Please deliver me from....

[Joey Camb]

The "daughter" of the mobility chanllenged parents that made the reservation knowing it was on the third floor. Mother insisted on wanting to know how she would be escaping if there should be a fire-we said "with the rope ladder" she looked like she was about to have a coronary-DH said. Luckily they decided to leave the next morning without incident of fire or ambulatory exits..

People like this baffle me. we have a regular in who stays with us because she can have a ground floor room Ie normal person! its people with difficulties who book last minute online drive me mad as there is no guarantee that what Ive got left it suitable - SO GET ON THE PHONE AND ASK!!!

 

[Samster]

The New-Agey woman who told me last week "Your plants are screaming". Apparently my houseplants needed water (no doubt true) and they were screaming. I resisted the urge to tell her I wished they'd scream a little louder so I could hear them, and then I'd remember to water them..

I don't speak the language of plant life...would be my answer. harharhar....

 

[Samster]

People are morons. I had those "instant" shoe polish cloths in all the rooms, that cost me around 25 cents each from Big Lots! (the dollar store, drug store, etc.) and never had anyone use a towel. People didn't just take them either. Something to consider for the future...

 

[Samster]

The no fat, no yolk, no sugar, no white flour etc etc yada yada yada diet people who grab one of my white, dark and milk chocolate chip cookies on the tour to their room....
RIki.

Sounds like they just couldn't resist them....

 

[InnBloom]

People are morons. I had those "instant" shoe polish cloths in all the rooms, that cost me around 25 cents each from Big Lots! (the dollar store, drug store, etc.) and never had anyone use a towel. People didn't just take them either. Something to consider for the future....

Thanks, Samster...good idea. I have colorful washcloths in the room, separate from my "good stuff" for makeup and shoes and whatever, but some folks just don't get it. I'll look for the instant cloths.

 

[InnBloom]

The boys from Arkansas who smoked in their room, then objected when we told them there would be an additional $150 cleaning fee because we hadn't "warned" them of our no-smoking policy (notwithstanding the decals on the doors, the guest guide, or our e-mail confirmation receipt, or our website).
After we got that fru-fru settled, one of the boys in the party (from Denver), confided to me that he had an MMJ card.
"Whass that?" queried I.
"It's a medical marijuana card. But the law says I can't smoke in public and you say I can't smoke in the room."
Now this was a strapping, good-looking kid whose only medical problem was that he was stupid.
"Well," sez I, "I guess you'll have to forgo your treatments while staying at the Lodge."
"Yea," sez he, " I guess I will."
Problem solved..

Now this was a strapping, good-looking kid whose only medical problem was that he was stupid.

Best laugh I've had all day! Thanks, HML!

 

[Innkeep]

The people who arrive with babies in tow (we don't take 'em)

 

[Don Draper]

Grrr...relatives who insist on visiting in the busy season and then just sit in your way all day.

 

[Joey Camb]

Grrr...relatives who insist on visiting in the busy season and then just sit in your way all day..

Or people you don't particularly want to see but turn up and inist on talking to you for hours.

 

[gillumhouse]

The New-Agey woman who told me last week "Your plants are screaming". Apparently my houseplants needed water (no doubt true) and they were screaming. I resisted the urge to tell her I wished they'd scream a little louder so I could hear them, and then I'd remember to water them..

I don't speak the language of plant life...would be my answer. harharhar....
.

My answer would be - they tell me when they need water, I hear the gentle plop of falling leaves.

 

[gillumhouse]

The guy who called Saturday night (Sunday morning) at 2:15 a.m. and asked "Y'all got any rooms?".

The guy who called Saturday night (Sunday morning) at 2:15 a.m. and asked "Y'all got any rooms?"

He has called me several times and even invited me to his sex party - but it is usually closer to 3 am when he called me. Thankfully, not lately

 

[birdwatcher]

the people that say "we should be there at 4" then call and say 8 then don't call and we end up waiting and waiting-we dont have a life-hey! As we speak we are waiting for one that called was gonna be here at 7PM then called and said it was 8 now its 9:30 and we had plans to go to see a band...

 

[Alibi Ike]

the people that say "we should be there at 4" then call and say 8 then don't call and we end up waiting and waiting-we dont have a life-hey! As we speak we are waiting for one that called was gonna be here at 7PM then called and said it was 8 now its 9:30 and we had plans to go to see a band....

the people that say "we should be there at 4" then call and say 8 then don't call and we end up waiting and waiting-we dont have a life-hey! As we speak we are waiting for one that called was gonna be here at 7PM then called and said it was 8 now its 9:30 and we had plans to go to see a band...

After check-in time has ended I feel I have a right to my life. If I had plans, the guest gets a note on the door with the info they need. Even if I didn't have plans, they get the note and put my jammies on. (And when they don't SEE the note and ring the bell, they get the fuzzy, pink bathrobe from Hell!)

 

[Don Draper]

The people who feel the need to ask you a question or point out something from their room EVERY time they lay eyes on you. Case in point, woman comes waving her broken curling iron in my face this morning, asking do I have trash to throw this away? Yes, so do you...in the trash can in your room. They are becoming stalkers.

 

[InnBloom]

The folks who come down for breakfast in their jammies. pleeeez....
I have a wonderful mix of guests here all the time....young, old and in-between. I LOVE my young guests, but I do have to say, if anyone is going to come down for breakfast in jammies, it's the youngsters. (But let me say, 99% of them wouldn't think of it.) I tried hard not to treat them differently than anyone else yesterday, and figured they'd get the idea when everyone else had dressed (and most had showered!) before breakfast----I figured they'd dress this morning. But no.
Pajama Boy comes down with (our) robe flapping and white sox. To be honest, I don't know what he has under there besides a T-shirt (please God let there be pants of some sort) because I always only catch him from the back before he sits down. Pajama Girl comes in dark T-shirt and plaid long jammie pants.
Actually, is it okay to slap a guest upside the head? Pajama Boy hasn't made eye contact with me yet, and he's been here two days. I smile brightly, ask questions, and he never takes his eye off the newspaper and sometimes grunts.
Best part---they're here two more days.

 

[InnBloom]

The people who feel the need to ask you a question or point out something from their room EVERY time they lay eyes on you. Case in point, woman comes waving her broken curling iron in my face this morning, asking do I have trash to throw this away? Yes, so do you...in the trash can in your room. They are becoming stalkers..

I know what you mean. There have actually been guests I've hidden from!

 

[JBloggs]

Oddly enough, full house, none over 30. Two seatings, they ate every bite. I like it when that happens!
One gal from Sweden went crazy over the "Comphy sheets" on her bed, and said they saved her life. After they left Husband and I discussed that she had burn scars down one side. ! She wanted to know where to get them. So there ya go.

 

[Alibi Ike]

The folks who come down for breakfast in their jammies. pleeeez....
I have a wonderful mix of guests here all the time....young, old and in-between. I LOVE my young guests, but I do have to say, if anyone is going to come down for breakfast in jammies, it's the youngsters. (But let me say, 99% of them wouldn't think of it.) I tried hard not to treat them differently than anyone else yesterday, and figured they'd get the idea when everyone else had dressed (and most had showered!) before breakfast----I figured they'd dress this morning. But no.
Pajama Boy comes down with (our) robe flapping and white sox. To be honest, I don't know what he has under there besides a T-shirt (please God let there be pants of some sort) because I always only catch him from the back before he sits down. Pajama Girl comes in dark T-shirt and plaid long jammie pants.
Actually, is it okay to slap a guest upside the head? Pajama Boy hasn't made eye contact with me yet, and he's been here two days. I smile brightly, ask questions, and he never takes his eye off the newspaper and sometimes grunts.
Best part---they're here two more days..

At least they were covered...we get the teenagers in the boy shorts and tank tops giving everyone a show in the morning. Generally, once they sit on the cold wood chairs they get up and go put more clothes on, but not all of them.
We have a long-standing guest (5 years) who has said 2 full sentences to me in those 5 years (approx 18 room nights): 'Got any Tabasco sauce in this place?' And, 'Don't we get a free night if we stay 5 nights?' (Not a clue why he thought he got a free night. This ain't the Hampton Inn.)
18 breakfasts and that's all I've ever heard him say. Not even a please or thank you. One smile...the second year when I put his plate of eggs down and popped the Tabasco sauce down right after it without his asking.

 

[JBloggs]

Not sure where I posted it, but the couple who borrowed the towel to go to a lake, well I felt bad and ended up giving them the second towel. I was told by the man here that they will only come to the door asking for one anyway, and you aren't accomplishing anything but irritation. So I did. I added the other towel. Today I found the other had been returned and they loved everything, so better to do that then prove a point. Thanks for letting me vent here...

 

[Alibi Ike]

Not sure where I posted it, but the couple who borrowed the towel to go to a lake, well I felt bad and ended up giving them the second towel. I was told by the man here that they will only come to the door asking for one anyway, and you aren't accomplishing anything but irritation. So I did. I added the other towel. Today I found the other had been returned and they loved everything, so better to do that then prove a point. Thanks for letting me vent here....

So, along that line...I saw a play the other night called: Ida's Havin' a Yard Sale wherein Ida gives you the scoop on how to have a profitable yard sale. She goes thru the whole thing from placing an ad ('Ya gotta grab 'em and pull 'em in!) to getting up early to being ready to knowing when you can take a potty break ('Carpe Pee-um') etc.
She said, 'You know you're gonna have early birds. Why fight it? These people got up early to come buy your junk and give you money for it!' And she goes on to explain how if the yard sale starts at 8 she's up at 5, down to the Dunkin' Donuts for a big box of Munchkins to hand out and ready for those early birds by 6:30, with her face on and a smile ready.
It's actually a rather funny play. One woman show but you'd swear there was a whole cast there by the time you leave.