Honestly, this is completely over the top. Are their guests we talk about after they left? Sure! There are guests we loved that we rave about and guests that just didn't even have a modicum of respect for us or our work. But this is absolutely true of almost ANY business. You don't think that the hairdresser talks about you when you leave? You don't think that the real estate agent talks about you when they are at home? Everyone talks about those people who are "outliers" on both ends of the spectrum. Don't want to be talked about other than in wonderful terms, don't disrespect others, leave them with a good impression and don't stand out. If you walk into my private bedroom past midnight to ask me for the wifi password... you are going to be talked about. If you lie that your GF and I see you eating bread... you are going to be talked about.
Am I happy to see everyone? Nope. I have my good days and my bad days.
Am I happy when you leave? Nope. I have those I hate to see leave and yup a small contingent that I'm insanely happy they left.
Do I fake it? Sometimes... yes. But we are all human, we aren't happy all the time. Someone left an unkind review and well, I'm going to be depressed and I'm going to have to fake it. You ring my doorbell twice and can't manage to wait patiently as I walk to the door, I may be grumpy. Take a real interest in what I am saying, show me you are glad to be here, trust my advice and generally be great and you will lift my spirits and get all the help in the world.
I don't lie about what is homemade and what is store bought. Breakfast is fresh daily, does that mean I baked the English muffins... nope! I didn't churn the bread, plant the beets for the sugar and I certainly didn't harvest the coffee beans.
Do I have rules? Yup. They are for our mutual protection. I'm trying to do the best that I can. Life has rules too. Ever rent a car? You should read through their rule book.... you signed it, didn't you?
I don't have a gun or a rifle in the house and you aren't bringing one into mine either. I do have the ability to dial 911 though.
As for lying... I think we can all tell when you are lying to us. And it's amazing that your dead relative managed to pull through once we told you that the cancellation policy is still in effect. You know, if you had a little self respect, you wouldn't pull that kind of thing in the first place It disrespects those who really have allergies and real emergencies and makes life harder for them when you fake a service animal when they really need to bring them.
I don't have the time to stalk people. I wish I had that much time for things like that. I'm having enough trouble finding enough time to do the things on my plate already.