for their safety and the risk of losing insurance coverage and a lawsuit. It's just not worth it, in my humble newbie opinion. I'll just put out the fires when adults with "perfect" children want to make a reservation..

Insurance and government regulations are the standard answers to get out of things. Don't tell everyone!

 

[Silverspoon]

Nancy, Is your policy clearly stated on your website? xx age and up only?.

Hello seashanty. My policy is not clearly stated mainly because I could not find a tactful way to state it. I instead handle the issue when the reservation is made. I explain that I cater to couples and that I can only allow two guests per room. My B&B license actually prohibits me from having more than two guests per room so I am stating the facts on that point. With all of that, it makes it difficult for anyone to bring a child. When I have had to directly answer that question, however, I have stated that we have only two rooms which share a wall. We strive to convey a quiet, romantic experience for our guests and having children in the room would be difficult to manage. So far, no one has objected. In the case of my current guests, they made a reservation for man and wife. The child was never mentioned at all because their plan was to leave him with family a few blocks over. I really appreciate all the advice. This is tricky. I have spent four years restoring my 1870's home. Children cannot be expected to walk on eggshells and I feel having them as guests will likely end badly for me. BTW, when this child walked in with his mother, he was holding a skateboard.
.

Welcome, Nancy! You have two issues: what to do now that the guests have shown up with a child, and how to prevent it from happening again.
If you decide to accommodate the child this ONE time, you should make it perfectly clear to the parents that the child must be supervised, quiet and under their control at all times or they must leave.
To prevent it from happening again you need to be very specific both on your web site in all of your communications with the guests. We, like you, are small....just 2 rooms in the house and one cottage. In our text on the web we say "The inn’s quiet, adult setting...", our policies say "Each suite can accomodate up to two (2) people sharing the queen size bed. The cottage can accomodate up to two (2) people. Due to local codes, we do not have cots or roll-away beds, nor can we permit use of air mattresses or sleeping bags to accomodate additional guests. Our B+B is not suitable for children under the age of 18." And we stick to it!
When we take the reservation we ask for the name of the other person staying. Usually the guest offers up the relationship (my husband, wife, partner, boyfriend etc.), but if they do not we follow up with the summary statement of " You are making a reservation for 2 adults: name, name. Is that correct?"
Their written confirmation also has the notation (2 adults).
If they show up with a child we deny them entry to the room and keep their deposit. Period.
.

I like your wording. I'll have to 'borrow' some of that if I may

.

By all means...that is why I included it. After 26 years in the business we have figured out what works for us. I hope it works for you too!!!

 

[Morticia]

We had a survey response when we first opened about a harsh email that the previous owners sent out to guests with children.She felt it was harsh since her children are always well-behaved (snort!) and that we should allow children of all ages to stay. I responded with an apology about the harshness, but stated that we are not set up for smaller children, that it is an liability insurance issue. The truth is that I don't know for a fact whether or not our liability insurance would be more if we accepted children less than 6, but they did ask that question. I do know that a B&B nearby had a guest who was injured on their property through no fault of their own and their insurance was canceled. It's not hard to connect the dots between the increased risk of having small children in a home that is not set up for their safety and the risk of losing insurance coverage and a lawsuit. It's just not worth it, in my humble newbie opinion. I'll just put out the fires when adults with "perfect" children want to make a reservation..

I'll just put out the fires when adults with "perfect" children want to make a reservation.

They're all perfect until they're not. Since we removed the second bed in multiple rooms we have told parents which rooms they may book. No matter if Junior sleeps in your bed at home. No matter if Junior sleeps on the floor, in a pack and play, hanging upside down from a hanger. These 2 rooms.
Just last week we had a family where the parents and toddler all share the same bed at home. So how did they split up here? Kid in the second bed? Not a chance. Parent got second bed, kid got big bed with other parent. But, hey, not my problem.

 

[TheBeachHouse]

Late to the party, but I wouldn't have said anything. If the kid doesn't play on the stairs, throw rocks or make farting noises at breakfast, it's not that big a deal. Feed them and send them on their way.
We have a no child policy and had two sets of under 6's this week as well as a crawling baby. All very well looked after by their parents. None spoke English! We had them help feed the koi fish and the parents and other guests had a fine time.
Not always the case, I've had less vigilant parents and louder, less respectful kids, but they leave.
Stuff happens, this is minor. (pun!)

 

[undersea]

Late to the party, but I wouldn't have said anything. If the kid doesn't play on the stairs, throw rocks or make farting noises at breakfast, it's not that big a deal. Feed them and send them on their way.
We have a no child policy and had two sets of under 6's this week as well as a crawling baby. All very well looked after by their parents. None spoke English! We had them help feed the koi fish and the parents and other guests had a fine time.
Not always the case, I've had less vigilant parents and louder, less respectful kids, but they leave.
Stuff happens, this is minor. (pun!).

good attitude. Keeping cool to me is better than agonizing and waving a policy sheet.